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Im so anxious

(6 Posts)
lifesamerrygoround Wed 14-Sep-11 09:02:36

My DS is due to be assessed tomorrow for DCD. I am so nervous about the outcome. We have seen many professionals over the past 3 years and DCD has been mentioned on a few occassions and we agreed "wait and see". Now im finally nearly there, to getting a diagnois. Last year I was desperate for some confirmation, now I want another year!
Ive been working so hard with DS the last few months and alternative therapies and amazing progress. I went into a stage of denial over the past 3-4 months because of such great progress with these therapies. I personally believed he was going get through this, until a hateful family member said things like "I cant see any improvement in DS, his walks still as akward as ever, he stands out like a sore thumb"!!!!!! I was devastated. It wasnt what she said, it was the way she said it. I know there has been unbelievable progress and I know they will see it tomorrow, but Ive just got the wind knocked out of my by FAMILY.

With family like mine, would it be best for his diagnois if any to be kept between myself, husband and school? I also dont like the idea of people talking about DS, ie "you know *, the one with DCD" when talking about him. I have noticed people do this all the time. Even with family, they will talk about DS to thier friend who will talk about it and before you know it its the talk of the schoolrun! What I really dont want tho, is a child hearing this and my DS being subjected to teasing.

Can anyone advise what they done and who they told?

Thanks

effiegrey2 Wed 14-Sep-11 11:39:51

A year ago we moved towns, and schools. My dd2's previous school kept my dd2's diagnosis between us and them. The new school, in a spirit of openess has talked extensivly about DD"'s problems to her classmates, though without actually mentioned the name of the diagnosis. I think as a result of that we are being ostracized, only last week a child who wanted my daughter invited to her birthday was told by her mother 'anyone but her'. Mothers who, when we started were quite friendly started to run a mile after the teachers little talk about DD"'s 'differentness'. I am sure the school felt they were doing what was best for all concerned, but my poor DD is in solitary as a result. I would say, tell people on a need to know basis and ask the school to keep private information private.

lifesamerrygoround Wed 14-Sep-11 11:52:03

effiegrey2 Thanks for sharing your experience. thats awful, im sure its really hard for both you and dd! Its hard enough on the kids realising they are a bit different and have to try so much harder, without other kids and parents behaving like that angry That is exactly what im worried about. The way im thinking is let people think what they want but dont give them the bait, so to speak. I just think its sounds like im ashamed, but its really not that at all.

effiegrey2 Wed 14-Sep-11 14:09:03

It's not shame, but there is a lot of prejudice out there.

lifesamerrygoround Thu 15-Sep-11 21:13:10

DS had assessment today and came in at 2nd percercentile for DCD. All other reports/assessments also support this, so thats us. :-(
Very upset today, but I know once I get over the initial shock of it, i can move forward on working towards focussing on what DS is good at and also help with some coping strategies.
i have decided to keep this between husband, myself and school for now. My family can be my worst enemies at times and I dont need their comments and opinions for now.

effiegrey2 Fri 16-Sep-11 13:46:55

It is upsetting, no matter what you know, seeing it in black and white is a bit overwhelming.
Ofetn people can be very hurtful, even when they are well meaning. A senco was sympathising with my dd's speech problems, and said when her son started school, he was reluctant to talk, adding brightly that now he was off to university! Well, great, but as she was reading my daughters statement at the time it was a bit like someone with a small bruise sympathising with a broken pelvis.

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