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toilet training need some help/advice

(5 Posts)
seannos Thu 21-Jul-11 11:14:20


I'm looking for some toilet training advice.

DS is 4yrs 9 mths. ASD, non verbal & mode/sev? learning disability. We started toilet training 5 weeks ago. Using a timer to bring every 55 mins. Also PEC board to allow requesting.

DS has learnt to wee on toilet immediately when he's there to access high reinforcer (DVD). He ends up in the bathroom by being brought, sometimes by PEC'ing (5/6 times a day) and sometime as a result of an accident. Pec'ing is weakish - it would be a result of me as asking DS 'what do you want' and presenting a choice of say 4 items. Does show some good decision making - not picking toilet sometimes, sometime picking toilet and then going for wee on being brought to toilet. Also incidents of not pecing for toilet and then having an accident 2 minutes later.

We started training he would hold wees for a long time and if there was an accident it would be a flood. He also took a few mins before after being brought to toilet before he would wee on toilet.

Now (the last week /10 days) he will wee immediately on being brought to toilet (which is great he can release at will). But he is having lots of smaller accidents - maybe 4 a day. Maybe 10 a day! (on a particular day when he also had 16 successes in the toilet). These accidents are small - not a flood on the floor. Could be damp pants or damp pants and trousers.

Gross motor skills are not good enough to allow independently going to toilet - would not be able to pull down pants, sit down and then pull pants back up.

No poo accidents since we started toileting - all have gone in the toilet.

Pull up at night. Never has pull up on during the day - always pants.

We had a sensor from tinkle toonze (US website) which alarmed on weeing in pants but it broke down. very p'd off as they are not responding to my emails on a replacement - the alarm meant we would spot an accident straight away and bring to bathroom and say 'wees go in the toilet'. Any knowledge of a similar more reliable sensor would be great (goes in pants and plays a tune when you wee pants - alerts us to accident straight away)

Just looking for some views:
- how are we doing compared to your experiences? Does this sort of pattern eventually get there in the end?
-any ideas on what we could do to improve? Or should we just keep doing what we're doing?

It is very very intense but I am willing to keep at it if we are eventually going to get somewhere. Am very down about progress some days and other days think ds is great.

-how long might this all take - months/years?

Tahnks for your help.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Thu 21-Jul-11 13:15:00

Sorry not much help as my DS was wee trained very quickly but still has poo accidents at age 11. Just wanted to say that an alarm that plays a nice sound or even an unpleasant sound when wet would be very counter-productive for my DS. He would see it as a reward for an 'accident,' so maybe better that it has broken?

zzzzz Thu 21-Jul-11 14:05:38

Is he shaking after wards? Perhaps some of the damp accidents are actually he hasn't quite finnished.

I think you are doing well and that you are making huge progress. It's a question of just keeping on going.

We are now at the point where ds is independant for pees but needs help with the wipe for a poo and often needs his clothes straightened afterwards. [very weak hands]. Summer is your friend from the point of veiw of clothes and diy as you can put him in toweling/soft shorts and pants that can just be pulled up and down. I did hand over hand for this and he is getting really quite good at it.

Can your son sing/hum? Something I do which helps is sing the same tune during different activities, it seems to focus the mind and is better than some things when he is going in public toilets.

ds is 6 now and started a week before he was 4. He is very good and doesn't really need much more prompting/help than the average 4 year old now, which is great as far as I am concerned. We have had one accident since Christmas, and I imagine he will be totally independant by the end of the summer holidays.

Keep at, you need to look back at what it was like,

sickofsocalledexperts Thu 21-Jul-11 15:53:32

My boy very simiilar diagnosis to yours and I am think you are doing really well too. In fact I am amazed how you have cracked the poo and most of the wee so well already. There is no substitute, ime, for just carrying on plugging away at that last 20%, taking him up there, getting him to request, asking him what he wants. Then one day, it just seems to click. Probably 6 months after you wished it would, but nevertheless it happens. And once it does, I think they are many autisitc kids can be very reliable as my boy absolutely will not wee or poo anywhere except on the loo (a problem when out in the park etc and no loos around, but still).

The only tip I would have if I were doing it again today is to start introducing him to the idea of toilet paper in his own hand. Not necessarily doing his own wiping yet, but showing him the theory of tearing paper etc. I left that bit too late. But keep at it. I remember feeling like I had spent the whole of one year either in the bathroom saying "do wee wee " or outside manically shouting "good boy, do poo!!!". What glamorous lives we lead!

seannos Mon 25-Jul-11 10:05:19

Thanks for the posts. It helps to know other people's experiences.

The weekend was very up and down again. Fri a mixed day. Sat dry all day. Pec'd for toilet a few times whn asked 'what do you want' and also took himeself to toilet 4 times. Seemed very aare of toileting needs. pants and truousers fully fully dry all day. Sunday a disastor. 16 wees in the toilet. 7 wees in pants (sometimes 5 mins after wee in toilet). Usually small accidents but requiring a trousers change but not a puddle on the floor. Also 3 poos (2 in toilet, 1 in pants - first soiling accdient for him) - usually has only 1 or zero poos a day so this was unusual for him.

DS seems unaware of the wee accidents. Then would sometimes get v upset when brough to toilet - I think he is getting very frustrated.

Don't fully understand how he could be dry all day one day (which means has the potential to toilet train) and then wet 7 times the next day (which means we are functionally a very long way away from being toilet trained and that we will have to live in the bathroom/house for the next year)

Again any ideas comments approciated

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