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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.


(12 Posts)
devientenigma Wed 17-Aug-11 15:36:01

to not go to any more meetings in regards to my ds. They are conflicting, argumentative and quite frankly not helpful. I come home upset as we are not getting anywhere with any of his problems and could do without listening to all these different interpretations of my ds.

IndigoBell Wed 17-Aug-11 16:05:55


YANBU - but whether or not it's the right thing to do I have no idea.


looneytoons Wed 17-Aug-11 16:10:02

I know how you feel but if you dont go they will put you down as a mother who doesnt care what happens to her child.

streakybacon Wed 17-Aug-11 16:19:24

It's depressing, isn't it?

I have to admit to being utterly relieved when CAMHs and other services closed ds's case because it meant I was finally free of the game-playing, box-ticking farce that is the SN system, and even more so when we pulled out of school. It's still bloody hard work but at least I don't have to answer to anyone any more or take their pretentious, lying bullshit.

Feel for you, devient, but looneytunes is right - while you're in the system you do have to play the game or you'll be black-marked. Have a glass or two tonight and on with the fight again tomorrow.

auntevil Wed 17-Aug-11 16:22:52

YANBU to think that you invest time, effort and energy in preparing, organising attending and being at these meetings for very little outcome. If it were a business, you would have broken off contact long ago. It's not though, and I always think that one of these days someone is going to say just that 1 thing that makes a huge difference to someone that i love beyond belief - which is why i go.

coff33pot Wed 17-Aug-11 16:46:46

YANBU in the slightest [smle]

I am becoming quite proffessional in ticking boxes without touching the sides grin

It is a nightmare and disheartening at times and the repetition of previous history is frustrating to say the least.

But we have to do it for our DCs.....if we give in then nothing will get done. I shout at my wall a lot its got broad shoulders grin

Chundle Wed 17-Aug-11 18:01:46

YANBU you and me alike! I see one prof who says one thing and another prof that says something different. My dd is only 2 an I've had enough of the SN system already!

devientenigma Wed 17-Aug-11 18:46:54

thanks everyone, loony I have since informed the social worker of my decision who is in agreement with the way I am feeling and why. She will not let anyone say I am not supportive etc.
lol chundle I have to agree by 2yo I was sick, I just don't know how or why I have continued on for another 8 year, I just can't do it anymore!!
Hey streaky how can I get everyone to close the case on my ds??
and aunt I think we've been in the red on our business for way too many years!!
Indigo yes I feel sad and blue but my headache is now taking over.
and coffee how do you become professional in ticking boxes without touching the sides??

coff33pot Wed 17-Aug-11 19:05:55

devient ahhh well its like this..........when I am stressed on the phone or ds is throwing a wobbly or I am thinking.........I draw boxes, lots and lots of small boxes....then I fill them in with crosses....then I colour the triangles of the crosses in and I start again. It keeps me focused on the actual call, convo or train of thought so I dont stray off with other things that are going on or get ratty.

Now.........these bloody forms are a nightmare and I cant do them and draw boxes grin soooooooooo to stop me from basically making a paper plane out of them I concentrate drawing the ticks just sooooo not touching the sides and each one directly under the other. Sounds daft probably lol but if I dont I just get stressed out repeating myself all the time and then get mad that why cant they all (proffessionals) just club together and share the info!!!

Yes I am officially potty................but just look at it as if someone is just tapping their foot or a pen on the desk grin

devientenigma Wed 17-Aug-11 21:19:28

haha coffee maybe you need another wine

boldbanana Wed 17-Aug-11 23:02:15

I think the solution is to try to make the meetings more purposeful and focused on getting somewhere with your ds rather than not attending them if he's still not leaving the house to go to school or accessing anything like that. I think we all hate the meetings but just not going or not being involved with any services will not make the problem go away. I think sometimes we have to do stuff that makes us feel shit and judged as parents (and even stuff that seems poinltess) to try to move our children on and get help for them.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 17-Aug-11 23:08:10

Don't refuse to go to meetings, just refuse to go to meetings without an agenda and defined outcomes.

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