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I am at the end of my tether

(6 Posts)
Hellishday Wed 27-Jul-11 20:51:56

i have name changed as dd looks on mn.
Dd is nearly 15with severe OCD which is not responding to cbt.
We are going on holiday at the weekend, by plane, to a place she's been before. We had no holiday last year as the previous 2 holidays were a nightmare.
I have sensed her unease over the last couple of weeks.
She has just had total meltdown, and is refusing to go. She is worried about being ill/sick.
I am just sitting here in shock.
I feel really stressed with it all....skin breaking out, headaches all day.
I can't force her on a plane......do I abandon my holiday and let dh take ds?
( all that money.......)
I know she will have to go back to the dr and we are going to have to up her treatment, possibly the Priory.
I really feel for her...she has such a shit life.
But I just don't know what to do.

TooJung Wed 27-Jul-11 21:15:12

Why not have a peaceful time with her at home and let the others go off for an adventure? We have separate holidays. Stressy holidays are overrated! Do nice things together which you actually enjoy, they don't have to be special... Building up trust is a good thing.

I have been filled with fear about holidays, not good at all. It doesn't add up, being forced to do something which my parents or husband deems great and I have no control over at all.

Claw3 Wed 27-Jul-11 21:18:42

Have you tried explaining to your dd what would happen if she is ill or sick? Perhaps a plan of what would happen?

Ds suffers with severe anxiety and its the not knowing, the unexpecting that gets him really stressed.

Claw3 Wed 27-Jul-11 21:19:04

unexpected rather!

Hellishday Wed 27-Jul-11 21:30:31

Toojung...we did this last year which worked well, and quite frankly I'm all for them!
She was adamant that she wanted to go away this year with us, but I think next year we will knock the happy family holiday scenario on the head.
I get anxious about holidays tbh....hate the packing, all the responsibility.
She has various strategies from the cbt regarding sickness, but they just aren't helping at the moment.

Claw3 Wed 27-Jul-11 21:42:31

Doesnt cbt usually mean your dd tries to deal with her anxieties on her own?

Going on holiday is quite a big stress, perhaps she needs a bit of help with it?

A holiday strategy of exactly what she can do, if she is ill or sick?

I know it sounds obvious to us, but anything like ds, he takes things very literally, a strategy he uses at home, he wouldnt think to transfer to a different situation or place iyswim

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