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Splitting up with H, son has HFA, advice needed

(4 Posts)
smurfling Mon 29-Aug-11 22:38:42

I so didn't want it to end up here but I think we have reached the end of the road.

Myself and h are splitting up but I want it to have the least possible impact on my son (5). He has High functioning autism. I will need to find a new house, and support us & I've no idea if we will get housing let alone if it will be near his school (and full time LSA), will this have any bearing on if/where they house us?

I'd really appreciate any input from anyone who has been through anything simialr. I'm so lost at the moment.

smugtandemfeeder Tue 30-Aug-11 07:48:23

Sorry you are going through this. The pressure on you must be immense. I don't have any direct experience but hopefully someone else will be along soon to offer some practical answers. you must be immense. I don't have any direct experience but hopefully someone else will be along soon to offer some practical answers.

coff33pot Tue 30-Aug-11 17:10:22

I dont have any experience in what happens if you move areas with regards to support either but didnt want to just ignore your post. Sorry you are having such a difficult time.

Ring councils, housing associations and put your name on whatever list they have. Also make them aware that your DS is autistic and that could well speed you up a waiting list. If you move out of an area perhaps transport could be arranged to take your son to his present school until another suitable school is arranged. I know you can ask about this perhaps someone will reply here to the ins and outs of applying.

Best thing to do is not to let your DS see you stressed and that you appear to have it all in control (even if you dont smile) Talk with your DH on a proper plan of action ie. whats happening with dad, what days will I see him, holidays etc. New home, new bedroom, give him the job of designing his room to occupy him during the wait of moving so he can picture this room in his head and not be nervous of the change. Best talk to him together as a family so he can see that even though you are parting he still does have a family unit.

unpa1dcar3r Tue 30-Aug-11 18:30:59

Smurfling, I too am going through the same thing at the moment (my decision). Except it is him moving out to a rented flat nr by. Can you not get yours to move out to save any unnecessary stress on your son?
My boys are SLD and lack any sort of real understanding so we've just said it's cos daddy snores and needs to be closer to work, but I suppose if your son is HF you wouldn't get away with something so basic.
Is your relationship still amicable with ex? Will he still spend lots of time with your son?
I will fight to keep our seperation friendly and I think we'll always be friends anyway, just, like you have come to the end of a long road and it's been a long time coming.
It must be this way for the childrens sakes. Only their feelings really matter.
It is difficult for all involved but try to keep his routine going and explain things as much as he wants to know, ensuring he knows daddy still loves him always etc...

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