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terrible day with ds1 today :(

(6 Posts)
thisisyesterday Sun 24-Jul-11 21:06:51

I get so frustrated with him sometimes. he has asperger's/hfa and obviously struggles socially.
we were at a fun day for his new school today and he went into a complete meltdown over this other boy and his friends.

i took him to calm down. he hit and kicked and struggled, he called me names, said he wished i didn't live with him any more, said it was all my fault etc etc

i KNOW I need to stay calm with him, but after about 20 minutes of trying to get him to calm down (including just leaving him in the car to settle down by himself) I just lost it. When he screamed and cried that everyone hates him and he has no friends I told him I wasn't surprised, if that's how he treats them

god, i feel so awful. so, so, so terrible. how could i say that to him? he is only 6 sad i just want to cry now.

you know when people say stupid things like you're only given a child you can cope with, or that you have a child with special needs cos "god" (or whoever) knows you can cope with them? well i can't!
i am a shit mum to a child with asd.

mompa Sun 24-Jul-11 21:18:15

Please dont feel bad. We all have our breaking points. I have beloowed at my DS who is also ASD on occaision too. You are not a shit Mum- you would not feel bad if you were. You are just feeling your DS's pain. Tomorrow will be better. I always find those "fun" days are never fun at all. Be kind to yourself. It is very hard some days x

VJay Sun 24-Jul-11 21:18:40

You are not a shit mum. You know how they say that whatever a nt child experiences and feels then times it by 10, 20, 100'etc and that is what an asd child feels. I think this is also the same for their parents relating to the asd too.
Some days can be really tough, especially when in public, I feel for you.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Sun 24-Jul-11 21:26:09

We've all shouted at our DC and later regretted it. Really don't worry, at least you are feeling bad about it! grin Children need to understand that everyone feels angry sometimes, even mums. Apologise to him if you want and suggest that he should apologise to you for his words.

thisisyesterday Sun 24-Jul-11 21:26:25

thanks both. i just feel like I need endless reserves of patience and I just don't have it right now.
I also have a 3yr old and a 2yr old and between the 3 of them i'm run ragged. <sigh>

i just feel so awful that when he was upset I made it worse. I knew it was the wrong way to react to him but I did it anyway.

coff33pot Sun 24-Jul-11 21:49:53

awww xxxx You are having a day like I had two days ago! I actually called my DS stupid and I know just how guilt eats at you.

You are not a shit mum. You are a mum with her hands full with 3 children all with demands of their own. And we all lose patience. I have twipmce in two days. Today I have worked all day from 6am and come home at and DH did a roast dinner. I went up stairs and just had to clean out ALL DS bedroom due to DH not noticing that he got hold of water and tissue from the bathroom and has a right old time in his bedroom all over his bed and under it and in his clothes drawers. He had got hold of a clean nappy and soaked it and you know what the gel is like! it gets everywhere. I marched downstairs and told DH dont cook dinner if you can watch DS at the same time, I would rather not eat sad None of it was DH fault and DS was oblivious to it because it must have happened hours ago and DH said he was good as gold all day. I had taken my frustrations out on DH this time sad

It happens .........we are human xxx

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