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Professionals causing anxiety

(8 Posts)
Jerbil Wed 20-Jul-11 23:07:59

Just wondered if anyone else has been in the situation I've been in today where professionals have asked if MY anxiety could be rubbing off on my DS? Well, yes, most probably, but the anxiety doesn't stem from my DS's needs, more the campaign for help that has caused my anxiety. anyone else feel like that? doubt i'm alone!

hannahsmummsy Wed 20-Jul-11 23:24:02

no your not , i have the notes of a school meeting , apparently my anxieties rub off on dd , i make her ill , funny now the school holidays are here shes as happy as larry and guess what so am i that i dont have to send her to the hell hole masqurading as an educational facility.

working9while5 Thu 21-Jul-11 08:08:33

I would be inclined to agree 100% with them and say:
"yes, my anxiety IS rubbing off on my DS, I'm so glad you've noticed that because now you have a duty of care to help address that by doing your job and helping my ds so I am less anxious! What will happen when you deal with my son's difficulty in a productive way will be that my anxiety will lessen so let's get cracking!"

And smile.

cory Thu 21-Jul-11 08:12:20

yes yes yes. standard fare. present school are fine, but every new medical professional does, in a kind of Pavlovian reaction: you turn up with a child with certain problems and they instantly start salivating ideas of overanxious mothers (funny how noone worries about overanxious fathers)

have finally got to the stage (after 7 years) where I am beginning to find a certain perverse pleasure in undermining new health professionals' preconceptions of what a mother of SN children should look like, through my eminent reasonableness. though it does help that dd is of an age and a type of SN where she can speak for herself.

MissKittyEliza Thu 21-Jul-11 09:22:12

Oh, poor you. It's such a battle.....of course you're going to have anxiety!!! Sometimes, these professionals are eejits.

I do get it, all the time, from my ex husband who is ds's dad. Ds now ten yrs old so ex has been telling me it's ME, for nigh on ten sodding years. He's a git. Psychiatrist has written a letter for ds travelling (use at the airport/on the plane etc) but ex husband thinks it's not necessary. So, ds will have massive anxiety when he returns from his one week holiday with daddy!!

Ds has ASD, OCD, Tourettes.

Jerbil Thu 21-Jul-11 20:42:10

oh, wow. Yes, DS's Dad has his good point but recognising special needs is not his forte. Says he's soft etc. then will give in totally to one of DS's little ways which totally conflicts with what he's just said.

had a great chat with an Ed Psych tonight who told me that schools just don't always notice things and she has restored some sanity (what's left of it).

Think some professionals see it as their mission to prove u wrong as a parent. Not good really, shouldn't we be working together?

coff33pot Thu 21-Jul-11 20:54:04

working9while5 I love the reply! Just might remember that one grin

oh yesssssssss. I just give them a long stare now and just say whats the next question please? grin

Aero Thu 21-Jul-11 21:12:11

Yes - totally. Deputy HT said it about me. Errrr - I think I have every right to be worried as dd is not making any progress!! Grrrr! I complained because I only found out about this comment when I asked for dd's school records!

Tribunal panels are familiar with this type of statement though and are well enough informed to put people who make this type of comment in their place I believe! It would be un-natural if any parent in this position were not worried/anxious!!

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