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help i have cocked up big time

(3 Posts)
hannahsmummsy Fri 15-Jul-11 16:57:58

I am a single parent , I have asd , after a long battle I got a really good carer and social worker this has worked well for 7 years . my dd has social needs , she is great with adults/ younger kids but cant seem to interact with her peers. have had long battle with school to get her needs met ,she is on a foundation course with with one teacher to 3 kids for 7 hrs week which she loves , but gets no help in other lessons / break times , anyway applied stat asses turned down appeal pending . she also was struck down with a mystery joint illness last winter , that resulted in lots of trips to a and e , this raised suspisions of social services. she was eventually diagnosed and is getting treatment but now makes so much fuss with any illness i end up seeking med treatment, then rasing suspisions . any way im exasted and asked for carers assesment anyway they said she wasnt disabaled and i lost it and stood in the traffic in the middle of night. no body reaLized as i came in and realized my stupidity . i told social services now in getting parenting assesment. I just felt desperate , my social worker has been supportive and says im good parent , but its out of her hand as she an adult social worker . i feet suicidal because im fed up of having asd and want to be normal and i blame myself for dd being ill (shes suicidal and under chams) i tried so hard to be a good mum , shes all i ever wanted , i love her but i wonder if she would be better off in care . dad is shit let his gf verbaly abuse her and left her tramatied,works but dosent pay maintenance.i feel guitly as she gets dla but if social services say shes not disab does that mean she not entiteld (i have used it to buy special shoes she need glasses , heating clubs etc). im also woried they may say my carer isnt working and take her away.. she helps me shop cook etc i couldent cope with out her . oh dear i have cocked up bigtime is it time to throw the towel in ????

EllenJaneisnotmyname Fri 15-Jul-11 17:41:34

Oh dear, hannahsmummy. I'm sure you are a great mum, you feel it all so much because you care and that's really important. What do you really want? To be able to look after your DD and yourself with some support? That sounds like a very reasonable ambition.

I've no idea how to advise you because I don't have the experience, but I hope some others will know what you should do. Do you have anyone to support you, family or friends? Always come on here to rant or for hand holding. ((((hugs))))

hannahsmummsy Fri 15-Jul-11 18:11:06

i have a brilliant carer , i suppose all i want is for dd to get help at school and this will relive stress at home . i guess there will be people out there who think people like me shouldent have kids. but i hope people on here with kids with asd will get hope from the fact i have coped up until now and that parent hood isnt impossible with support . i suppose i didnt bank on my daughter stuggling as well and it hurts to see her going through what i went through. asd people can not always focus on more than one thing my daughter has always been my maim focus . i have just completed christian studies course and fully passed and have a little cleaning job . i get frustreated i need help , i want to be normal whatever that is

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