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Feel so sad for my DD, her only friend is moving schools (AS)....

(9 Posts)
yodelayheehoo Tue 05-Jul-11 21:00:15

That's it really. DD1 is 8 and has aspergers and adhd. She is in year 3 and the only friend she has ever had is moving to another school in September.

Are the school able to help her make new friends? She is so lost and lonely and it breaks my heart that she really wants to make friends, but doesn't know how. sad

TheTimeTravellersWife Tue 05-Jul-11 21:05:16

Oh how sad! DD is the same, only has one friend at school, another little girl with SEN. My DD works on her social skills at school, in groups, practising how to make friends, but it doesn't come naturally to her at all, and she is very "unworldly" and young for her age.
I would speak to the school and see what tactics they can use to improve things. DD does lunchtime clubs at school, which gives her a structure to playtimes and helps her to interact.

holidaytime Tue 05-Jul-11 21:07:17

Some schools have what they call a circle of friends were a few children look out for and include people like your DD in there games. This will then help her gain the skills she needs to make her own friends.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 05-Jul-11 21:14:03

I so feel for you. The exact same thing happened to my DS (ASD) 2 years ago. His only friend, the only other boy who didn't play football every break, moved 20 miles away. We still see them sometimes in the holidays, but that daily, normal contact is gone. I was absolutely distraught, it seemed so unfair.

My DS has coped, the other children are all pleasant but not really his friends. It's been hard for the school, really, as this one boy was the only like minded person, the other children just aren't on his wavelength, and at that age (10) weren't likely to change.

The school can try a circle of friends approach, where a small group of likely candidates are brought together and taught social skills through games etc to become a friendship base. Your DD is still quite young and this can be very successful.

I was definitely more upset than my DS, still am, really. He's coped much better than I ever thought he would. (((((hugs)))))

yodelayheehoo Wed 06-Jul-11 12:58:09

Thank you for your replies. I called the school, but the SENCO isn't in today! I also contacted NAS and they mentioned Circle of Friends and are going to send me some info to show the school.

It's bad enough that she's changing teacher and class in September, now this as well. sad

Oblomov Wed 06-Jul-11 13:25:15

Oh my heart goes out to you. Ds1(7) is very lonely. He gets matched in Friendship week, and I have then invited the other child round to play, but it is not reciprocated, nothing comes of it.
You say you have rung the school. Is the senco 'generally' helpful and supportive? Really get senco to put some plans into action, of things to do in the last 2 weeks, we have left of this term, to help create more friendships. Do you have a girl in mind, that you think may be a suitable match? Do you want to invite someone over in the summer holidays ?

yodelayheehoo Wed 06-Jul-11 23:32:30

I have only met with the SENCO once, she told me she would call me when she had spoken to the EP. Heard nothing so called again today, no luck! So I would say no, not helpful or supportive. Will call again tomorrow, see if she's there!

I don't really have anyone in mind, DD says she doesn't trust anyone at school, that's as much as she would say.

yodelayheehoo Sun 10-Jul-11 22:26:47

Just a quick update on this. Had a very successful meeting with the SENCO on Friday. They are going to set up a circle of friends for her straight away! I'm so pleased. The SENCO also said that they will be working to improve her social skills in Y4, which will hopefully include some 1:1 sessions. It was all very positive and encouraging. smile

EllenJaneisnotmyname Mon 11-Jul-11 00:25:12

That's a bit more positive. smile

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