I have the psychiatrist coming to my home tonight. This is after a few really bad meetings and 10 years worth of crap where I insisted I want to keep well out of it all. The social worker was with us at a hospital appointment the other day and reassured me he had something decent to say so stick with him if no one else. I'm now just thinking I don't want to be here and wondering if I shouldn't be in when he arrives. She also told me to do a few notes including Q's and gave me examples but I haven't done it, just kept thinking whats the point. I'm sorry if this sounds like I don't care or can't be bothered, I just could really do with a break from it all. Thanks rant over x
I think you have to be in. But if you truly truly don't want to go through with it, either phone up and cancel, or if you can't, open the door and explain on the doorstep that it isn't a good time for you right now and you'll contact him to rearrange.
We all have our 'what's the point?' moments. Our sons are the same age, I think, and mine also has very challenging behaviour and I have also had my times of thinking that meetings aren't worth my time and that I just want to get out of 'the system'.
BUT (2 buts) 1) Things don't improve by just doing more of the same that you've been doing at home, and how will things change if nobody else is involved? You'll keep doing the same thing that isn't working and your son won't move forward, get into school, get out of the house.
2) By persevering with the 'services' and the meetings, I now probably end up with 2 productive meetings out of 3. I make sure that I have my mental agenda of what I want to happen or what I want people to do or I have a problem that I want others to work towards solving with me.
By keeping going, even when my trust in the people involved was v v low, I have ended up with the most amazing advice from a replacement CAMHS psychiatrist, who knows us and our situation and gives me the best advice of everyone in our life so far. She has helped me make so many changes to our life that have helped me and my son. If I'd cut off from everyone, I would never have had that advice.
I know it's not that you can't be bothered. I think you've gone into hibernate mode but also ostrich mode and maybe you just have to fight yourself to stay involved with people, even if they only might be able to help - because your son does need his life to change and maybe someone will be able to help with that.
He was coming out to discuss the meeting in school on the 15th which myself or the SW hasn't been invited to!
starlight I done it alone until dh finished work and came home from the docs appointment he had. The psyc has always visited us at home.
Sorry big headed moment, but I was really pleased with myself. It was a well balanced, calm, proportioned meeting.
He had also witnessed me under a bit of pressure, with ds, dd and carer all making demands while letting him in. So he would of noticed not much fazes me.
Although no further forward a lot of areas were discussed. However still no plans to get ds into school.
The psyc is also after something he doesn't think is available. Instead of the home tutor coming for 30 mins 4 days per week, he wants his education at home 5 full days per week with support from a psyc.
He also managed to get a few of ds's views about school.
He's going to chat to the SW today and take it from there (I think).
Plus he's arranging another meeting.
So although everything is still up in the air, I do feel we progressed.
interesting idea - would be fab if he could get teachers who were appropriately trained and had the resources to suit your ds rather than trying to deliver a traditional lesson in the home (which is my experience of home tuition)