Literally pmsl

[StarlightMcKenzie]

My mum is paying for the children and me to go to London Zoo with her tomorrow.

I told ds and dd this evening as they were going to bed.

I said 'we're going to the zoo tomorrow. We're going to see tigers, and giraffes. Oh, and we're going to see Nan'.

Cue the pair of them rofl (And I do mean ROFL) with me startled until ds pipes up 'No not Nan in the zoo '

[Eveiebaby]

Ahh - that sounds really funny

[Claw3]

brilliant

[coff33pot]

hehehee! now you just need them to NOT repeat tomorrow LOL

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Hmmm. You had to be there but honestly I didn't think about the literal side.

My favourite that I heard on here was:

What happens at the end of the book?
The index.

Not sure who's ds that was but I've never quite got over that one.

[coff33pot]

love it!

[sazale]

Brilliant! My daughter comes out with pearlers regularly. One of my faves that she once said was when my partner was talking about someone and said "you wouldn't pee on em if they were on fire" and my DD butted in with "that's right Dad, you'd tell em to stop, drop & roll!"

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Ha ha LOL! That must have had you in stitches.

We were doing feature function and class work with ds.

We said to him 'sheep, pigs and goats are all.........?'

And he replied 'scary!'

[coff33pot]

Well tonite we had MIL round and DS was showing her his guitar and gave his big one to DH. MIL said that perhaps DS could play and Daddy could sing. DH said "It will be really bad if I sing!"

DS thumped his Dad in the ribs twice. And I told him to stop and he said "Dad said if I was BAD then he would sing" ooops.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

[sazale]

Love it I try so hard not to laugh when DD says things like that but sometimes I just can't help it!! I've got a sister who often gets her words muddled up and one of my faves of hers was when she was about 20 years she was asking about asylum seekers (me & my other sister are a lot older than her). My older sister explained about Albanians being persecuted etc etc. My younger sister replied " oh I know who they are, they're the ones with pink eyes and White hair!" I nearly choked!! We still laugh about it nearly 10 years later!

[Claw3]

LOL Sazale

Paed to ds "what do you want to be when your older"

Ds "hmm about 40"

[davidsotherhalf]

few yrs ago we took ds to see doctor at camhs we had to take dd with us as it was school holidays......doctor was asking ds about pocket money, asked how much do u get a week? ds answered, doctor asked how much is that a month? ds didn't answer, but dd answered question, doctor then asked ds how much does that come to for the year, again dd answered, doctor said to dd let me get my calculator as i can't work that out in my head.....dd turned to me and said i thought doctors are supposed to be clever, then dd turned to the doctor and asked to see proof that he was a doctor as she was only 6 and cleverer than him, i just wanted to hide under the table.......
friend was looking in the local paper for a used car but couldn't find one...ds asked can i look at cars.....after 5mins ds said i found you one but you need to buy a new door for it.....ds said advert says 3 door and cars have 4 doors

[Becaroooo]

Took ds1 to the GP about his umbilical hernia.

GP was explaining to ds1 how, if he had it repaired, he would be put to sleep, have a small cut and have his hernia stitched back together and then go home.

Ds1 looked horrified and said...."you mean a Dr will chase me round the hopsital (sic) and shoot me with a dart gun and put me in a crate!!??" (Ds1 has watched far too many nature dvds!)

GP was wiping tears away!

[WilsonFrickett]

(We're non-religious and favourite Uncle is a builder)

DS: Mummy, did you know Uncle Wilson built the ark?
Me: Wasn't it Noah?
DS (Pause): Noah and Uncle Wilson???
Me (ponders briefly theological nighmares ahead): OK.

Me (really thinking should get a grip of said theological nightmares): DS, who told Uncle Wilson and Noah to build the ark?

DS (sage nod): Their mummies, prob'ly

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Oh yes. I asked a child once 'How old are you?

He replied '6'

I then said 'when will you be 7?'

He replied 'At my next birthday!'

Fair enough I thought.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

becaroo, - LOL - I had tears of laughter with your story.

[coff33pot]

Becaroo you had me in hysterics LOL

Today I have decided to let my ds answer the door to salesmen in future...

Knock on door and dd was due to come in so ds rushed to the door. I was watching through the glass and wondered who he was talking too. Anyhow he came in with a dusting dirt off his hands action and said " well that got rid of him mummy. I asked WHO and he said "There was a man and he said he was knocking the door to see if you needed windows" "I told him mum that I get things wrong a lot but I can see we have windows and if we didnt have windows my dog would fall off the windo sill onto the road see?"

[yanny]

love it!

My dd as part of her cognitive testing was shown a picture of a family of sad looking stick figures with a house on fire in the background. Asked what she thought the people were feeling dd replied "Hot." Why? "Because that house behind them is on fire...

[Claw3]

Hahaha, Yanny

[StarlightMcKenzie]

PMSL at Coff and yanny literally tears............

[unpa1dcar3r]

Oh these have all given me a good chuckle...
Younger DSs teacher said to me once that they'd been doing the nativity story and she was going round the class asking who was the baby (Jesus), who was the 3 men with the staffs (shepherds) who was jesus' mummy (mary)...then she gets to our boy and asks and who was Jesus's daddy.
"Eric' he replied!

Another time she asked the class similar things and asked our boy who the men with the staffs were
"The shepherds Pies" He replied.
typical of him to think of his stomach!

[moosemama]

Aw thanks folks, you have really cheered me up with this thread, been in a right grot all day today for some reason.

My contribution is when we took ds to see the GP at the end of 2010 because he was regularly having absences. GP wanted to test his reflex and examine him etc so she says "Right then ds1, can you jump on the couch for me?". "Yes!" says ds1, leaping out of his seat enthusiastically.

Next thing we know ds1 is enthusiastically leaping up and down on the examination couch as it if were a trampoline. At which point the GP blushed, shook her head, looked at me and said "Well, to be fair, I did ask, didn't I!".

I was reminded of it at his paed appointment earlier this week, when the paed asked him to "hop up onto the couch". This time I was quick to interject and explain to ds1 what he wanted him to do - only I forgot to mention that when I said "lie down on the couch" he wasn't going to sleep, so instead of lying on his back he curled up in a little ball on his side, like he does in his bed.

[yanny]

I love reading these!

Me: Dd, there's no school tomorrow because of all the snow - we'll be able to get a lie in.

Dd: I don't want to get a wild animal...

[WilsonFrickett]

Excellent

[unpa1dcar3r]

Yanny
In fact all of them [grinning like a loon here]
Thanks guys

After a pretty poopy weekend with mine it's nice to be reminded of the fun things.