I am fast becoming tired of having to say to DH "please stop going over the top at every little thing and making it a confrontation." Is it a guy thing? Honestly? He looks at every meltdown, every shout, every reaction from DS2 as a direct act of defiance.
This afternoon he started shouting because DS2 was disassembling markers at the table, when they were colouring with them. (Yes, the colouring was my idea - some days I feel like I have to tie the proverbial pork chop around the boys' necks to get DH to spend time with them) So I pointed out calmly to DS2 that if he took the marker apart, he couldn't use it anymore. Problem solved. How hard is that, really?
I truly hate having these ongoing pissing matches in the house.....
Doesn't it just make you think "why does he need to make it such a battle?" DH, I mean. He was getting all aggravated because the boys would have coloured marker marks on their fingers. So what? Don't most children?!
God, I could have started this thread myself tonight. Big problem in our house is dp making totally unrealistic threats. This afternoon when I was trying to get ds to do his homework it was "Do it, or you're going up to bed" which I had to put the mockers on straight away. He also tells ds if he doesn't behave his toys are going back to the shop. Another problem is they rough and tumble all the time then dp complains when ds takes it too far. And another one is walking away when ds plays up, leaving me to deal with it.
Sorry for the hijack <takes deep breath> Rant over.
It's as if he's got to win at all costs!!! I think he's having difficulty understanding that it's not always defiance or naughtiness but that there's generally a reason for what she's doing! The fact that we don't have a diagnosis so have had no support or advice doesn't help with the change of mindset either as well as her being defiant to whoever she perceives as being in charge so he gets the nasty comments and defiant behaviour more than I do and I think he takes it personally
The mad thing is that he's the one who went on the parenting course cos I had to work! Think I might get the folder out & leave it lying round as a hint.
Best bit was tonight when I was giving ds his bath & he kept dropping his toys over the side. Said to him "you do that again & I'm not getting it back". The inevitable happens & I'm thinking 'ok, I'm following through on this' then in saunters dp & gives the toy back to ds with a "there you go mate". And he wonders why ds takes turns asking us for stuff when he gets a 'no'