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Advice on how to ditch a professional!

(15 Posts)
Chundle Wed 24-Aug-11 21:52:34

hi all to cut long story short(ish) dd2s pyshologist is shit, she gives me crap advice and lies in reports! Anyway dd2 does not have a dx which is why we are seeing profs. Im due to see pysch on 6 sept at home and really don't want to she makes me feel constantly like a crap parent. We do see a paed about dds development whO is very good.

How can I successfully ditch this psych (only one in CDC so can't see another) without too much hag in case she needs to assess dd in future?? She said she will continue to see dd until her anxiety eases, however I don't want to say her anxiety is fine when it's not sad

I really dislike this woman and she has made me try things I know aren't right for dd

lisad123 Wed 24-Aug-11 21:56:56

is it your issue with her or is it causing harm to dd?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Wed 24-Aug-11 22:23:37

What things has the psychologist made you try that you 'know aren't right for dd' and what happened when you tried them?

Can you give examples of her 'crap advice', 'lies in reports', and how she has made you feel like a 'crap parent'?

AlysWho Wed 24-Aug-11 22:29:36

Dont ditch her- there could well be reprecusions, esp if she is on the MDT that dx. You really dont want to come across as being obstructive (save that til you really need it!) Just avoid her like the plague! Sweetly. Apologise profusley for having to cancel her appt and willingly agree for another to be sent out, carry on infinitum! If your having a 'good day' and feel up to it, then see her and humor her. Work with them until you get what you need, this way you stay in control..Trust your instincts x

Chundle Wed 24-Aug-11 22:47:51

Alys thanks that's good advice.

Izzy don't really want to go into it I'm exhausted and it will out me, was just after some general advice.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 24-Aug-11 23:01:07

Can you get a private EP assessment, then this EP won't be able to assess formally for a year or at least 6 months.

BakeliteBelle Wed 24-Aug-11 23:05:41

Can you find any other parents to compare notes with on this? It can make you feel very vulnerable when it is your word against a professional as they have much more power and there are some less than helpful professionals out there as well as the good ones.

You may well find that this psychologist has the same effect on other parents. If nothing else, it could confirm that you aren't going mad and you are not alone.

It's a shame if you have to play the game just to get help, but perhaps Alys is right.

zzzzz Wed 24-Aug-11 23:38:04

I don't think you should refuse to see her at all. I think if the advice she has given you is inappropriate for your daughter you should discuss this with her and hear what she has to say. You never know she may come up with something that does help, if she understands how it went wrong before. If you feel she lied misrepresented dd in a report for goodness sakes say so. Talking to her face to face is the best way to get his sorted out.
I find most professionals have at least one piece of useful information [even if it is actually they know nothing so you can stop expecting any help].

If your daughter needs psychiatric help and this is the only help available, then I would take it. Having said that you can always say no to what she suggests, but get the information first and get that report corrected.

It is perfectly reasonable to not want to see someone who makes you feel crap....but not necessarily sensible to allow those feelings to rule your behaviour. If you really think the whole thing is a waste of time and you can do better without her, then I think you need to make a clear rational decision not to depend on psychiatric help and to rely on yourselves. If that is the case then just phone/write and tell her that is what you are doing and why. You will then be free as a bird and never have to see her again.

Chundle Thu 25-Aug-11 07:22:13

Zzzz great advice thanks.

Starlight if a private pysch assesses can an NHS one not assess for a certain amount of time then??

bake yep I knew parents at CDC who felt the same! So not just me

IndigoBell Thu 25-Aug-11 11:29:17

Chundle - I think starlight is talking about an educational psychology assessment - and you are talking about clinical psychology and ongoing treatment / therapy?????????

IndigoBell Thu 25-Aug-11 11:29:45

However if you really don't want to ever see her again, I guess you could say you're going to a private clinical psychologist.......

lisad123 Thu 25-Aug-11 11:35:38

I have seen a few of your treads, and ime your best to work with them and ride it out. If they think that you are trying to avoid working with them they will certainly see this as a negative and may cause you
More trouble and delay help for dd.
Ask her for guidelines of times as all work with children is meant to be measurable and time limited now grin

BakeliteBelle Thu 25-Aug-11 11:39:03

How difficult for the parents not having any choice. See this psych or none at all! I think there should be an alternative if you really feel this professional has poor skills and is doing more harm than good.

We had a psych who was initially quite hard to work with, mainly because she wasn't very experienced and she pissed other parents off too. However, like a wine, she has improved with time and she has softened towards us as her confidence grew. Some of their poor practice is down to lack of skills and I am afraid it is a classic CAMHS tactic to automatically blame parents for any failings. It dates back from old psychiatric practice where the parents were blamed for the psychiatric illnesses of their children.

I agree that you should talk to her directly about your issues with her, but I would advise that you have support at any meetings with her. Do you have a DP/friend who could attend too? It can help to to have another pair of ears

cansu Thu 25-Aug-11 11:55:39

I had a similar problem with a psychologist. I decided to ask a professional I did like for help. She managed to sideline her (get rid of her) by suggesting that it was better for psych to leave it to her to support us as she was already familiar with our ds. The psych discharged us and I have never seen her since. Perhaps you can get someone you are comfortable with to be around at the appointment, at the very least get someone else to be there. I would also say that if you don't trust her or she makes you feel like crap, say yes I will definitely try that / what a great idea and then when asked about it simply say what a shame but that didn't seem to work with ds etc. I feel for you, life's hard enough without having to worry about someone like this.

Chundle Thu 25-Aug-11 16:38:25

Hi all sorry been out all day.
Indigo yes it is clinical pysch.
We are due to start portage in sept and she's lovely so maybe just having portage will satisfy the pysch that her services at this moment in time are not required smile

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