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Difficult day

(17 Posts)
coff33pot Wed 21-Sep-11 19:50:18

Got the final EP report today for the stat assess sad

Thought I would be ok as mostly what they put in it I have expressed concern about and requested the same sort of intervention and therapy and help for him at school.

What the EP suggests I have already been crying out for for him and so have a couple other professionals I just hope the school really read this report and act on it.

But I am not ok. I dont even have a proper full dx yet just "sections" of SPD, EBD and now ODD and I am now getting so confused with it all. I have focused on AS really not all these bits. its like they are just adding on and on and on and I feel like screaming just stick it under one bloody title and have done with! I can then finally deal with it somehow and continue the help.

Sorry just feeling shitty sad

MangoMonster Wed 21-Sep-11 19:58:14

Sorry you feel crap, professional do tend to add on acronyms which make it seem overwhelming...

coff33pot Wed 21-Sep-11 20:10:39

I think its just made it worse today as not only did I get this in the post, the school had an Autism Outreach person in assessing and by the time I got there DS was in full meltdown in front of the man who at the same time was trying to tell me above his growling that he was doing remarkably well in class confused

Then half hour later a first SALT appt where I had to go through ds history again and then for her to tell me that my suspicions of autism are correct even though she cannot diagnose and it has to be 3 proffesionals of which she is one of them.

THEN to top it all we had to put MIL dog to sleep today and MIL doesnt even know as she is on hols. I got DD (NT) breaking her heart as we only lost her grandad 12months ago and now the dog who she loved and I have DS who just stared at her and said "does that mean nannys next?" with a plain face. And of course he is going on and on by saying "I am upset but........not crying" dd said you would be crying if it was our dog and he said "look ours is young "dog" is old and so he dies DD thats how it works" then repeats all over.

I think it is this that is actually getting to me and making it all hit home tonite to be honest sad

MangoMonster Wed 21-Sep-11 20:21:12

Sounds rough, some days you just want to forget...your poor mil, losing a pet when you're not around is hard. Hope things are brighter tomorrow.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Wed 21-Sep-11 23:56:54

Hi coff33. It's one of those getting it in black and white moments. Starlight says getting slapped in the face doesn't hurt any less just because you are expecting it. (((hugs))) Vent and cry, it actually helps. xx

WilsonFrickett Thu 22-Sep-11 00:16:24

That is one shitty day Coff33. Hugs, wine to you.

madwomanintheattic Thu 22-Sep-11 01:36:30

oh bless you. cup of tea and a good sob before an early night. tomorrow is another day x

squidworth Thu 22-Sep-11 07:53:02

This was the hardest part for my son he needed extra help but the classroom is for the teacher and pupils so any outsider would cause a meltdown within seconds. So when eventually the help did come it came thick and fast and my DS took a huge step backwards and it seemed to do more harm than good, but now he is doing well and can cope with the change of teachers that happens in secondary school. I learnt with my son that his tears came with frustration and when he was upset he had to rationalise and compartmentalise his sadness and even now his very rarely cries. An EP wrote he showed lack of empathy but I have never agreed as I see his pain in his silence or his need to have questioned answers.

coff33pot Thu 22-Sep-11 15:06:51

Thanks for the support guys smile The day got worse lol I ended up rushing off at 9pm to take a friend to A&E with suspected heart attack ended up getting home at 3.20am! All is ok though that is the most important thing.

Feeling sort of vacant today prob due to being tired. Didnt send in DS home book as didnt want to read anymore stuff about him for one day and just had a lazy day.

I understand what you are saying squidworth about seeing the pain in your sons silence. DS doesnt actually physically cry unless he is at the end of a major long meltdown and I think that is due to exhaustion and finally the release of what he is actually upset about. He showed his sis empathy by asking her to cover her ears and he hid under the front room curtain then came back and said smile now "sis" I saw a shooting star and wished and "dog" will be back tomorrow. So the caring was there but in the same breath the logical answers of we all die was repeated followed by I am hungry and then I am upset like he was acting out his sisters emotions by copying her reaction but without the tears. It was odd.

The SALT was promising though and that was good as she said she can help him and will ensure help is provided in school in that respect so i really got to be grateful in that respect and the fact that I am not far off getting a statement now hopefully. x

mariamagdalena Thu 22-Sep-11 16:05:30

Coff I think you're spot on about copying his sisters reaction but without the tears, but it's not really odd, more like a toddler learning about phones by copying you and holding the mobile to their ear.

Getting drip-feeds of diagnosis bits is horrid. At least with one proper 'label' you know where you stand. In some ways, absolute diagnostic clarity can be even less helpful. A complicated list of problems stops the ignorant from saying that they are an expert on your child's needs because they once did a half day training on (insert syndrome of choice).

Sorry about the dog sad

Becaroooo Thu 22-Sep-11 17:27:20

Sorry you have had such a crap time coff

Am dreading getting ds1's EP report...should be tomorrow....God only knows what it will say.

coff33pot Thu 22-Sep-11 17:44:58

Thanks Becarooo I send you big HUGS for tomorrow and I hope its not too difficult for you but I am forewarning that my emotions took a good battering x

I suppose "odd" was an incorrect term for an SN child blush I think its because I show feelings within family, dd was devastated, my other dd also was upset even though much older. It was the shock on his face as dd ran to me and bawled her eyes out as if to say "what on earth is the matter" then all this logical analysing. Didnt help today because MIL came home from hols last night and so wanted to see the kids. Very difficult changing subject with DS in earshot as he kept on the curiousness and I was dreading the "are you next nanny" question coming out of his mouth blush

Becaroooo Thu 22-Sep-11 17:51:56

I am sure mine will too coff and sadly dh is away with work and ds2 is ill and I have had a hospital appt today and just feel a bit overwhelmed, you know?

Hope your day gets better x

coff33pot Thu 22-Sep-11 17:56:39

well the sun has decided to shine so maybe that is a good omen and ds has decided he would like to go to Beavers so that should tire him out nicely for bed.

Will be around most of the day tomorrow so will be popping on and off here if you do get it and need a shoulder smile

Becaroooo Thu 22-Sep-11 17:58:41

Thanks coff....got to wait til they send me the invoice, then pay them, then we get the report!!!

Had 14 lots of blood taken earlier so am off for some chocolate because I am fat and greedy in case I get faint grin

<<gibber>>

lifesamerrygoround Thu 22-Sep-11 18:07:50

Coff sorry your having such a crap day ((((hugs))))
Becarooo good luck for tomorrow.
ellenjane that is sooo true!

coff33pot Thu 22-Sep-11 18:49:54

14 LOTS!!! good grief I am surprised you didnt slither under your door! grin

Get them choccies down you you deserve them!

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