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pregnant :0

(13 Posts)
loobywhitwell Sat 30-Jul-11 23:00:23

Found out 2 days ago, i'm pregnant with no.3. shock Ds 1 is 4 with asd, ds2 has been reffered to paed with development delay & autistic traits.

Just having a panic about how we will cope & manage financially. I will probably have 3 kids in nappies. Also worried as ASD runs in my family.

It turns out we concieved the day of ds1's diagnosis. Stressful day, head was all over the place & a few drinks blush

i know i have been stupid & will have to pay the price.

Anyone any advice x

nadia77 Sat 30-Jul-11 23:08:49

dont worry everything will be fine take each day as it comes. you really need to look after yourself at the moment.

zzzzz Sat 30-Jul-11 23:11:15


I have 5, 2 with sn, it is busy but lovely. Try not to worry about what might happen, just love the little life you have growing inside you. I had 3 in nappies for 3 years, it was a shocker but is easier now. We are just coming out the other side with our last our of nappies at Easter.

How is dh coping withthe news?

EllenJaneisnotmyname Sat 30-Jul-11 23:40:32

((((hugs)))) <you can get away with them here!>

I've got 3, only one with DX ASD. I wouldn't be without them now, but it's no picnic. Who knows what the future will bring, but you will cope.

loobywhitwell Sun 31-Jul-11 00:42:20

Thanks forur lovely messages guys.

Dh has been very quiet, but doesnt seem too bothered tbh.

Im blaming him a bit ( bit daft i know, as i could of said no at the time, ortaken something afterwards. A bit TMI, but we agreed to stop at a certain point, but he took it all the way blush

I suppose we have been caught out & are worried how friends and family will react. Just feel so sick at the mo.

He was made redundant at easter & we are on benefits. I just feel everything is a mess atm


coff33pot Sun 31-Jul-11 00:55:08

Everything happens for a reason smile

I have 3 children with big age gaps in between due to not being so lucky to conceive and losing one baby. My youngest is the only one being assessed with AS and if I wasnt such and oldie grin I wouldnt hesitate having another but it takes me too long.

How you feel about it is important not what family members feel. They dont live your do smile

Your DH was made redundant which is a great shame. But that doesnt need to stop you living and having a lovely family. Lots of people have been made redundant its the sign of the times at the moment. Something will come up one day. Just enjoy each other and your new gift inside you and forget all the what ifs for now x

someoneoutthere Sun 31-Jul-11 08:00:59

ok, I have nothing to back up my claim apart from my belief, I have two. DS is older and asd, dd is NT. We were trying to have babies at the time DS was conceived and I was so worried about not being pregnant after couple of months, lets put it this way that love was not a part of conceiving. Whereas with DD, it was all love as we were being a bit stupid like you. So my point is, when there was so much love at the time of conceiving, it's unlikely to have too much male hormone that causes autism smile. Here you go, my theory on how to avoid autism grin.

blueShark Sun 31-Jul-11 09:41:12

I am due any day now with number 3 - wasn't planned, at least not now smile and found out when I was 8 weeks pg and the panic lasted for few secs when I thought its all for a reason, was meant to start working full time meaning less time to work with DS1 SN, employing the nanny that my 2 kids didn't warm up to during the one month trial....I am so looking forward raising number 3 and spending more time with family.

Congratulations on the news, it is a shock but a nice one. Finance can be an issue when you have a Sn child and need to pay for most therapies privately but dont forget children are the biggest wealth...!

Triggles Sun 31-Jul-11 11:13:27

We have 4 total - 3 NT, 1 ASD/ADHD, although we also have a huge gap between DD and DS2 (20 years) so we didn't have 3 in nappies. We do currently have 2 in nappies at night, just one in nappies during the day.

It all sorts itself out, I think. You have the whole pregnancy to get used to the idea. Congratulations and best of luck!

glimmer Sun 31-Jul-11 13:25:12

Also expecting no 3 but very different story.... I would start eating folic acid
in a high dose. There was a study in California that showed there there is an effect on taking folic acid pre-conception on autism. Other than tha - all the best!

Choccyhol10 Sun 31-Jul-11 14:14:52

My first had ASD/ complex needs. I was worried that the second would also have ASD. A girl so the risks were lower. I went on a diet from the pre-conception charity (foresight): lots of vits and minerals plus other stuff. I wanted to eliminate any environmental effects. However, as we don't know the cause and there is a huge genetic element to it... I think it helped she is NT - who knows? It gave me some sense of control and something I could do. But, I think what will be will be, really.

This may be tactless, I don't know. But it is very hard having that number of little ones in nappies and so on. But, you will also have that number to support and help your ASD child when they're big enough. It may turn out to be VERY positive for you and I really hope it does.

Don't blame yourself. We all do things which with hindsight we wish we hadn't. What's wrong with having a few drinks and whatever else came afterwards. Try and enjoy.

Triggles Sun 31-Jul-11 15:56:49

Glimmer - it's so hard to tell though - so many things saying "autism could be caused by this..." or "autism could be caused by this..." I had folic acid (actually higher dose as recommended by GP) for almost a year prior to getting pregnant with DS2, and voila! ASD & ADHD. Same thing for DS3 and NT.

To pardon a gambling expression.... it just seems like a crap shoot to me. Until they know for sure, you can only take normal precautions and hope for the best.

mariamagdalena Mon 01-Aug-11 00:25:06

Ahhh. A new little looby. We have 3 and though its a nightmare at times , dc3 makes us all smile so much he's like prozac in human form. Mine aren't multiples but because dc1 is so like dc2 developmentally, I used to nick my twin mum friend's TAMBA magazine grin and her book about extreme motherhood, the triplet diaries. How can you say you're stupid. It's human nature to reproduce, every bit of our biology and psychology is set to make family planning 'fail' once we've got a fair chance of managing to raise another dc. Or else we'd evolve ourselves out of existence.

Tbh, developmentally, as they get older they may all like the same stuff at the same times. asd dc1 and traits dc2 and (hopefully) dc3 NT or just enough traits to do well in life wink. Benefits / no money not ideal, though having dh at home for a bit may be an advantage. Are you eligible for maternity allowance? If not, when dh is working again, it's worth claiming carers allowance. And if you don't have dla for both dc try to get the cerebra guide online and apply, cos it isn't meanstested. if you ring the dla helpline fir the firm they backdate the payment to the day you called.

Though changing three sets of nappies in a small loo when out may be a bit of a disaster. Make sure you get a RADAR key! And the mountain twin buggy takes bigger kids plus can take a triplet baby attachment, or a scooter that converts to a buggyboard. I've heard of family fund contributing. School nurse or health visitor will know about free Nhs nappies. Local college might lend you a childcare student for their work experience placement.

You never know, the baby may teach dc1 a bit of eye contact and empathy (mine did) wink

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