Autism and Suicide

[Mitmoo]

My son is 14 and I spend hours supporting him with his obsessions. He loves to fish and play golf, has no friends locally although he has lived here all of his life. The one friend he had moved away, he's happy doing his solitary hobbies though does get very stressed when golfing. He is high functioning.

We've had a few crisis lately, he's gone through years of being bullied at school and I've moved him now to a fanastic school where they really support him. My problem is this, now he has to deal with the normal kind of kids being nasty stuff, not the in your face bullying stuff that he used to, he still can't cope. He's run across a road away from school to call me to come and get him and a couple of weeks luckily he went to a shop that he knows and they let him call me. I'd already got there by the time the school sent a search party out for him and they hadn't let me know, he'd been missing for around half an hour, so not pleased about that at all. He was crying that he wanted to die he couldnt cope and had enough.

But a couple of weeks before, he'd hit back for the first time in his life, I was actually pleased he had stood up for himself, but the school put the two children involved in inclusion. That floored him, he can't seem to integrate though he does have friends at school, he focuses on the ones who don't like him. He's very negative. He wrote the most heartbreaking suicide note that night and tried unbeknown to me to jump out of a window but he couldn't do it.

Sorry for the essay. I support him with his hobbies his fishing his golfing it's all he wants to do, I mediate with the school for him, I've got autism support in our area to go into the school to work with him on coping strategies and have been to CAMHS as he was refusing his meds, back on them now.

What else can I do I am so frightened that he will make a serious attempt and hurt himself or worse. (He hurts his head when stressed and has bitten himself in the past).

Has anyone else been through this, how do you cope?

[cankles]

Sounds extremely stressful Mitmoo.

First of all what medication is your ds on, how long has he been back on it since his refusal? Was it reviewed by CAMHS; was he seen by Psychologist and if so what did he/she suggest regarding his low mood?

[working9while5]

Hi Mitmoo, so sorry to hear you and your ds are going through this.

I work in a secondary setting with kids with high functioning autism.

One of my students accessed long-term psychotherapy for similar issues and it really helped. This was via CAMHs.

There is a section here on High School kids which has books which may be of some use?

I don't know much about many of them, but there are some books that specifically address the issues you've mentioned e.g. "Curiously Social" and "Beyond the Blues". I have used some of the social thinking materials with the kids I work with and they have really responded to the way they are written and have been able to speak about their anxiety etc.

I hope that you find something of use.

[Mitmoo]

He's on Melatonin to help him sleep aripiprazole and flouxetine. I hate him being medicated but I the alternative is worse. He saw his consultant as an emergency the day after the suicide note (heartbreaking) and medication was reviewed then, he has been back on them for five weeks now. He seems to slip from really happy to really low in a heartbeat. He can have the best mum, the best cats, have a fabulous day at school that he has really enjoyed but then if someone is nasty to him it is straight to "I wish I was dead I don't want to be here". Sometimes he's just telling me how low he feels other times he has tried but hasn't been able to go through with it.

He first tried when he was just nine years old!!

When things go well I really emphasise them, remind him of how great he did at a b or c and try to build him up. always have done. Autism support have worked with him to identify his coping strategies, that is always fishing and golfing more obsessions than hobbies to be honest, if he is not doing them he is watching television programmes about them or reading books on them.

Just not sure what else I can do to be honest apart from worry myself sick some days which doesn't help anyone.

[Mitmoo]

Thank you working I'll certainly go back to CAMHS and ask if there is anything else and get those books you have recommended.

[drivemecrazy63]

you have my sympathies as my son has been through a bad spell of self harm as so unhappy at school he was seen by camhs ect, but the thing that really helped was sending him to SS where he quickly for the first time ever fitted in much quicker and actually made a couple of friends plus instead of hating techers actually likes a few of them too he is very negative and SALT are helping him to work on this firstly to begin getting to use less negative language and then to ignore the bad aspects and heighlight the good it seems to be helping so perhaps have a word with SALT , is he under one? if not id deffinately see if you can be referred and see camhs again and tell them its urgent because of his not and they way hes speaking so negative your scared what he will do or if he will run away (let them know he did run away to a shop ect) as the outcome could have been very different.

next as hes high functioning could he join something like sea cdets or air cadets , as they often have a fairly high ammount of kids with SEN and he might enjoy making friends out of school as my ds likes to keep all these things in separate boxes IYSWIM , thw sea cadets do all kinds of sports,and swimming, power boating, kayaking, rowing, and games indoors and out , air rifle shooting, go on trips , camping something for everyone really and best of all its very cheap usually £2 a night the fact that its also structured usually suits dcs with ASD or AS too , just an idea as i think he sounds lonely , although like my ds he actually really enjoys solitute but sometimes too much is a bad thing. HTH

[drivemecrazy63]

sorry should read " because of his note".

[Mitmoo]

Thanks Drive, he is very rigid with his hobbies almost impossible to get him to do anything else at all, he suffers with anxiety as well, can't cope with noise, new places, I'm not sure he could actually cope though for some it sounds very exciting, thanks for the ideas.

I've seen SALT mentioned on here a lot but haven't come across them, well not using that term anyway. He has an autism support worker who is working with him, could you explain what a SALT is.

He has been seen by CAMHS took him back as soon as I knew he tried to kill himself again, and meds adjusted. Thankfully he's not fighting against taking them at the moment, I think the fact he got so close has scared him.

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

SALT is speech and language therapy. It sounds like drive has some really good ones, but I'd think CAMHS would be better.

[Mitmoo]

He's very articulate so SALT wouldn't be right for him. He says the wrong thing very often but he's articulate with it :) We've been back to CAMHS, thanks everyone for the ideas if there are more I'd love to hear them.

[TooJung]

I deregistered my son from school aged 10.

[Mitmoo]

I have been tempted but he does have friends there, he does like his teachers has more good days than bad ones, though I have moved his school twice and I think the positives outweigh the negatives. The sad truth is he is going to have to learn that in life he will meet fabulous people but he'll also meet nasty ones. I wish I could give him the confidence to ignore the nasty ones and not drag him down to the extremes of emotions.

[drivemecrazy63]

salt not just for how well he speaks IYKWIM its for how he uses language and correcing/ helping him understand others better for instance my ds takes everything said litterally for eg: wait a minute , he thinks you mean it exactly so he will count to 60 and expect you to comply now. learning how to talk and interact in a real two way situation eg: as we are now but we may change and go onto talking of summer holiday from that onto weather ds cant talk like that he will though talk about pokemon, or his latest video game for hours without stopping and he wouldnt notice if you drifted off and were not listening he will still carry on reguardless of you not being interested .
also my ds will speak inappropriately eg: saying it how it is which is not always welcome like saying to a friend of mine even though ive told him whenever she visits her names diane (shes in 60s) he points and says her and says shes old isnt she she has grey hair, or he will meet someone new and say that Moustache looks stupid or your fat arnt you but if he sees on occasion "i mean that in a nice way" he doesnt get there isnt a nice way to say your fat or your ugly.
so i do think salts very important teaching two way conversation , whats appropriate, and learning to not need a script , as ds often will ask me , "what should I say mummy".

[nicevideoshameaboutthesong]

wanted to let you know aripiprazole and fluoxetine together are a drug interaction. - aripiprazole has its toxicity and blood levels increased by fluoxetine - its broken down by specific liver enzymes.