placid leading to being ignored

[utah]

Really starting to worry about son going to special school (well any school), he is currently going to "the best SN pre school in the county"(not my words) and when I collect him he is always sat in a corner alone while key workers are involved with other children with SEN. My son is so placid that this tends to lead to him being ignored, not on purpose but mainly because other children are more demanding. Will it always be like this does anyone else have this sort of experience. I have had a year of this and when I ask they fob me off and why I collect him now and not the taxi as my trust is wearing thin.

[Starchart]

Nope. That's awful and it will get worse.

If your gut tells you it is wrong remove him.

Are 'they' planing for him to start a mainstream nursery/reception? If so, put him in one now (you can always remove him from those too if it doesn't work and it can't be any worse surely).

[beautifulgirls]

Change nursery if you can. We had similar for DD#1 at (mainstream) nursery. What a difference when we moved her. Have a look around and get the feel of the various ones around you. Does your son have a statement and if so can he access mainstream with extra support?

[Agnesdipesto]

DS is similar we had a year of this in mainstream with an untrained 1:1 (who meant well but was given no training or support) and rubbish level of outreach support. Within the first week of ABA support (specialist autism tutor) he was sat with the other kids joining in.
So no it should not be like this. If the new school is then move him.

I went to a talk once with an autism consultant (floortime not ABA) who said 'with the passive kids you need to roughhouse them' which I think is American speak for throw them upside down, swing them around and generally get in their faces and have fun with them

[tiredoffightingwithjelly]

utah - you know your child best, we chose to transport our child too and he was one of the quieter children although he started to refuse to go into class. He is now thriving in mainstream and is making huge progress. I don't know your child so can't say that you will find the same but I too was hesitant and am now really glad I went with my instincts.

[utah]

thank you all so much, agnesdipesto you have described my son with the throwing him around and getting in his face. I have only till the end of the term before leaving and the reason for going to the nursery was to get him a statement (the head has never failed to get a child a statement if he believes they need one), But I am worried that this passiveness will continue into special school and more of the same. Have tried ABA through peach with not much luck it is so dependent on the tutor and my ds was 2 at the time, I have saved enough to get him more ABA so will try again, I will do a big push in jan when settled in school. thank you again just having the wobbles may have the next few weeks of him and me and do a sickie with the nursery.