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opinions please! change to TAC minutes, am a right to be annoyed!

(11 Posts)
brandy77 Fri 08-Jul-11 09:51:22

Quick catch up, son is 6 has ASD. Spent a whole day on Call of duty at his dads 2 weeks and i had to deal with the aftermath till 1am of son going into fantasy world and war talk continuously.

Anyway, it was bought up by the EP in the TAC meeting where my ex attends. The behaviour specialist guy there told ex to get son out and build stuff etc and that he isnt allowed on violent war games because hes too young and because he cant distinguish between reality and fantasy and then went into the science behind the ASD mind and fantasy.

The TAC notes basically imply that he was on the war games at my house! I rang the school (lead professional is the SENCO) and told her I wanted my exes name added in or to put .....** accessed the games outside the family home. This is really important to me to get it in writing as a) it might make my ex actually listen to me! b) i dont want professionals thinking i allow this is in my home. It has happened before and its always implied its occuring at home.

Ive rung the school this morning and the SENCO has told me that they dont feel its important and could be seen as taking sides! I told her that it appears its ok to imply that i allow this but not my ex. Am i so wrong? Ive told her I want it changed and thats the end of it. Ive got so many reports about his war obsession and that he goes on violent games! Its not in my home. Im pretty hacked off actually. Really would like opinions as I dont know wether Im actually over reacting, perhaps i am sad

I gota go now and do my voluntary work with the lovely alzheimers peeps so sorry if i dont reply immediately.x

justaboutWILLfinishherthesis Fri 08-Jul-11 10:01:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission Fri 08-Jul-11 11:01:25

I don't think you're over reacting at all. How is stating fact taking sides confused so yes, get it changed or if they refuse complain.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Fri 08-Jul-11 11:32:02

who actually writes the minutes? Is it the school? If a minuted point is incorrect they definitely should change it. It may not seem important to the SENCo but who knows when this will be dragged up by someone in the future?

auntevil Fri 08-Jul-11 12:02:33

Definitely get it changed. The people present at the meeting might remember that it was your ex allowing this to happen, and not in your home, but anyone in the future can read the minutes and assume the worst.
As we all know, it only takes 1 misinformed numpty to make life a misery.

Eunicecycle Fri 08-Jul-11 14:28:42

If they are worried about amending it later or being perceived as taking sides you can always request that they add it and say this has been added at your request and then date it. Parents have a right to voice their opinion. I feel that this is very short sighted of the SENCo and I agree with everyone - it is OK to be upset and angry if you feel you are being misrepresented..

brandy77 Fri 08-Jul-11 14:52:11

ok im back and thankyou for agreeing with me, phew! just rang the SENCO and she had rung the Specialist Teaching Service again and spoke to the District Co-ordinator. He was the guy who told my ex that our son should not be on the games and for him to do more tactile and kinetic games with him which involve socialising. Now hes told the SENCO again that it isnt important and that nothing can be done till the next TAC meeting which will probably be October time after son has started the new school. He said it can be bought up at the next meeting? At the next meeting it will be a new Head and the SENCO from old school obviously will not attend. This still doesnt sound right to me, I cant see the problem with just adding in my exes name after "....expressed concern about conduct at home following a session when he had played war games on his computer", then add his fathers name. Without that it implies that he played them at mine, god im so pissed off that they wont just change it.

Ellen, yes it was the school secretary typed up the minutes and yes youre right, this needs to be corrected incase something/anything happens in the future. God forbid, but if my son does lose track of reality and ends up shooting someone I dont want to be blamed! sad

justaboutWILLfinishherthesis Fri 08-Jul-11 14:53:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brandy77 Fri 08-Jul-11 14:57:59

Hadnt thought of that justabout, how about if i write to all the people that attended the TAC meeting stating that I asked for it to be changed and what I requested was included and send it, would that stand do you think? or would they just bin it?!?

justaboutWILLfinishherthesis Fri 08-Jul-11 15:05:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brandy77 Fri 08-Jul-11 15:12:12

thanks justabout. Im going to draft a letter this evening, it wont be very long as its only 4 words i want added "at his fathers house". Ive just rung our county council try and speak to the District Co ordinator, apparently hes out of the office! Even though she said he was there and then came back to ask for my name! i knew once he heard my name he would conveniently not be there. Ive told her to tell him that i will be pursuing getting the minutes changed and i will continue until they are changed, and to tell him that he might think its irrelevant but from my point of view it is not! She took my number and said he would ring next week....he wont ring! mmmmm now got to start thinking of how to word it so that it comes across loud and clear. x

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