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ds getting me down :(

(12 Posts)
saladsandwich Tue 05-Jul-11 14:55:56

i have posted messages on here about ds, basically no idea what the problem is with him if any but basically he is about 12months behind with his development but meeting most physical development milestones, his language is getting slowly better but his behaviour is getting worse.

his behaviour is just getting me down at the moment, i have tried disciplinng him and it doesn't work, i try time out he finds it funny, i try just removing him from the situation and he just seems determined to carry on, i have taken everything into account, tiredness, boredom, .

today he was at playgroup, no children there so just him me and playgroup worker, his behaviour became worse and worse as the session went on, at one point he started scratching me loads had a melt down over nothing, but this was in the playgroup, plenty of toys, no loud noises, no other kids, not tired so there was nothing i could see to make him blow off like this?

i tried time out and he just laughs at me i tell him not to do something and he just runs off laughing, i make him say sorry, i asked him what he was saying sorry for and pointed at my arm where he he had scratched me but i dont know if he realises what sorry is, he is only 2 and half but its just exhausting, he spent all dinner squirting his drink all over, screaming and running off xx

zzzzz Tue 05-Jul-11 15:16:05

You sound tired and like this is getting to you. Children even nt children can be draining and maddening, and when you add sn into the equation and lack of rest worry it can be overwhelming to say the least. Make yourself a large cup of tea or coffee and give ds a snack and just breath for a little while.

It sounds like your son is winding you up for entertainment, so my take on it would be to keep him very busy [I have a list of activities and stuff in a box for the days when I can't even think, I recommend it it really helps, mine includes baloons, paint brushes, Mc Donalds toys, websites, crackers from Christmas, glue, videos, stick on moustaches....99p shops are brilliant].

Take a deep breath and just don't tell him not to do anything for a while, instead tell him what to do. Sounds simple but it is a good way of getting out of a loop.

So if he squirts his drink instead of saying "stop squirting" you get some kitchen roll and tell him to wipe it up, them you tell him to suck, then you tell him to put his drink on a funny mat/on top of the microwave, then you tell him to sit down then you give him raisins[or a kiss] and tell him what a really clever little chap he is. It takes a lot of effort from you, but strangely you will find it far less draining than feeling infuriated when ds laughs at you or scratches you.

If he likes a bath, you can give him one during the day and just read a magazine or drink a cup of tea and make a call while you watch him. Everyone needs a break and you need to build destressers into your day. Try not to be too hard on him or yourself. 2.5 is a very challengeing time and even 5th time round I was often at my wits end. We all know how you feel.

unpa1dcar3r Wed 06-Jul-11 10:46:17

Hi Salad
Don't take this the wrong way but it sounds like he thinks he's the boss of you and it should be the other way round.
My non disabled GS is the same age and to be honest a little sh*t but it's cos his mum is not firm enough with him.
Not saying it's the same with you of course, but I always found a certain tone of voice helped with all mine- I do sound a bit like Barry Whites caucasion love child as I drop a few octaves but it did work with them, they'd also get 'the'ook' like 'you just daaare' and that normally was enough.

Stick with what you're doing, if he runs off, go catch him, bring him back, MAKE him sit or whatever, if he runs off again do it again. No eye contact, no conversation just;
This is how it is do deal with it sort of attitude.
Cos YOU are the BOSS not him.
ood luck. It's very draining but worth it in the end if you can stick to your 'bossy' guns!

saladsandwich Wed 06-Jul-11 12:27:58

this is it though, i dont understand why he is how he is because he doesn't get away with stuff. i ignore most of his behaviour at home thats irritating like the screaming and stuff, when he is hurting himself,me and others i tend to use time out or i will take toys away from him, if he runs off at dinner he gets put in a high chair in the cafe which he hates. the time out really isnt working though, he just laughs so i dont know what else i can do he finds it funny to run off i thought he'd get bored of running off but he doesn't so in the end i end up having to sit with him to make him sit and he doesn't mind that either so its not a punishment. the health visitors said how i discipline is fine shes seen me discipline him but now time outs not working starting to panic now x

unpa1dcar3r Wed 06-Jul-11 15:17:48

OH dear, poor you Salad.
Trying to think of something you've not done already...
Time out not working. Mind you it wouldn't with my older boy, he don't mind being alone, but youngers one hates it...
Have you tried putting him somewhere where he can't run away? I don't want to say his bedroom as it might make bedtime seem like a punishment, but anothe rroom where he'd be safe and couldn't get out of, even if you have to sit outside and hold the door handle while he loses the plot!

unpa1dcar3r Wed 06-Jul-11 16:17:52

I know this is stating the obvious but give him loads of praise when he is good. If he sees that he's getting attention in a positive way he way begin to prefer that than being told off!
Fingers crossed anyway...

saladsandwich Wed 06-Jul-11 17:24:49

well i have been proactive about it now, rung the health visitor and she is on it and will sort something out (she always does bless her) tomorrow suppose to be seeing a lady at the sure start whether she can come up with anything i dont know, kites came out when he was little and gave me good advice but felt he was too young at the time for "triple p" so ended up put back on the waiting list for them to close due to the recession.

been talking with someone and she suggested rather than a punishment just reassure him so going to give it a go. he does get the praise thing, health visitor got him a reward chart and he earns stars, its worked for the potty training but not much else but one thing at a time. x

saladsandwich Wed 06-Jul-11 17:28:43

thankyou for replies, think i just needed a moan, coped better with his melt downs today, he had another at the childrens centre so i just left, it was easier all round x

unpa1dcar3r Wed 06-Jul-11 17:58:34

Sounds like you're getting it all under control Salad.
Hey we all need a moan sometimes. Blimey if I couldn't moan I know I'd go bonkers for sure! smile

saladsandwich Wed 06-Jul-11 19:24:43

its the public discipline i find the hardest, his favourite thing at the moment is high pitched screaming but its not 1 scream its 15 hich pitched screeches one after another as loud as he can, i can feel eyes on me in public and regularly get told to stop him doing it,at home im trying to ignore it, look away with my fingers in my ears but i feel i have to be seen as doing something in public iykwim

ah well, see what the behaviour lady as to say tomorrow, seeing her at 8am, how desperate am i lol xx

unpa1dcar3r Wed 06-Jul-11 20:47:57

Something to chew on maybe, like a long piece of plastic tubing for when you're out; might distract him. I don't know. My boys have very high oral stimulation needs but they have FXS so might be different.
As for the public, tell em to bog off!

saladsandwich Thu 07-Jul-11 11:44:36

well, at his last caf meeting was mentioned he may possibly have sensory problems, no idea what they are and non of them where experts, he sees the community peadiatrician on the 21st. he went through a phase of oral stuff, blows raspberries on my leather settee?? also will sometimes try to eat plants, not sure why, i think he likes textures he eats any foods but spits out certain textures behaviour lady cant see us till next week so that was pointless hope the health visitor comes good xx

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