Newbie needs help with Sensory problems!!

[LizzieMo]

I posted this on the SEN board but I think it might be better on this board, sorry if I am being a pain in moving posts around!!! I'd appreciate any help/opinions on this.

I am new to this so please bear with me. My DD (is that right meaning a daughter?) is 6 and very anxious. She has problems with going to school, although she usually settles once she is there. Getting her to go is another matter. She finds clothes uncomfortable, labels(all removed) socks- too itchy, tried seamless but then the length became an issue- eg obsessed with both socks being exactly the same height on her leg, gets agitated if one was perceived to be slightly higher than the other (although no one else around her could see the difference)
Now her pants are also a problem, I must have bought about 20 pairs recently, all different sizes/styles, all pretty colours to make her want to wear them- nothing is ever comfortable and if she is not screaming about the discomfort, she is walking along to school hands constantly down skirt to 'adjust' them.
She gets overwhelmed easily and this sometimes makes her 'meltdown' but we have been working on controlling the temper and she has been much better recently.
I just don't know what to do about the clothes issue. At the moment she has no comfortable pants,so is always adjusting them and will only wear those tiny trainer socks. I am worried she will freeze in those in the winter. The school have noticed she is anxious and have been working with her to help, she is very bright and gets good results so they are not worried that it is affecting her learning. We are waiting to see the school nurse but it is a long waiting list. Is there anyone that can help restore our sanity? The whole family is feeling the strain of this. Thank you.

[LizzieMo]

Thanks Leningrad & PipinJo, so relieved that people here seem to understand. Huge relief to find that. The seams do annoy on clothes, I have tried Sensorysmart -thanks for the link- but as PipinJo says once the seams are sorted it is the length of socks, or the sleeves/collar/elastic??? Just replaces one problem with another. She does cope pretty well at school as she gets into her work and this distracts her, but changing for PE is difficult as she has to change out of clothes which she has taken all day to adjust to, and then adjust to her PE kit. After PE back into her uniform, process starts all over again. I do feel so sorry for her!!! She does enjoy PE though and really wants to do it.
The school are understanding, and making allowances. There has been some playground trouble with girls playing in little groups, sometimes she is 'in' with the group and sometimes not, but this seems pretty normal stuff TBH, who did not have that going on when they were at school? Her teacher says she actually copes with it quite well. We are waiting for referral to see if she can get some help. Same story as everywhere. Long waiting lists!!

Sorry to go on & on but sometimes you have to let it out!! Thanks for all your help. It feels good just to be here.

[IndigoBell]

Do you think she might also have ASD? Most kids with ASD have anxiety and sensory difficulties......

I think she needs to be seen by a child development paed as well as an OT.

If you have money to spend Sensory Integration Therapy and/or Retained Reflexes Therapy can vastly help sensory problems.

Lots of private OT clinics run therapies like them. (Where in the country are you?)

Very high anxiety can be caused by a retained Moro reflex, which is cured by retained reflex therapy. We have done this with my DS who has Aspergers, and it has helped a lot.

[LizzieMo]

Hi IndigoBell, thanks for your reply. I don't know about ASD, I have seen various 'check lists' but she only seems to tick a couple of the boxes, maybe she is very slightly affected?? I don't really feel qualified to say. She does cope with everyday life but she needs more help sometimes. I feel that although she is very bright, she is emotionally still very immature, keep hoping that as she grows the gap between the intelligence & emotional maturity will close. But perhaps I am clutching at straws!! BTW, GP is very hands -off, he told me everything has to be done via the school. Was very reluctant to even check her over in Reception year when she was having tummy ache alot. I just wanted to rule out a physical cause before jumping down the anxious child route, but he was dismissive of me and just said 'she does not like school', make out I was just wasting his time. Have not really been back with her since.
I will go and google retained Moro reflex, thanks for the advice!!

[IndigoBell]

Tummy ache is also a problem most kids with ASD have :(

ASD in girls can be very difficult to spot.

You need to be referred to a child development paed. I don't think school can do that - I think the GP has to.

[thebeansmum]

I'm sure you've done it already, but there's a really lovely hand-wash type fabric softener (name escapes me, sorry) on all the supermarket shelves. It's a specialist silk/cashmere type one that comes in flakes, rather than a powder.

I know it would be a ball-ache to wash all her clothes by hand (!!!) but even if it's just the socks and underwear? Stuff comes out baby-soft, it's lovely. Maybe if that works, you could coax her into longer socks that have been washed the same way later when it's freezing?

Sorry if you've already tried it, but I can imagine how difficult and sad it must be to see her stressing over things the way she is. x

[LizzieMo]

Hi to thebeansmum!! I have tried various fabric softeners but had not thought of the hand wash liquids, will give it a go, nothing to lose have I ?? Thanks for the suggestion.

Indigobell- Tummy aches have eased now, that was the first few months of Reception and she had a dreadful teacher who she was terrified of. For a while I thought her anxiety was due to her fear of this teacher, but her Yr1 teacher was lovely and so is her Yr2,sso I think she would not still be harbouring anxietys about a teacher from Reception 2 years later. I agree we need help but I do not know where to access it. School says they will try and hurry up the first appointment with school nurse team, then we will take it from there. I will try and chase up GP to see exactly what he can do, I must admit I did not like the way he pushed everything back onto the school, I think he needs to be involved in her care too!!!

[LizzieMo]

Thanks Mrs M, will check it out. Have heard that M & S also do seamless pants. Will pop down tomorrow and see what I can find. You' re right, Boys pants are much softer- why is that?