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Eating dilema

(41 Posts)
Claw3 Sun 18-Sep-11 14:43:02

Ds's diet is extremely limited, chips, bread, cheerios, grapes and thats about it, he is 7 years old and that is all he has ever eaten.

He has surprised me by just requesting that i cook him some chicken nuggets. He has never eaten any meat as he "doesnt eat dead animals" he also tells everyone "im a vegetarian"

Now my dilema, he is under the impression that chicken nuggets are not meat. Do i let him eat them without telling him that they in fact made out of chicken in the hope that he will like them and want to continue eating them before someone tells him.

or

Do i tell him with the risk of him then never trying them. I want him to eat, but i dont want him never to trust me again.

Tomorrowslookingfine Sun 18-Sep-11 14:59:51

Hmmm difficult decision... Could you perhaps get some of the vegetarian "fake" chicken nuggets that are made to look/taste like real ones?

I think I would tell him the truth before he eats them, and let him make the choice for himself, as its not worth losing his trust IMO.

justaboutstillhere Sun 18-Sep-11 15:00:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LizzieMo Sun 18-Sep-11 18:29:29

I agree with Tomorrowslookingfine - get the Quorn ones. That way you are not risking his trust in you. This is an opportunity for him to try something new, I would not let it go by.

IndigoBell Sun 18-Sep-11 18:53:46

They're called chicken nuggets.

You can feign surprise that he didn't realise they were meat given their name.

There is no way I would not feed them to him given his limited diet.

nightcat Sun 18-Sep-11 22:20:16

well, you could verbally dress them up that they are good for something, eg to keep strong and healthy or similar, this is not exactly a lie tho I suppose it depends how much meat is actually in them, b/c we do need some animal protein to build our own muscles, I would even go as far as making them myself (which is what I often did in the past and still do occasionally now)

They do need to learn to eat a variety of foods, so grab the opportunity smile

ouryve Sun 18-Sep-11 22:35:38

DS1 insists he is vegetarian, but eats meat almost every day! He doesn't count ham, hot dogs or beefburgers as meat.

I'd cook him what he asks for. If his diet is so limited, he'll need the nutrients from it.

Claw3 Sun 18-Sep-11 22:40:44

We have tried lots of different meat alternatives and ds wont touch them. We have had Dietician, OT, CAMHS, food groups etc, none of which have worked. He is severe anemic.

Well he has eaten them now, he ate 4 and asked could he have the same tomorrow. I feel bad about not being honest with him. I have justified it to my myself with im also not entirely honest with him about father christmas or the tooth fairy either!

ouryve Sun 18-Sep-11 22:58:11

I think he can start to reject foods on ethical grounds when he has a better understanding of the need to eat a wide range of foods for the sake of his own health. I wouldn't feel guilty.

silverfrog Sun 18-Sep-11 23:00:34

glad he has eaten and enjoyed them - I don't envy you your dilemma, Claw.

I just wanted to say: document this - it is more evidence of his inability to understand the world around him (ref: verbal comprehension scores and how that doesn't translate into everyday life).

If he had asked for "nuggets" then fair enough, easy(ish) mistake to make. but he asked you for chicken nuggets, and has not realised they contain chicken? get it logged.

IndigoBell Mon 19-Sep-11 06:49:05

Silver frog - my kids didnt realise chicken nuggets came from chicken, at 7.

VoldemortsNipple Mon 19-Sep-11 07:07:45

claw3 he is probably only saying he is vegetarian as another way of refusing food rather than an ethical decision. Well done to your DS for trying something new. It must have been very scary for him.

Claw3 Mon 19-Sep-11 09:43:38

Ouryve exactly, he doesnt understand that chicken nuggets are made of chicken, because they dont look like a chicken.

Good point Silver it is a perfect example and ive scribbled that down.

Voldemort, my thoughts exactly. The perfect excuse to exclude more food.

His 'ethics' started when he was about 3 years old and a Paed asked him "do you eat chicken" he looked at her in horror and disgust and replied "you DONT eat chickens, they live on farms". I think he had visions of literally picking up a chicken and on a farm and eating it! But he has never eaten meat, even as a baby, the only baby food he would eat was one particular meat free variety. He had the same thing, every single day, even then.

