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leaving work...

(20 Posts)
CinnamonPretzel Sun 25-Sep-11 20:05:11

I'm seriously considering handing in my resignation tomorrow to concentrate on my course, house, DS &DD. Tell me I'm not being silly in worrying I'm gambling our future.

If things get hard, I can get a part time job - yes?

I won't be paying 70 squid a week on petrol, nor 200 squid on breakfast club, then we'll have to scrimp and save and make things work financially, like getting rid of sky etc.

There's more pros than cons... I'm still not 100%... I've worked for 17 years and never been out of work, so this is a big decision.

sneezecakesmum Sun 25-Sep-11 20:14:11

Provided your partner's job is fairly secure, and you keep abreast of changes in your given field - if you can manage financially with making various cuts to your household budget, I would seriously consider it.

If your course is also the pathway to a better job then it makes sense to concentrate on that.

If you find caring and guiding your DCs rewarding then that is also a good reason.

If however you are like Carrie Fisher and blinded by bling and 'stuff', your DCs on a daily basis drive you mad, youre obsessed with status, then maybe not. smile

Becaroooo Sun 25-Sep-11 20:16:04

I dont think you are being silly!

Will it make your life easier? Will it make you, your dh and your dc happier? Would you be less stressed? Would you have a better quality of life?

If the answer is "yes" to all these and you can manage by making changes to your budget (like getting rid of sky as you say) then go for it!

Btw, we got rid of cable when we moved (no coverage here) and I honestly dont miss it which really surprised me. If I miss anything I can always watch it on iplayer or 4od.

Good luck

TalesOfTheUnexpected Sun 25-Sep-11 20:29:12

I don't know your history but I'm sure you've considered:

- how you will pay the bills. More time at home generally = increased food/energy bills
- depending on your partners income, your tax credits will change
- you will save on childcare
- changing from working to being a SAHM (although studying) can be hard, but it works for some.

You sound like you've sat down and think there are more pros than cons so go for it.

I gave up work after 18 years. I resented it because it was forced on me. You're making an informed choice. That's a big difference.

lisad123 Sun 25-Sep-11 21:34:48

I did this last may after working since I was 16years old.
There are some days when I miss an adult to talk too, and miss being at work but it's best thing I ever did. I don't have to pain every time the girls have an appointment or the school want a meeting.
I have kept my hand in doing 2 hours s week cover but that's it.
Go for it grin

CinnamonPretzel Mon 26-Sep-11 16:25:25

What a stroke of luck. I didn't go to bed last night, I was doing my final assignment for my current course. Finished it today in time for the post.. phew

Anyhow.. so I didn't go to work, phoned in sick. They have just announced possible redundancies. Saved by the bell...

DH works for the same company, so just waiting for his okay.. then I'll offer myself up for voluntary - I hope it works out hmm

starfishmummy Mon 26-Sep-11 17:17:56

That sounds as if it could turn out for the best.

amistillsexy Mon 26-Sep-11 17:25:05

I gave up about 2 years ago and can honestly say that I am (mow) happier and more contented than I have been for years. It took a long time, though, to get used to the lack of company, 'buzz', and 'status'.
If you do give up, will you be eligable for Carer's allowance? That has made the difference for us. When we added up all the on-costs of working, then looked at benefits we'd be eligable for, there wasn't a lot of difference.
Now though, all DSs are in school, the oncosts would be negligable and we'd be quids in!
I'm still not rushing out to get a job, however. For me, the stress of never knowing when DS1 will have another melt-down and get sent home ( or excluded again blush ) is too much for me to consider a 'regular' job.

bigbluebus Mon 26-Sep-11 18:58:16

I gave up my part time job 12 years ago when DD started SN school full time. Had used a nanny to look after her and DS at home for 2 days a week, but nanny resigned and with DD starting school full time it was not cost effective or possible to get replacement nanny for the few hours a week I needed + school holidays - so I resigned after 16 years with same company.

I can honestly say I have never regretted my decision. Yes we have had to cut back on the luxuries - don't miss Sky TV for sure - but we manage and I am always available when DD or DS (both have SN) have appointments at school or hospital or are ill.
I joined a gym so am fitter now than I have ever been and do some voluntary work at DD's school and DS's old primary school and I am on the committee or our local Parent Participation Forum for disabled children's services which involves meetings with the 'decision makers' in the PCT and LA. (all giving me valuable skills should I decide to look for work in the future)

So Cinnamon, if you can manage financially - and even better if you can get some redundancy money out of them - then I would recommend being a SAHM - it is as lot less stressful than trying to juggle work with everything else.

Good luck with your decision

Anna85 Mon 26-Sep-11 19:08:06

I have just done exactly that and had the same worries which you have!! I had worked since I left school and the prospect of not having a job did really worry me but.....I have now realised was the BEST decision I could ever have made and should have done it ages ago!!

