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what do you do when there seems like there is nothing more that can be done?

(10 Posts)
anniebear Sun 25-Sep-11 11:45:51

sad Am really at the end of my tether with my Daughter aged 10. I feel like I just cannot carry on day in day out , but what are you supposed to do?

Broke down yesterday wheh the deputy Head at her SN school asked how I was!! I was honest with her and said "if my husband behaved the way my DD does, then I would be an abused wife (emotionaly) and would be told to leave him!!

I am really at a loss. I am 40 years old and feel like I have no life, it's not fair, why should I have have to live like this and put up with what I put up with

We have seen the complex behaviour team since she was about 4/5 , we are now trying medication , doesnt seem to be having an effect but it can still be upped yet. But what if it has no effect?

Sorry , am waffling away!! Just feel at a loss. Never posted about this as I know so many of you here have it even worse than me! But then I also know you are some of the only few that understand

thank you for letting me waffle, probably doesnt make any sense lol

LeninGrad Sun 25-Sep-11 11:48:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad Sun 25-Sep-11 11:50:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IndigoBell Sun 25-Sep-11 12:04:10

sad Very sorry to hear what a hard time you are having at the moment.


Do you think your DD might do better in a residential school?

My aunt had to do that with her 9 year old DS, and it broke her heart - but she said it was so much better once he was there. She could spend all weekend enjoying him having had a rest from him all week, and school could properly look after him all week - which she couldn't do anymore.

Or is there any other type of respite you could get? I know all of these things are impossibly hard to get......

sazale Sun 25-Sep-11 15:24:55

I often feel like that too, anniebear. Especially since the recent escalation in meltdowns which I know is caused by anxiety at school but when my 4 year old clings to me saying he's scared every time she starts screaming and shouting I find it hard to remember that it's because she's not coping. My 4 year old has started having nightmares and becoming more clingy which has coincided with the escalation as well. She will verbally threaten him and she is 13! I also have a son of 10 who gets so annoyed at the stress she causes.

I grew up with a sister that was volatile and took all my parents attention and it was hard. I don't want my children to feel like I felt growing up but what are you meant to do?!

I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone chuck x

anniebear Mon 26-Sep-11 09:30:51

thanks. It's jsut so hard isnt it, doesnt seem fair that we have to live like this.

Couldnt send her to a residential school, love her to bits, the other side of her is just gorgeous! She is so loving ,. caring and funny! but when she flips....she really flips!!

thank ss

Davros Mon 26-Sep-11 11:05:28

What medication are you trying? Echo the idea of respite if there is any chance.

anniebear Mon 26-Sep-11 20:06:20

Methlyphenadate, started with a very low dose and upping very gradually

we get 3 hours a week DP, which we usually use a couple of saturdays a month and I have jsut asked for overnight direct payments and got 8 nights per year which I am happy with for now! smile

babs2011 Wed 28-Sep-11 18:51:45

im so know how your feeling my son will scream shout swear started spiting now over the simple little thing the other night it was because i never jumped to his demand and hes dad did offer to get what he wanted with him he just flip his lid .. hes already been excluded from school because of this,
and now only getting 4 1/2 hours schooling a week .. like you the other side to him is so sweet and a joy to be with him . i feel heart ache when he dose act this why as i do no what to do im living on egg shells .

babs2011 Wed 28-Sep-11 18:54:28


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