Totally stressed out

[asdx2]

The saga with the fight for post 16 provision continues. Ds is permanently off school until that is sorted and although he's being really good I am housebound because he won't leave the house and even if he would I am wary out and about with him on my own because if he wasn't "ok" then there's not much I can do on my own to limit him.
Today I'm at CAMHS to discuss CBT with ds which if I thought was what he needed and I felt I had any spare headspace I'd embrace it. But I'm not convinced it's what he needs and I am definitely not up for taking on more demands coupled with the fact the information suggests family therapy which I am definitely not willing to take part in ((I cope because I don't think or analyse how I feel and I don't want to think about it either with anyone) so it feels like just one more dreaded chore.
I tried to suggest to ds we'd postpone but he wants to go so we will go. He will sit there mute, I'll say I'm unwilling to do any of the family stuff so ds will think I'm putting a spanner in the works but I will support ds regardless.
Why does it all have to be so bloody difficult?

[Claw3]

God, i know the feeling, im just embarking on round 2 after being refused a statement at Tribunal after almost 2 years, its never ending.

CAMHS seem to want to analyse parents first to make sure they are not the cause before they actually get on with it. Ds has now had one to one therapy for about the past 8 months, but only after i had my meetings every 2 weeks first.

What is CBT?

[asdx2]

Cognitive behavioural Therapy which from what I have gathered is analysing your response to situations and then working on altering your reactions.
Think the fact ds doesn't recognise his emotions and is mostly mute will make this unworkable added to the fact he is no longer anxious because he is no longer in school .The majority of his anxiety is down to sensory difficulties anyway so think sensory integration would be far more effective but not offered around here anyway.

[Claw3]

Sounds similar to the therapy that ds is having for anxiety, analysing through play which situations he finds stressful/threatening and giving alternative responses.

Not sure if this is working, as instead of running away and hiding when faced with a situation he finds difficult, he now appears to be hitting out in these situations.

Do you not have sensory trained OT in your area? Any recommendations from OT in your ds's statement?

[Claw3]

Something i did find out which might be helpfu to you, is that if a need for sensory OT has been identified, your borough can fund and therapy is carried out in another borough.

[asdx2]

No waiting a re referral but OT is hard pressed here. If I get him into the Independent Special School though he'd get daily therapy with an OT.

If ds chose to hit instead of running away I'd be thoroughly pissed off tbh as we worked for years for him not to do this.

[Claw3]

CAMHS did warn the school/Tribunal in writing that ds suffers with severe anxiety and at the moment is directing it inwards (self harming) and that if he did not receive the appropriate help in school this would escalate. He appears to have started to direct it outwards, its such a shame and i am extremely pissed off, that it has come to this. But directing it outwards and causing trouble for others, seems to be the only sign of distress some recognise.

Good luck with the special school.

[asdx2]

Well back from the appointment. Anyway, what a waste of time talk about never try to teach your grandmother to suck eggs

I think once she'd advised warnings, routines and timetables and I'd explained we use them successfully and have for thirteen years and that at home ds isn't anxious now as she could see for herself in so far as he put up with her wittering on for a full hour without any protests

She decided that maybe what she was offering at this present time wasn't what ds needed particularly because he isn't at school and won't be for the time being at least anyway and so he isn't in the situation, and won't be ever again if I have my way, that induces such anxiety.

So the appointment is left open for me to take up should we wish at a later date. Well I won't be if she doesn't stop with all the stereotypes and can't come up with something more than what we already do as a matter of course anyway.

Can see though why our CAMHS has a reputation of being pretty useless really if they think advising a parent 13 plus years down the line on pretty basic ASD managing strategies is what's needed.

[Claw3]

Sorry to hear it was a waste of time.

I suppose there are some parents out there who dont know the basics and might need this help. Pretty frustrating for you though.

Can they not offer anything for now?