i have let dd suffer

[davidsotherhalf]

dd has never been able to chew meat etc, she always said it hurts to chew, i took her to the doctor who said it's her teeth, took her to the dentist who said it wasn't her teeth, went on like this for years, doctor eventually told me it's part of dd asd textures of food etc, i believed this and when dd complained about pain in her mouth i would put it down to asd problems.
we moved county about 2yrs ago and dd hadn't seen a dentist in this area as she was too scared as last dentist shouted at us for keep taking her back when she was in pain, dd was in pain and i took her to the dentist yesterday, the dentist said teeth are fine but took x-ray, and did a test on dd jaw, they said dd has a major problem with her jaw bones and needs to be refered to specialist, i feel so guilty as i have left dd in pain for 14 yrs.

[ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin]

You did not ignore the problem and leave her in pain for years. You sought help from professionals about the pain and they failed to identify the cause.
You were given a reasonable explanation by the doctor, it just wasn't the right one.
I am dental phobic because of having been treated badly as a child, and your first dentist sounds dreadful. You are still doing the best you can for your daughter, and now you have got someone who appears to know what they are doing. Will the treatment solve the problem?
You sound like a good and loving parent to me.

[davidsotherhalf]

we don't know what the treatment will be yet, dentist said it's been left too long and dd might have to have series of operations, but we have to wait to see specialist.

[ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin]

Good luck, but don't blame yourself. You have no grounds for guilt.

[coff33pot]

You are not to blame for your DDs pain. The proffessionals you took her to are for not investigating further.

Dont be hard on yourself as this really is not your fault

Now the reason has been found they can hopefully sort it all out for her x

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

What a nightmare. I know you can't help but feel guilty, but you know it's not really your fault. I hope things can be improved for your DD. I'm sure it's common for DC with SN to have lots of other issues put down to their SN when it may have a completely different cause. Sounds like you're in the hands of a much better dentist now.

[AlysWho]

You have not let her suffer!Please dont feel guilty. She's suffered because of her disabilities, the impact of her asd on her communication skills, and because of what sound like incompetent proffesionals.
This is a worry for me aswell, my dd is also 14 and has NEVER let a dentist see her teeth, has very limited brushing due to sensory issues and not her not cooperating. She has a SN dentist, is in SS, and has lots of support to try and address this issue, but no success yet.