Afternoon!
Difficult one to answer when you don't 100% know the situation I know. However, just thought i'd let you know the situation as much as I can and see if any of you can help.
Firstly, I love my dp very much. We've been together 8 years and we've been engaged for most that time. It's one of those "will it ever really happen" kind of engagements.
For as long as I can remember, I felt that we're not right for each other. We're so different. Sense of humour being a big one for me. He very rarely makes me laugh, so when I go out with people who do, it's such a relief, but at the same time said, because i know i'll soon be back to reality where they'll be no laughter atall.
I know he loves me more than anything and would marry me tomorrow, but I keep making excuses such as we have no money, or family issues etc. The truth is I know he's not right for me. We're both firey and volitile people and that obviously clashes and causes some massive rows at times. We argue most days. Not always big arguments, but nevertheless, we do.
I meet other men all the time and think they're better suited for me. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true.
The reason I think I haven't left before is because our 4 year old dd is very likely on the autistic spectrum and i'm not sure how she'd cope. She loves her daddy very much and her face lights up every night when he comes home. No matter what kind of day we've had. He's her hero really. The problem is, he's not mine. That's the first time i've put it in those words before and although it's choked me a little, I think i've hit the nail on the head.
So am I being selfish even considering leaving? It would crush our daughter and she wouldn't know if she were coming or going. She's just about to start full time at school too.
Also, I couldn't bear to think that she might one day have a step mum. I know i wouldn't be the nicest of ex partners in that circumstance.
Please someone shed some light. Has anyone else been in this situation? What should I do? I've never said this to anyone. Not even my best friends because I know they'd just tell me to leave if I weren't happy, but they dont' understand the SN situation like you mumsnetters.
Thanks for reading. Appreciate any feedback
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Should I leave my DP? Or am I just being selfish? Advice please.
7 replies
makemineaquadruple · 18/08/2011 16:58
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