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I'm so mad, dd1 told me she's being bullied :(

(4 Posts)
lisad123 Sun 18-Sep-11 00:23:38

Had a slight issue with smith girl last year, with this girl taking dd1 stuff and not giving it back till dd1 cried, got upset or went to tell teacher. School said they would keep an eye on it. But since back this term, she's doing it again and also telling dd1 that her best friend doesn't like her anymore and is now her best friend.

I'm so angry for dd1. Shes autistic but really struggles with her anxiousness and hates any form of confrontation. She has told me this girl doesn't have friends as shed so unkind to people which is very sad too, so had told dd1 to be nice as this girl is clearly very angry and that it's sad for the little girl. Wish I hadn't bothered now!!

Going to talk to schol Monday

EllenJaneisnotmyname Sun 18-Sep-11 12:00:41

Oh, Lisa, that sounds hard to deal with. On one hand you're feeling sorry for this girl (does she have SN herself?) but on the other you really have to put your own DD first. Hopefully the school will be able to deal with it. (((hugs)))

lisad123 Sun 18-Sep-11 12:25:38

No as far as I know she has no special needs. Clearly she's a very angry little girl and I know dd1 isn't the only one she's unkind too sad
I would normally go and talk to parents but her mum is very scary and last yer she had a go at another parent infront of everyone!!

moosemama Sun 18-Sep-11 13:50:37

Lisa ((hugs))

I've been through similar with ds1. One boy in particular, who is a problem to everyone, but found particular pleasure in picking on ds, both in class and in the playground. He has had a difficult life, home isn't great and as an adult, I know that all he is a very unhappy little boy who really just want a friend, so at first I did the same as you and asked ds to try and consider that this boy is really unhappy and just wants a friends etc, but in the end had to take it further.

It took a long time for the school to take it seriously and I wish I had come down harder and gone to the Head straight away. So my advice would be to be tough with the school straight off - getting a copy of their anti-bullying policy and quote it at them is always a good one. If its happening outside, get them to allocate a specific playground/lunchtime supervisor to your dd to make sure your dd knows where to go for help and that she has an adult on side. That supervisor can then watch out for them in the playground and act to head off potential problems if necessary.

Its awful, but we can't take care of all the children and ultimately have to put our own children first, especially when like ours they have ASD. I felt bad at first having to do it, but at the same time furious at what my ds was having to deal with on a daily basis. It has made a huge difference to my ds though, especially now they have moved the bully to a different class.

Hope the school jump on it right away and sort it out for your dd.

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