His confusing 'ethics' come from his love of animals. We had a chat about them last night and he doesnt want to eat 'cute' animals. I pointed out that chickens were not 'cute' and that it would be ok to eat them!

Marne Mon 19-Sep-11 10:59:47

Claw your ds sounds just like dd1 (and they are the same age), she tells people she's a vegatarian but she does eat McDonalds nuggets and will often have a bite of a sausage, she wont eat any (what i call) real meet so no chops, stew, roast ect..., he diet is quite limited, to cheese sandwiches, crisps, grapes, strawberries and pizza.

I wouldn't actually tell him that nuggets come from an animal, as long as he does not ask then you are not lying smile. (chickens are birds anyway, so slightly different to cows and sheep).

Claw3 Mon 19-Sep-11 13:14:59

Thanks Marne, i will tell him that chickens are birds, so slightly different as well as not being 'cute'!

Over the years i keep trying to introduce again, what i call 'kid food' ie nuggets, sausage rolls, fish fingers etc, but it never works. So him actually asking for chicken nuggets, is a real break through. I was trying to think of similar food to nuggets and ive got some fish fingers, will try these tonight. Although of course he doesnt eat fish either, as he is a 'vegetarian'!

He announces to everyone and anyone who will listen "im a vegetarian", its his party piece and when he says that he eats chicken nuggets, someone is going say something eventually. So if we can establish in the meantime that chicken and fish are not 'cute' AND strictly speaking are NOT animals as such, he might accept that smile

Marne Mon 19-Sep-11 18:12:42

Ah, Dd1 says 'i am vegetarian, but i dont eat veg and i eat fish fingers' smile, tell him fish does not count as meat, they are stupid creatures and Cod is very ugly (not cute at all).

Good luck with the fish fingers, dd1 will only eat them if they have no dark bits in (which is imposible).

nightcat Mon 19-Sep-11 23:28:02

well, you can also be half-vegeterian (like my ds used to describe himself in the past) when u eat ham and such like smile

Claw3 Tue 20-Sep-11 09:41:13

Well, my 'vegetarian' who doesnt eat fish, ate 2 fish fingers last night!! But decided that fish was something he didnt want to eat until he was 10 hmm

Funny how he can talk about fish fingers and fish and not see the connection. I was waiting for the 'are fish fingers made of fish' but it didnt happen. Im quite happy to make the most of it, while it lasts.

IndigoBell Tue 20-Sep-11 09:42:11

Well done little claw.

He's doing so well, you should be really proud of him.

Claw3 Tue 20-Sep-11 09:54:50

Oh i am indigo grin it feels like light at the end of the tunnel. We have tried everything, every expert, ive read every book, tried every approach known to man etc, etc and nothing. Then ds decides out of the blue, im going to eat chicken nuggets!

One thing i have noticed is his eating tends to go in cycles, so he will eat nothing but chicken nuggets for the next 3 months and exclude chips, bread etc. Then chicken nuggets will be excluded and he will nothing but chips for the next 3 months, then bread and so on and on. But still progress as chicken nuggets will now be in cycle and they were not before. Hopefully fish fingers too. Next step trying to get something else on the plate with the chicken nuggets, maybe a chip!

nightcat Tue 20-Sep-11 10:08:14

well done little Claw, we are allowed to change our mind you know :D

Marne Tue 20-Sep-11 11:52:55

Well done, he's doing really well.

Fish fingers are not made of fish as fish do not have fingers grin.

Claw3 Tue 20-Sep-11 12:36:53

LOL Marne this is exactly the kind of logic ds has grin

justaboutstillhere Tue 20-Sep-11 14:01:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ouryve Tue 20-Sep-11 14:24:49

Oooh - turkeys are nearly as ugly as cod! (And a little more iron rich than chicken)

Claw - for combining protein and carbs, how about fish cakes? I ventured into Tesceurgh, the other day, and they've started selling the Jamie Oliver ones, which are really quite nice and don't have the instant mashed potato flavour that the Birds Eye ones have.

(DS2 is so much better than he used to be with his food - our latest breakthrough is getting him to eat veg - by serving them coated in breadcrumbs!!! We've been working our way through a lot of the frozen veggie burgers etc that Sainsburys do and so far, he loves the vegetable burgers and nut cutlets, but not the vegetable dunkers)

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