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Such a bloody shame

(18 Posts)
insanityscatching Tue 26-Jul-11 07:27:48

Ds really struggles to speak unless it's football spiel where he basically repeats lots of football statistics and dresses it up as conversation then a stuttered yes/no or most likely don't know (because he doesn't have to elaborate) is the best we get.
He does email to ask questions which is hugely useful and finds it better if we respond by email because he understands better then too and occasionally we get a letter like today stuck on the bedroom door.
These letters are beautifully written, he has a way with words and so insightful of his own difficulties and how we handle them.
I could cry because this beautifully eloquent young man must be so frustrated that he can't hold a simple conversation.
Today's letter talks of his plans to finish his book (yes he's writing a book) and pondering how to get it published and things that bring tears.
Not sure what else to say but Fucking Autism sad

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 26-Jul-11 08:59:54

I'll join you in this one. Not quite to the same extent, but DS2 has always hated, hated writing. When he was 8 we got him an Alphasmart (word processor thingy) to use at school and to play with at home. At first the novelty of a new toy meant that everything went into it, stories, plays, recipes. Suddenly we had this window into his mind and we were amazed at his vocabulary and imagination. Unfortunately the novelty wore off and he sees it as work again. We have never had a conversation where he tells us anything beyond his most basic needs or his latest obsession. It was wonderful while it lasted. sad Fucking autism, too right.

insanityscatching Tue 26-Jul-11 09:17:47

It's absolutely dreadful isn't it Ellen? I find it so difficult to comprehend that these letters come from the boy we see in front of us.His writing shows such maturity and depth that it's hard to reconcile with the boy that functions like a pre schooler in so many ways.Even the actual writing which is very immature bears no relation to the content.
It must be torture to have all that inside and not be able to use it mustn't it?Some days I hate it with a passion for him sad

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 26-Jul-11 09:43:46

He sounds like an amazing young man, insanity. He has that need to communicate and he's found his method. I suppose it's good that it's writing, which is very accessible, rather than signing or PECS, which in a different life might have been your lot. It's just not very social...

I comfort myself that my DS2 is happy not communicating, it's me that wants to see into his mind. He's sat next to me, playing on his iPod, fingers entwined in my hair as usual. I've just been asking him if he'd like to write down on his Alphasmart any questions he might have. He looked at me astonished and said 'No, of course not!' grin

zzzzz Tue 26-Jul-11 10:14:21

JUst because you can't see a butterfly doesn't make it any less beautiful or miraculous, less wanted or loved by you or by God.

Honk honk, I am feeling sad aboutit all today too. I miss my boy and I have never really seen him. sad

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 26-Jul-11 10:23:22

We all just get the occasional glimpse, zzzzz, and have to be thankful for that. Honk.

insanityscatching Tue 26-Jul-11 10:52:50

Yes too true, Honk here as well.

coff33pot Tue 26-Jul-11 11:32:47

Insanity he has a special gift of writing and that is wonderful. Should he travel the path of writing books then through that he will be known. People will learn the real DS from inside through his books and he will be valued as an author for it. It is good that he can express himself that way xx

Each autistic child on this earth has a valuable contribution to our world inside them.

My DS is stuck rigid in an obssession with guns. killing games he calls them. I have tried to get him to say cowboys and indians, soldiers, ben10 rescues the world game. Just to give it a title like all his other peers. He just puts his head on one side and just says "mum they use guns and guns kill so it is a killing game. It puts peers off playing and makes adults/school think he is a phsyco waiting to happen.

Inside I got a real boy who cries and runs to my purse if he sees an advert for a child without water. Rushes to take the donation bags from the letterbox and is the first to find a toy to put in it or a book. So much so that I have to have a stock of old books to put in them as he wont let a bag go empty. And talks endlessly asking when are they coming to get the sack because someone needs help. Thats not a psychopath is it?

But in real life he uses his obsession to shut down and be safe. It is sad but at least I know the real boy would help the world if he can and maybe one day he will.

merlincat Tue 26-Jul-11 12:08:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chundle Tue 26-Jul-11 12:32:46

All us mumsnetters will be first inqueue to buy his book when it's published! I'm sure he's very talented

coff33pot Tue 26-Jul-11 12:38:10

What is your DS writing about insanityscatching? smile

purplepidjin Tue 26-Jul-11 12:54:54

Honk honk to those that need it.

Insanity, does he have a blog? That would be fascinating reading, and free publishing for him.

Could he turn his hand to script-writing, perhaps? Role-play is a good technique for learning how to handle new situations, perhaps he could write a play and you could all act it out - but make it about his feelings?

drivemecrazy63 Tue 26-Jul-11 12:56:05

just feeling tearfull and need to HONK x

insanityscatching Tue 26-Jul-11 16:46:01

His book is a futuristic novel set in another world. He's been having art lessons from his favourite TA (who's also an art teacher) so that he can draw the characters and settings because he likes something tangible to work from.
School taught him to write stories by giving him pictures of characters and settings because he needs visual prompts.
For his novel he had the characters and the setting and a plot in his head but wanted pictures so his TA has given him art lessons and now he can draw what he needs to use for his book.
He has worked like a trojan for more than a year hand writing it, editing it and then putting it on word as well as doing the illustrations so that he can work from them.
I suppose the single minded determination is down to the autism. He is about 70% through now so he expects it to be ready by the end of the year.We will get it published for him and who knows if he's any good he might just have found a way to earn his own money smile

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 26-Jul-11 17:16:00

Brilliant, insanity. Put me down for a first edition! Sci fi/fantasy has always been my favourite. (Quelle surprise!)

coff33pot Tue 26-Jul-11 17:29:14

That makes two of us then please! I am sure my DS would like me reading it to him smile AND let me know when you get the book published. I have a tiny shop and I dont mind putting a couple in it grin

merlincat Tue 26-Jul-11 19:04:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purplepidjin Tue 26-Jul-11 20:51:29

I'll have a copy!

Would the NAS sell it to raise funds? Would he be happy for that to happen? Then he'd be in print, and it would be a huge boost for the second one when he comes to getting an agent etc...

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