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Pre-school not doing 1:1 on first day. What do I do?

(34 Posts)
smugtandemfeederispissedoff Fri 09-Sep-11 09:14:04

DS had his first day at preschool today. He has been in the holiday club which is much more relaxed and is in a different class with different teachers. I took him this morning and he was upset that he would not be with the teacher he has a close bond. He will be having lunch in a big school hall instead of a packed lunch in preschool. He will be having a swimming lesson with goggles he is scared of.

I asked why they werent doing 1:1 and they said they werent doing it until his CAF meeting when they find out what help he needs. I pointed out that I was the only person going to the CAF meeting so they could ask me now if they wanted to.

The most important day for him to have 1:1 is today!!! They didnt even allocate a key worker. Just left him looking confused and anxious and very lost. They have obviously decided he has nothing wrong with him and doesnt need any help. They are being paid to do 1:1.

What do I do?

Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego Fri 09-Sep-11 09:20:36

A swimming lesson on the first day...... shock....... at 3???

I absolutely agree with you that the first day is the most important day as many of the children will never have spent any time away from the children. If they know that your child has SN, or are they still not accepting that he has SN?

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Fri 09-Sep-11 09:24:50

I dont think they are accepting it. Despite me taking in all the evidence from the psychiatrist and other childminder. DS has enjoyed the holiday club and been ultra compliant. He is still however very anxious. Holding in poos. Hit another child last week who hit him (not documented) and says he does not want to go.

Yes swimming on the first day! Its a fancy preschool! Very rigid, lots of rules which he likes.

I know what help he needs. He needs support in unfamiliar situations to know what is expected of him.

Why oh why didnt I turn straight round and take him home again.

I have emailed the Area SENco as they are supposed to be paying the preschool extra for 1:1 so unless they said dont give it to him they are paying for nothing.

The preschool think they know better than me.

Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego Fri 09-Sep-11 09:28:40

What will happen if he isn't supported Smug? Will he behave in a way which will quickly mean that they realise that he needs 1:1?

Why oh why didnt I turn straight round and take him home again.
Because you know that people are blaming you for not giving him a chance in formal education (obviously know that's not the case).

coff33pot Fri 09-Sep-11 09:58:47

Aww smug poor mite sad

When is your CAF meeting? cant someone else come along with you?

All schools think they know better than Mum you are not alone there! See what response you get from the senco with regards to them being paid for it.

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Fri 09-Sep-11 10:55:33

He will just be very withdrawn and anxious. it won't be obvious. I'm not totally sure what he'll do. I've been protecting him. I know what he would do at home (go nuts) at childminder (become withdrawn) but preschool is a bit untested.

justaboutstillhere Fri 09-Sep-11 11:07:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego Fri 09-Sep-11 11:11:53

Do you think that it is worth just trying without the 1:1 so that you know exactly how he reacts without, so that the 1:1 can be completely justified IYSWIM? If being withdrawn means that he won't participate and then won't learn, then you have another reason in your armoury. At the moment, you don't know really how he will react at pre-school. It could be better or it could be a lot worse than you expect and it sounds like you need actuals to be able to back up your statementing request from your previous experience. Hope you don't think I'm speaking out of turn.

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Fri 09-Sep-11 11:42:14

You are probably entirely right. I just wish he had had proper help today. Evidence vs motherly instinct. I can never quite resolve that one.

justaboutstillhere Fri 09-Sep-11 12:55:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lisad123 Fri 09-Sep-11 14:36:52

I should point out that your CAF may be rejected. The idea of a CAF is to bring professionals together do work isn't repeated and give all professionals the same information. As you said there is only you and preschool attending who is lead professional? Who is registering the CAF?

Personally I would ask for everything in writing.
As for paid 1-1 I would check facts. Dd2 was given 1-1 hours funded by LA but we weren't told till later it doesn't have to be spent on 1-1 of child. They take the hour towards meetings, paperwork, report writing and group work.

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Fri 09-Sep-11 18:09:02

Lisa, my HV is coming to the CAF, and so is my sure start play worker and preschool so slight exageration to say no one coming. Childminder, paed, area senco, LA inclusion officer, ed psych not coming. Its been rearranged once already.

I think I have a letter from Area SENco which confirms 1:1. Will check.

DS was fine when I picked him up. They said he had been telling them all morning he didnt want to do swimming but apparently was fine when they actually went swimming.

