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ASD and the return to school....

(12 Posts)
thisisyesterday Wed 21-Sep-11 16:43:11

how are you all coping?
ds1 has not only had returning to school to deal with, but he has changed school completely.
he's been ok during school (as far as I can tell).... but at home he is being utterly vile!

having to do a LOT of "this too shall pass" muttered under my breath. along with "don't take it personally" and "don't yell back" blush

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 21-Sep-11 17:14:41

Hi thisisyesterday

Is your son additionally supported at school, does he for instance have a Statement?. How do school actually support him?.

You say he has changed school completely, did he move up into a new school e.g Juniors?.

Some children do act up an awful lot at home after being at school all day long. They bottle up their frustrations and take it out on the nearest and dearest when they get home. Sometimes this type of situation comes about also because their additional needs at school are not being met.

thisisyesterday Wed 21-Sep-11 19:05:29

we moved him to a new montessori school that has just opened. did a fair bit of preparation, meeting his new classmates over the summer, visit to the school etc etc and he's been really good while he's there. The class sizes are much smaller and I think he'll be a lot happier than where he was but it's just the change and everything being new that's making him stressed I think.

he doesn't have a statement or any specific things in place at school, but his new teacher is really on the ball and has worked with autistic children before as has the SENCO who has just moved from working in an autism unit so he's in the right hands I think!

I do think I might ask for a meeting between us the teacher and the SENCO though, just to discuss how he is doing, his behaviour at home and ways that we might help him calm down a bit.
He's like it when he goes back to school after any holiday though tbh, and september is always worst because he has been away for so long

Ineedalife Wed 21-Sep-11 19:11:56

Dd3[8] used to be awful in september, for the last 4 years we have felt that we have wasted the first term of every year while she has struggled to settle.

However, this year since her move to a new and brilliantly inclusive school, she has settled in to her new class really well.

What she is struggling with though is that I have started to look after my DGD before and after nursery every day which means Dd3 has to share her house and me. She is not impressedsad.

I hope your Ds settles in at his new school it sounds like it will be great when he gets used to it.

Good lucksmile

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 22-Sep-11 09:23:44

Hi this is

re your comment:-
"he doesn't have a statement or any specific things in place at school, but his new teacher is really on the ball and has worked with autistic children before as has the SENCO who has just moved from working in an autism unit so he's in the right hands I think!"

At least the situation is good - currently - with regards his teachers and his school but I would seriously consider now applying for a Statement for him. Keep a close eye on how things are. He will need extra support particularly if DS goes into a mainstream state infants school. You need to think longer term as well.

Do ask for a meeting the with SENCO and meet with them too on a regular basis.

Dawndonna Thu 22-Sep-11 11:07:30

We too are suffering with fallout. Same every year. What we have found is that the period each year has got shorter. We're into the second week now and things are easing off. She's just gone into year ten.
Don't know if it's any help, but for the week before term starts we make sure she has friends from school round for various activities, the idea being she has something to discuss for the first few days, with people she has interacted with.

thisisyesterday Thu 22-Sep-11 14:26:24

do you think he would get a statement if his needs are not severe?

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 22-Sep-11 14:36:51

The only criteria for a statement is need.

I suggested a statement simply because you need to look longer term as well. If it has been suggested previously for instance that your DS would not obtain a statement because his needs are "not severe enough" this is a lot of old hogwash!.

thisisyesterday Thu 22-Sep-11 14:50:32

no it hasn't, but i do know a few people who've had to really fight for a statement for children whose needs are much greater and far more obvious than ds's

glitch Thu 22-Sep-11 15:42:26

I'm so glad you have posted this, we are doing really badly sad. It is reassuring (but sad) to know we aren't the only ones.

Bad behavior at school from DS (5) including throwing tables, chairs, shoes this week. Just walked home with him screaming, refusing to come with me. No idea what to do. Have him sat on the sofa as he has lost access to all tv, wii, baking, he can't play independantly unless I help and I just can't fucking bring myself to do anything with him or I might scream.

Any tips and ideas gratefully received to get me over this afternoon.

coff33pot Thu 22-Sep-11 17:53:00

Nearly the end of the day lol but how about early bath and a play in there followed by a couple easy games you find on the net like cbeebies that he could use the mouse for. (banned from tv/wii but not computer so you could get away with it and make it the only choice he has) It might make it more calming before bedtime so he isnt still wound up for bed and then the morning again x

glitch Fri 23-Sep-11 08:07:52

Thanks coff33pot, we did calm down and played trains in the end.

I realised that I've forgotten how to manage him. I'm forgetting to reward the good behavior and that removing things from him never works.

We have agreed on a star chart and he can have a star if his LSA tells me he has tried hard on his behavior at school. He can earn a chocolate car (his choice!!smile) when he gets 5.

This has worked in the past for my DS so it might work for others if you are still struggling.

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