I have already seen a difference in my DS who has HFA and that in itself makes it worthwhile!!

I am hoping to retrain when I can!

sneezecakesmum Wed 28-Sep-11 18:10:15

being a SAHM while your DCs are small is much less stressfull than juggling work and home. In my own case I did this when they were under 5 and returned to work on a part time basis. It is the best of both worlds regardless on SN issues imo. Going without the luxuries was bearable as the child guilt thing was not there, and now I am back working I can spend what I like on my family - within reason - and still no guilt cos I earned it grin

glimmer Wed 28-Sep-11 19:07:56

I am going through the same considerations and my personal conclusions
are different. We would actually save money if I stay home, but in the end
I was so scared of who'd I become, that I decided to go part-time remotely.
(DH found job in other city, so I am changing from being the bread-winner to
being the main care-giver which is what I wanted.)
It depends on the circumstances though: it seems you are taking a course,
so you have one things that's just for you and I have been working as an independent scientist for many years, so a rewarding and challenging job and not just a means of making money. I think a certain balance will allow me to be a better mother.

sneezecakesmum Thu 29-Sep-11 14:13:44

Glimmer is so right - it is all about balance.

good luck with your decision smile

brandy77 Thu 29-Sep-11 14:34:33

i gave up my job of 10 years in january 2010 so i could concentrate more on my son, i do miss adult company and you do feel isolated and i used to like telling people "i work as a TA" as i still find you are stigmatised when taking up a caring role. Since i left paid employment i now work on a friday as a voluntary support worker for people with alzheimers and i love it and if my son has a hospital/school or other apt then i am in a position to ring "work" and tell them i cant get in

chickensaresafehere Thu 29-Sep-11 15:01:47

I was made redundant in Feb this year & had a major panic & applied for jobs,got one & stuck at it for 5 months,but never really enjoyed it.Got really worried about the prospect of not having a job as have been working since I was 16(I'm 40 now),but it wore me down so much & dd2 was starting MS school this year.So sat down,looked at our finances & took the plunge & quit!!
I claim carers allowance & our tax credit has gone up too,which all helps.
3 months down the line and I'm finding it abit hard as it is all alien to me,but I feel the benefits for dd2 far outweigh my feelings at the mo(which I'm sure will pass!!
Go for it!!!

CinnamonPretzel Thu 29-Sep-11 16:47:08


I just don't know what to do. When I'm in work, I'm screaming at myself that I just need to get out. I can't cope with it - I hate it there; all enthusiasm for the job has gone. When I left work today I was almost in tears in the car sad
When I get home and relax for 10 mins I think maybe I can cope another day, I used to love my job - I've been there 16 years! Maybe its just my mood, emotions, stress of DS, DH, DD & the course?!?!

Really, I know it will never be the same there again and it won't get any better. We've been taken over 70% by an American company and now have to comply with various legal requirements etc...

Its nothing to do with the hours or the work load.. giving up is just a huge added bonus for my course, kids, house etc. I'm working on my degree for a career change into a profession that I've always wanted to do and should have done the first time round. Just as many hours, just as much hard work, just as much sh**ty politics, red tape, unreasonable expectations but I can see the rewards with in it. I'm the most enthusiastic worker I know - I used to work from 5am till 2am day in day out for years. Obviously I cut back for the DCn and went part time but by the time I've completed my degree and additional training they should both be in Senior school!

Blimey - I don't know if I'm trying to sell this to you guys or me! blush

I'm emotionally drained and fed-up right now and I don't want to take the easy option, but can't see that staying somewhere I hate is going to help me under my current circumstances.

Taking the next few years out leaves me time to keep on top of everything without all that added stress while working towards my dream job.

Although I'd have to cancel the holiday I booked for next year envy

CinnamonPretzel Sat 01-Oct-11 14:11:15

Do you know what.. I'm being stupid! blush
Yes, I'm doing a course working towards a career I've always wanted, but the reason I'm leaving at this time is stress of dealing with everything SN or Mental with my family.
I'm trying so hard to hang on to everything I've had and known and for us as a family now, it isn't working. It saddens me that I can't cope with a life I once loved, because I have so many more important aspects in my life that I need to deal with sad
Giving up the stuff that isn't important right now, that's adding more pressure to my life is the right thing to do and I shouldn't be making excuses for it.
If in 3-5 years I feel I can add those pressures back into my life, then i'll continue with the new career I've chosen. Why try and justify my decisions or persuade myself otherwise.hmm on Monday I'm giving in my notice, be it accepted or not!

mariamagdalena Sat 01-Oct-11 22:29:19

Make sure you don't miss out on the redundancy by writing your letter a couple of days too early!

CinnamonPretzel Tue 04-Oct-11 15:55:51

Put it in, accepted, now on gardening leave... Time to blitz the house smile

IndigoBell Tue 04-Oct-11 16:19:01


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