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saw paediatrician today as confimed r suspicions that dd1 has developmental dyspraxia! any advice re bad tantrums

(18 Posts)
tinkbig Tue 23-Aug-11 17:59:33


any advice please

re -

she has really bad tantrums - doesnt listen to no and hits!!

she cant switch her brain off at night

any tips welcome

mrsbaffled Tue 23-Aug-11 19:23:57

oooh - interested in tips for not switching off at night - this is a real problem for my DS too...
tink I have relied on your other thread....

Chummybud1 Tue 23-Aug-11 19:52:38

My son is the same, spends hours wandering around and fidgeting. No advice though

moosemama Wed 24-Aug-11 12:56:18

Tink, have you tried relaxation? Amazon do some nice bedtime meditation cds for children and I know these have worked for some children.

With my ds its omega oil that makes the difference. If he doesn't get his omega oils he can be awake for most of the night. We nearly ran out a couple of weeks ago, so had to half the dose until the next lot arrived and almost as soon as he stopped taking the full dose he was awake for hours after he went to bed and back to waking several times a night. We upped his dosage back to the full dose as soon as the new pills arrived and within a couple of days he was sleeping normally. Not sure if this is extra effective for him though, as he's vegetarian, so doesn't get many omega fatty acids through his normal diet.

I think some people on here use epsom salt baths as well - hopefully someone who knows more about it will be along soon.

As for the tantrums and hitting, we have a zero tolerance to any hitting/hurting and its an immediate punishment. He is removed from the situation and put on his own to calm down, then loses his DS time for that day. There is absolutely no point trying to reason with him when he's like that, as he's just not in control. We also make sure we talk it out with him afterwards every time and he apologises to whoever he hurt. Fortunately he's not a big hitter - tends to use words to much greater effect. hmm

tinkbig Wed 24-Aug-11 17:21:06

thanku mm that is all very helpful
will give omega 3 a go and cds anything worth a try re sleeping

cheers for advice also re tantrums

LIZS Wed 24-Aug-11 17:26:35

I'm not so sure you can simply assume the tantrums and sleep issues are part of dyspraxia. The times ds has become wound up and angry have largely centred around frustration and anxiety at being forced to do something beyond his comfort zone or misunderstanding but he has calmed down relatively quickly. It does affect chidlren differnetly but did the paed also consider any potential conditions such as asd which can often overlap ?

auntevil Wed 24-Aug-11 17:45:05

Just wondering about sensory issues here. Some brains need different stimulus to help them relax and calm. Me personally (NT I think wink ) I need to do something mentally agile to calm me down - suduko, crosswords etc, something to stop my brain racing through thoughts of the day and focus and be calm. A relaxing bath etc wouldn't do it for me as I would be thinking about the jobs i had downstairs still to do.

moosemama Wed 24-Aug-11 18:14:27

Good points LizS and auntevil.

I guess try the calming approach and if that doesn't seem to be working, think again and try something different?

It might be worth asking her about her bedroom, is the duvet too hot/soft/scratchy etc, is there something else bothering her or making her uncomfortable that might be affecting her ability to fall asleep? After a particularly difficult patch with ds1 not going to sleep until ridiculously late, we discovered there was one particular toy he didn't like 'looking at him'. Darned thing had been in the same position on top of his wardrobe since he was a baby, but it turned out he wouldn't take his eyes off it in case it moved! We took it out of his room and it did help - still didn't go to sleep as easily as an NT child, but seemed much more relaxed and willing to stay in his bed and rest at least and that did result in him falling asleep earlier than he was when it was in the room.

madwomanintheattic Wed 24-Aug-11 19:14:27

how old is she? mine always appreciate the routine of school terms tbh. long holidays make everybody a bit crazier than normal. (dd2 ended up having a bath at midnight last night as she'd been scratching, pawing, mauling and whining for hours). it didn't help that we've had visitors for 9 weeks that eventually left yesterday, so she was out of whack anyway. she's been wobblier than usual for a couple of days though, but i think we're over this week's hump now!

if all else fails, some gps will trial melatonin, but usually for other dx tbh.

we're trialling the epsom salts with ds1, but he's... well... a law to himself really. <sigh>

the toy thing is so true, moose. dd2 will suddenly take exception to sometimng that has been a part of her life for nigh on 8 years.

moosemama Wed 24-Aug-11 19:52:59

Conversely, my ds won't let us redecorate his bedroom, because the wall decals we put up when he was two are what he focuses on to try and fall asleep. Unfortunately, he shares a bedroom with his younger brother - who is seven and wholeheartedly unimpressed about still having the Bang-on-the-Door alphabet around the top of his bedroom walls!

