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ASD: Good bits, bad bits.

(19 Posts)
merlincat Fri 22-Jul-11 11:04:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sickofsocalledexperts Fri 22-Jul-11 11:30:08

My boy (autistic) has no spite, envy , bullying, ego, sarcasm, snobbery - some of the less attractive characteristics of the nf world! He is endlessly happy with just a spoon and bit of plastic to bang together. He is smiley and loving all the time, and there are no narky little moods like my other kids (though I realise perhaps some of that might change in the teen years!).

I would send back the lack of proper speech, complete lack of ability to make friends with other kids, and the learning disability.

LeninGrad Fri 22-Jul-11 11:31:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

graciousenid Fri 22-Jul-11 12:44:21

It's hard to say what is ASD & what is personality iykwim?

Keep - memory, originality & imagination, honesty & lack of guile, 'purity' of his emotions, lack of manipulation, determination, happiness

Life would be far easier without - language issues, dyspraxia

graciousenid Fri 22-Jul-11 12:47:20

and food issues argh ... on a day to day basis it is those that cause most difficulty & impact (e.g. major problems toilet training as a knock on effect) sad

tabulahrasa Fri 22-Jul-11 13:14:56

I find it hard to seperate what's the AS and what's his personality too

I like that he's honest, does what he's supposed to - even though they can cause problems, they're quite nice traits for a teenager to have, lol.

I love that he doesn't care what other people think about him, but at the same time I do wish he did a bit, it would make life so much easier for him at school.

I wish he could make friends easier sad

We could both live without the fine motor control problems as well.

BabeRuthless Fri 22-Jul-11 15:08:37

I love the fact that he looks at the world in a totally different way. He sees so many things that I don't even if it is mostly manhole and drainage covers smile I also love that he's very pure at heart and like another poster said doesnt have a nasty streak.

I would send back the hitting himself, the screaming & when he gets upset and wants "to hide". Breaks my heart sad

coff33pot Fri 22-Jul-11 20:24:07

I would keep the loving side the need for cuddles and warmth. Also his curiousness of the world around him and the indepth convos we have and his wonderful memory and trust of his family.

I would like to throw away the agressivenes, rage and frustration and his endless obsession with guns that ppl misinterpret. The anxious moments, the tics and the impulsiveness so that he could go out to play and make friends easily sad

pigletmania Fri 22-Jul-11 20:44:56

My dd 4 (possible ASD), social communication difficulties, speech and lang developmental delay, emotional delay. Well I would keep so many things. DD has no nasty bone in her body, she is so innocent, lovely, kind, shares really well, she is not self aware, so would not realise if she was the only one not invited to a party, nor would she care, nasty words would just go right through her, as she just does not understand or comprehend them. She is not spiteful, nasty, not two face. She is just gorgeous.

What would I take back. Her lack of conversation, and ability to speak socially. Her defiance to do what she wants to do, and poor concentration. Her emotional delay which means that she can at times communicate by crying like a baby instead of using speech, and gets distressed sometimes when asked to do something different. Her lack of complex thinking.

blueShark Fri 22-Jul-11 21:35:24

piglet has perfectly described my DS 5 and listed all the things I would keep and trade. If I may add I'd like to keep his gorgeous smile and perfectly shaped face and athlete body. I am sure girls will be queuing up despite of his social difficulties smile

pigletmania Fri 22-Jul-11 23:22:56

Awww blueshark I expect that they will grin.

pigletmania Fri 22-Jul-11 23:24:54

I meant her inability to do social speak and the normal conversations that nt children of 4 years do.

pigletmania Fri 22-Jul-11 23:30:34

No why! buy why! There is no, Mum (inserts complicated question and descriptions of stuff) Mum why hasent't Jo Bloggs invited me to his party, when all the other class are going? Mum Jane thinks that I am a baby, but I am not, I am a big girl, I am 4.There is no Mum I am feeling sad, nobody likes me and wants to play with me. Someone comes and snatches toy or tries to hit dd, dd just sits there and lets them and says nothing.

Well they can also be positives too, so a double edged sword.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay Fri 22-Jul-11 23:49:10

I love my son's absolute purity of soul. He can't lie, he accepts everyone as they are, he is happy with small things, he isn't materialistic, he is caring in his unique autistic way.

But I'd take away his anxiety, his vulnerability , and his inability to fit in our world without judgement.

nadia77 Sat 23-Jul-11 00:06:46

not sure of the as traits but i see my ds as individual! yes i know he has asd but he has his own beautiful ways of communicationg, getting attention endless kisses and smiles and cuddles he gives to me and everyone else at nursery! to be honest he's most perfect ds i would like him to develop further speaking for starters! rather then singing all day! our children are so unique and smart i mean put your self in a room where you cant use eye communication,speech,actions and think how would you get your message accross? but our children manage this millions of times a day!

merlincat Sat 23-Jul-11 10:21:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nadia77 Sat 23-Jul-11 10:52:01

thank you merlincat i think due to education (statement) and all the professionals involved we are too busy identifying the strengths and weaknesses we forget our dc have their own beautiful personalities.

Ineedalife Sat 23-Jul-11 19:42:27

I would keep, the uniqueness of Dd3 and her constant singing [even though it drives me mad some days], her love of being out doors in big open spaces, her smile, memory and intelligence.

I would get rid of her confusion in social situations, her dyspraxic tendancies, her difficulties with sharing and her problems with her siblings.

She is an amazing little girl who since being at her new school is gradually returning to her real selfsmile.

mumslife Sun 24-Jul-11 22:32:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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