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Do they ever get excited about birthdays?

(18 Posts)
someoneoutthere Mon 11-Jul-11 05:05:46

Ds is 6 today. He has no clue that it is his birthday. We have been reading books about it for a month now, showing him his previous birthday photos with candles, but no reaction. We took him out over the weekend to celebrate as he has never liked the parties we had for him previously. DH went to work late today so we all can wish him 'happy birthday' at the same time when he was up this morning. He just repeated 'happy birthday' to us. Both DH and I were looking at each other thinking exactly the same thing I am sure that another birthday has come and DS has no idea. Will he ever understand that his birthday is his special day?

Sorry, just feeling a bit down today.

Mitmoo Mon 11-Jul-11 06:57:47

My son understands his birthday but being autistic hates it. He hates not knowing what he is getting, dreading not liking his presents, hates the change in routine. Christmas is the same. Sorry.

someoneoutthere Mon 11-Jul-11 07:32:14

DS loves getting presents, loves opening his presents, not bothered about any change in routines. It's just he does not link birthday's with his own, he understands other people's birthdays and will quite happily sing ' happy birthday' to them.

hotmamalovespavlova Mon 11-Jul-11 08:12:56

It was my dd's 4th birthday yesterday, she wasn't able to anticipate it though enjoyed the presents.
She is fixated on a party which we are having in 2 weeks as place was booked up I even considered holding her birthday off until the day to avoid confusion, and she wouldn't of known but everyone said that was mean.
She has woke up this morning convinced it is her birthday again as the banners are still up when i said no it was yesterday she has proceeded to take me to all three banners up in various places pointed at them and said "look my birthday".

someoneoutthere Mon 11-Jul-11 08:22:57

hotmama, my nt dd also 4 is trying to have a party every day by just going through the numbers, she is already 16 in her books and ready to have a 16th birthday party!! May be the excitement dd shows makes it feel worse that ds is so oblivious to his birthday. This year we are not having a party for him as all the othe years we did and he just played by himself. He does enjoy blowing candles though, so we are having two cakes for him so can do the candles twice.

zzzzz Mon 11-Jul-11 12:32:11

dd [epilepsy 4] and ds [SLI 6] have been having a "birthday" all morning. They both think it is a Birthday every time I make a cake, which is at least once a week, and both had their Birthdays some time ago. hmm

They'll get it when they get it, or perhaps never. It doesn't matter to me really, I just celebrate them being here. I hope they know they are special every day. I do always do the day for the child so ds has had cakes made of piles of biscuits and raisins and dd had a party because she is a social butterfly. All my children have repeated "Happy Birthday" back at some point, and lets face it at Christmas "Happy Christmas" is the correct response.

salus1 Mon 11-Jul-11 13:15:12

ds is 7, he doesn't get excited about his birthday but he does about his present. He always knows what he is getting as he doesn't like surprises. The flip side is that every time he is "naughty" (he isn't being naughty but he is very self critical) he has an outburst that he doesn't deserve his present, In the run up to his birthday he might say this twenty times in a day so it can get a bit draining.

someoneoutthere Mon 11-Jul-11 16:45:27

It's amazing how differently our dc's react. Ds is not at all bothered about surprises, he plays with anything he gets as a present or at least have a go with everything. Ds is not at the stage to even think about whether he deserves a present or not. Come to think about it, the only times ds shows excitement are when he does something he really likes, like a visit to water park always gets him very excited. I don,t think he has ever shown any excitement about any presents, although he likes to open them.

Zzzzzz, I don't know why but it matters to me a lot, I wish for ds to show some excitement, but his language is not advanced enough for him to answer questions like 'what do you want for your birthday'. I guess every time his birthday comes I am reminded about how far he still got to go.

drivemecrazy63 Mon 11-Jul-11 17:07:59

someoneoutthereone thing that might help with the not knowing is to do a social story using pictures perhaps of last year and a list of things that will happen a verticle one may or may not help a bit.
my dc used to be the same have you tried getting a roll of clear cellophane paper, the stuff they put over posh easter eggs and wine? they can see whats inside so not too big a surprise but still get the tearing the paper off the present see this link;

its worth a go.

Ineedalife Mon 11-Jul-11 17:27:14

Dd3 is obsessed with her birthday, she starts planning the next one as soon as one is over!!

She regularly tells us what she has got planned for all her birthdays up to about 18. LOL

She has to go over and over her plans, I guess it is to make sure we know what to do so nothing unexpected happens.

It does drive us all bonkers though.grin

She doesn't really get excited over the presents and rarely asks for anything in particular.

drivemecrazy63 Mon 11-Jul-11 17:40:58

DS is specific about what he wants ive been told for christmas this year he wants a Nintendo 3DS the new 3d one shock so I told DH he had better sell his body grin ive two other dcs to buy for , but i dont hold out much hope of how much DH will get for his bod

Calally Mon 11-Jul-11 18:21:16

Ds is 6 in a few weeks. Just booked to take n 2 friends on a boat trip. Ds has no idea bout his birthday at all, it's the same at Christmas. But loves the presents, n crud when there finished. I wish he could understand more, but it's not the end of the world if he doesn't. Seeing him happy n smiling opening his presents is a joy

pigletmania Mon 11-Jul-11 20:06:03

I have this problem, dd aged 4 (possible ASD) is not fussed about her birthday, hates blowing out candles and singing happy birthday. she does not seem to know what happens on birthdays, that she turns a year older, despite us preparing her.

pigletmania Mon 11-Jul-11 20:06:56

She is starting to like presents though now on her birthday, before he hated them, but on her last one she wanted to open her presents and loved what was inside.

zzzzz Tue 12-Jul-11 01:38:53

I would give him tickets to the water park. My ds couldn't tell me what he wants verbally either.

I think this is more about accepting who they are than the birthday thing. I

someoneoutthere Tue 12-Jul-11 05:01:24

Tickets have no meaning to ds, but he did know he was going to the water park on Saturday. He woke up on Saturday morning and said 'going to the water park', although did not link it to his birthday present. My ds always needs choices to decide what he wants. If you ask him what do you want for your birthday, he can't answer. He does not understand the concept, but if you give him choices, he will pick the one he wants.

Acceptance is not a problem, it's been three years now, he has come a long way since the diagnosis, we have come to terms with too. But sometimes it's hard not to notice the differences and yesterday was one of those days.

someoneoutthere Tue 12-Jul-11 05:03:19

pigletmania, ds always loved presents and blowing candles, but he disappears after that, does not want to have anything to do with the parties anymore. It's a good thing we have dd to entertain the crowd.

someoneoutthere Tue 12-Jul-11 05:08:02

Indeedalife, dd (nt, 4) is also planning all her birthday parties and describes herself as a party girl (smile). Drivemecrazy63, we did social stories with him, but it did not work for his birthday. Social stories worked better for his dentist appointment though, we also did role play for the appointment. May be next time I will try role play as well social stories.

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