Ds1 has been really wobbly this week as well, he's upsetting everyone - even his little sister who he normally adores. Think we are winding up for the full on meltdown about going back to school. <<wibble>>

mrsbaffled Wed 24-Aug-11 20:09:56

I am intrigued about the Epsom salts bath - what is this meant to do? How much would I add etc?

moosemama Wed 24-Aug-11 20:27:47

Some info on it here. I have thought about trying it a few times with ds1 but never got around to it.

I have googled to try and find out if it can have any adverse effects and not found much except you should limit it to 2 cups of salts and a 20 minute soak.

madwomanintheattic Wed 24-Aug-11 20:57:12

lol moose - i have a 7yo that slept in the dark until she was 3 and spent the weekend with my blardy mother, and since then has screamed the house down in abject terror if there isn't a night light <power cuts are a joy> and an 11yo who has to share the room with her who can't sleep unless it is pitch black with not a chink of light anywhere. as she's the nt one, she gets to wear a mask to bed and suck it up... grin <those airline eye masks are dead handy, i tell you>

i can't wait for school. just hope it goes smoothly as everyone is going somewhere new this year <breathes calmly and chants>

tinkbig Wed 24-Aug-11 21:15:25


dd1 always comes downstairs and says that she cant get to sleep
seems to prefer sleeping in our bed which is next to the loundge guess she feels comforted by the sound of us and the tv
she hates loud noises so if she hears anything outside her bedroom window like a car moving hates it. she has a velux window, if it rains hates it so sleeps in the loundge
she has a sleeping bag which she likes under the duvet and a fleece

have ordered through amazon - childrens bedtime relaxing cd, headphones and omega 3 tablets will give it a go

tinkbig Wed 24-Aug-11 21:17:47

liz - dd1 switches from and angel when i collect her from school to a devil by the time we get to the car
when we r in the house she asks for things and if she doesnt get them goes on and on and on then starts tantruming and hitting

moosemama Wed 24-Aug-11 21:39:21

Madwoman - your girls sound like me and my sister. I have to have the curtains shut tight - to the point of being crossed over each other to make sure there are no gaps. She has to sleep with the curtains open, so she can see the sky! Made for lots of arguments when we were young and shared a bedroom. grin

Interesting about the effect noise has on her Tink. I remember you saying before that she can't stand the sound of rain on the velux. Did the paed even discuss the possibility of ASD/Aspergers with your dh at all? I'm not saying that she has it, just that - as LizS said, some of the things you've mentioned could hint at something more than dyspraxia on its own. Its quite common for children with Aspergers to hold everything in at school and then let it all out on their family, as well as having problems settling to sleep and a dislike of loud noises. Obviously there's a lot more to it than that, but it might be worth keeping it in mind if things don't improve.

The fact that she likes a sleeping bag under her duvet, plus a fleece suggests that she is sensory seeking and either likes to be hot, or to have pressure on her when she's sleeping. A weighted blanket might be worth a try. I think you can buy them online if you google, but I don't think they're cheap.

Found this place that does them in lots of different styles.

Chundle Wed 24-Aug-11 21:55:35

How old is your child??
My dd2 is 2 today and they think sh has dyspraxia she hasn't slept through since 6 months and she's still wide awake now sad I'm exhausted. She also has bad tantrums

tinkbig Thu 25-Aug-11 10:00:13

she will be 6 on monday

cheers mm grin will hv a peek

i ordered last nite caring cutlery, pencil grips and hand huggers

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