I think I really need an Ed Psych to assess him (one that I trust) to tell me why DS is so upset about school when he is at home. To tell me how his disability affects him at home. I think that means saving up and paying or trying to get legal aid and doing it as part of tribunal process.

PipinJo Fri 09-Sep-11 18:12:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Fri 09-Sep-11 18:14:44


PipinJo Fri 09-Sep-11 18:41:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Fri 09-Sep-11 18:48:06

Pippin - I have applied for a statement but they refused to assess. I have filled in the tribunal forms - just got the paperwork back from them. Can everyone get legal aid or is it dependent on parents situation? Where do I start?

PipinJo Fri 09-Sep-11 20:53:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lougle Fri 09-Sep-11 21:06:04

Smug, regardless of what the SENCO says, the vast majority of SEN funding in the Pre-school sector is 'Inclusion Allowance'. It is colloquially known as 1:1 funding, but the money is NOT earmarked for 1:1 exclusively.

The money is 'inclusion funding'. That means that if the child needs 1:1, they can have it, but the amount of funding will not pay for a 1:1, so it is at the discretion of the pre-school to top it up. The way it worked in DD1's area, was that her session cost £8.75, and the 'Inclusion funding' matched it. So, the setting got an extra £3 per hour for DD. But that doesn't cover a preschool worker at £6.57 per hour for her, so they had to top up.

If they didn't think DD1 needed 1:1, they could have spent the money on training, SALT resources, etc. Alternatively, they could, say, pool the inclusion funding for 3 children and employ an extra member of staff between them, for example.

My instinct would be to let it go for now, but make sure they give you good feedback.

An example:

DD1 had 1:1. One day, it occured to me that I had been signing the accident book almost every day for the last week. Odd. I mentioned it to a friend who worked at the setting and she said 'ahh...have they not spoken to you yet?'

It turns out the Supervisor had decided not to give DD1 1:1 during free-play. Hence the string of accidents. When I went in to discuss it, I simply said 'I'm concerned that DD1 is having a lot of accidents lately, is there a problem I should know about?' She then revealed what I already knew, admitted that it was her idea, it hadn't worked, and assured me that she would return to 1:1.

The net result, was that she proved DD1's need far better than I could have done by just complaining. Of course, I speak from the POV that DD1 didn't have serious accidents, just bumps and bruises. I may have felt differently had it been a broken leg.

tiredoffightingwithjelly Fri 09-Sep-11 22:43:37

Sadly lac of appropriate provision in my child's pre-school led to hospital admission and unnecessary invasive testing (including a lumber puncture) as the pre-school did not share what really happened and so concussion was not felt to be the cause of his presentation. My child has physical difficulties but I think the lack of appropriate 1:1 support in pre-school is dangerous in some instances given my child's experience. The LA did nothing except quickly issue a statement dating it for the day before the incident!

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Sat 10-Sep-11 21:48:09

All I know is that DS is entitled to 15 hours free preschool but they said if he only went for 7.5 hours they would divert the funding for the other 7.5 hours to pay for 1:1.

I dont exactly know what DSs needs are as he has only just started there. I just know I felt much happier when I thought he had 1:1. He is only three and he has such bad anxiety, he spends so much time saying he doesnt want to go, its really hard to keep smiling, keep pretending he isnt telling me he doesnt want to go. He must be upset about something. I know he hates uncertainty and not knowing what to do. He hates new unfamiliar situations. My little three year old - who they promised me 1:1 with - is not getting 1:1.

I know I need to get over it and grow a thicker skin but its just not grown yet and I have this bloody CAF meeting which the preschool clearly intend to turn up to and argue with me about whether or not DS needs any assistance. I feel angry already and im not even in the room.

utah Sat 10-Sep-11 22:02:48

Whoever they are that promised the 1:1 are taking the P, if your child needs extra funding which he obviously does his hours should not be reduced he is basically paying for his own 1:1. Stay strong

smugtandemfeederispissedoff Sat 10-Sep-11 22:05:17

Yes, so he is paying for his own 1:1 and not even getting it.... So confused, yet again. Discussing it with DH and trying to agree how to approach it at CAF.

lisad123 Sat 10-Sep-11 22:11:46

thats a crock!! he is entitled to his 15 hours same as every other child, if he required 1-1 thats the nurseries job to find funding!

justaboutstillhere Sat 10-Sep-11 23:03:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cat64 Sat 10-Sep-11 23:30:57

Message withdrawn

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