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Its all a matter of perspective.

(10 Posts)
nenevomito Fri 19-Aug-11 15:27:53

So DS was at gym class yesterday and I had a difference in perspective between myself and a couple of the other mums. You see, their conversation went.

"Look at that boy just rolling around on the floor! <name of instructor> won't put up with that for long. She must be busy today as she's ignoring it!>

What I saw was my DS actually having a go at something new without having a complete meltdown and a very good instructor.

I think I am entering into the "acceptance" phase of this whole thing. I've done the denial and anger and I still have a bit of the grief knocking about, but have come to see that knowing is a good thing. I don't have to feel mortified by DS's behaviour as I understand why.

.....still wanted to poke them both with a sharp stick, you understand!

IndigoBell Fri 19-Aug-11 15:34:24

An invisible disability is just that - invisible.

They weren't to know.......

Glad that you're feeling better and a bit more accepting.

Maybe next time you'd talk to them and say 'Oh my son has XXXX and he finds YYY really hard. I'm so thrilled with how well he is doing in this gym class'?

saintlyjimjams Fri 19-Aug-11 15:37:04

But don't feel you have to educate. Life became a lot easier when I decided to no longer bother trying to explain (unless someone asks).

nenevomito Fri 19-Aug-11 15:44:17

Strangely it used to upset me more when people used to comment on his behaviour before I knew what was going on as then I just worries about being a crap parent and what I could do to fix it.

Yesterday, when I put what he was doing into ASD terms, he wasn't doing anything that needed excusing.

Besides, the instructor has a reputation for being very no-nonsense, so let them wonder smile

maxsmama Mon 22-Aug-11 14:25:10

babyheave, I know exacttly what you mean about being more upset before you knew and worrying about how to fix it. Was a horrible time. So much better now we understand.

coff33pot Mon 22-Aug-11 15:23:15

Well done babyheave for taking it on the chin and not biting back and nice that your DS is enjoying gym smile

I have learnt to have selective hearing when ppl are critical or questioning of my DS. I have only had one confrontation this year. DS was playing quite happily digging and making furniture on the sand. Another child came up and took his spade out of his hand without asking. DS sat there and screamed and went charging after the kid, rugby tackled him and took the spade back. Child ate sand shall we say.

Mother went nuts and said we (who WE were I have no idea) have seen your DS at school, he shouldnt be allowed near other kids on this beach. My retort would have normally been non too polite blush due to being embarrassed on DS actions. Instead I calmly weighed her up from feet to head and said.....I have spoken to DS and told him it would be better to just ask for the spade back but tell me something..............when are you going to teach your child some manners and walked away.

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 22-Aug-11 16:52:20

Brilliant Babyheave and Coff.

Btw, ds attended a gym class for a short time. What is it about gym instructors that makes them so fabulous? One mum complained that my ds hurt hers in a tunnel and his reply was simply that body awareness was part of the course. grin

Davros Mon 22-Aug-11 16:57:31

I remember reaching this stage when we were sitting outside a local cafe on a dull day as DS liked to rip up paper napkins and it was OK outside. We collected up all the bits of course. A waitress came out to serve us and said "can you stop him doing that?" and I just said calmly and truthfully "no I can't". A friend with me started to explain his ASD and the waitress was embarrassed but I didn't say anything else, he wasn't doing any harm, just bloody stimming!

coff33pot Mon 22-Aug-11 17:21:07

Starlight....I love your gym instructor! grin

Davros..............Tesco Value napkins..........1.25 for 50!!!! grin

Eveiebaby Mon 22-Aug-11 20:10:32

"body awareness was part of the course" - I love it grin

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