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DD2 tried to push me down the stairs :(

(7 Posts)
lisad123 Wed 10-Aug-11 22:50:09

Shes nearly 4 years old, and has a dx of autism. The school holidays are causing no end of trouble and shes highly stressed and her behaviour is so much worse than normal.
Today was the biggest meltdown ever. We were at local musuem doing weaving in top room. She decided she wanted to pretend to be a cat (what she does when she is stress is pretend to be an animal), but the trouble is there wasnt a large amount of space and I couldnt have her crawling about the floor.
She went crazy and so I took her outside in the hall, and she just went crazy. She was hitting me, scratching me and screaming at me that she wanted me to "go away from me".
I just sat there and waited but everyone was staring and very blush Nomally I do just let her scream it out and leave her to calm down before trying to talk, but 95% of it is indoors. I never had to deal with this in a public space in such a small space, I didnt know what to do. It was made worse by the fact I had dd1 with me too who also has autism and was half way though her weaving when this kickied off but she was so good (luckly for me) but felt so sad for her too.

I picked dd2 up grabbed our stuff and dd1 and went into the large garden. DD2 ran off, laid on a bench and after 5 mins was calm enough to talk to.

So I guess Im just ranting but wondering if anyone has a hint or two.

Oh and I hate school holidays sad

lisad123 Wed 10-Aug-11 23:49:06

should have said this all happened at top of stairs

sadalot Wed 10-Aug-11 23:54:25

my dd1 has asd and she goes to playscheme two days of the week - this helps her boredom and calms her down -but her asd is mainly about her speech
sorry i can't be of any more help
does she have a fav toy that can calm her down -my dd1 loves pengiuns

frizzcat Thu 11-Aug-11 00:20:25

Hi lisad123 - don't have a quick fix for temper tantrum, but another stress outlet for her might be the way forward. So if you are at home and you spot the behaviour give her something she enjoys to play with for about 10mins (set a timer) - in my house this is ds nintendo or a game on the iPhone. I don't mean that I am rewarding inappropriate behaviour - but I spot the signs of stress and defuse it quickly with something ds likes. Obviously the distraction needs to be portable so you can take it outside with you. I also find that doing small multiple activities during the day helps with the boredom - so morning will be the park, mid morning reading and then something else in the afternoon - equally small but just as long as we are out a couple of times then ds is happy. Ds is 6 and I rarely have to use iPhones or ds nintendo now. I am new on here so I do hope you find this helpful and I'm not giving you bad advice!

lisad123 Thu 11-Aug-11 08:55:55

thanks, we hadnt been there very long but it was clear the room wasnt right as she had her hands over her ears quickly.We do have alot of activities planned over the summer because otherwise the two girls fight.
DD2 is off to her SN school today (they open for 3 weeks over summer to keep routines as much as possible) so Im hoping she can burn off the stress there.
Me and DD1 are off with her little friend to paint pots, so hoping for a nice calm afternoon grin

Marne Thu 11-Aug-11 09:24:38

We had a similar problem with dd2 at a party the other weekend, she started shouting at me to 'go home', i took her into the loo's as i was getting upset at everyone staring, she then screamed and begged to go home, by then i was in tears too as she was so distressed, managed to walk back through the hall with her and take her outside where she soon calmed down. With dd2 its all down to sound in the room and too many things going on, we can't really do anything in musuems or halls (big echoy rooms) she just holds her ears and asks to 'go home', she now refusses her ear deffenders (which used to help), i often have to leave dd1 to sort out dd2 and i feel guilty even though dd1 is very understanding, at christmas i had to leave dd1 in church with another mum (someone i didn't know) as dd2 couldn't handle it and i had to phone dh to come and get her and wait outside until he go there (as dd2 refussed to go back in).

Dd2 has been worse sinse breaking up for school and its become hard to find activites that are outside and not too busy (she likes the beach or the park) and it often feels like dd1 is being left out.

Hope todays a better day for you, both my dd's love painting pots although dd2 seems to finish quite quickly and dd1 takes her time smile. We are trying to stay in this week as we have a trip out planned next week (which will be expensive).

stickyj Thu 11-Aug-11 17:33:17

Hi don't know where you are but am doing music sessions for the next three weeks until school starts. I have spaces available and would be glad to do a session for you, if it's not too loud! I have actually achieved what i set out to do over the holidays, which was make my rent for the building I use, so am happy to offer free sessions. I use Makaton signing and have disabled access, there are also disabled toilet etc where I am. Let me know if I can help. This actually applies to anyone else too, if you're in the West Midlands.

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