Hello everyone :) have been lurking for a bit due to chronic fatigue issues but am coming out of the woodwork to beg advice.
As some of you may know ds (5in August) is in reception at school and in the process of being diagnosed with ASD. He is in a kind caring classroom with a lovely teacher and support staff but they are really overstretched as the class is full and they have 5 or 6 children with ISPs. DS is bright but has severe communication difficulties (his inability to comprehend explanations or explain/identify his own needs is quite profound although his clear speech and advanced echolalia tend to mask this). His abilities and sensory issues are very fluctuating too so sometimes he is switched on, sometimes not and this can make him hard to work out or predict. He is not toilet-trained and has sensory problems there - school and I are working hard to resolve this but it does add to the general stress all around. DS does not understand cause and effect and consequences very well and has intellectual comprehension of emotions but very little working empathy, although he can be kind.
DS has been cuddling, squeezing, bumping into and more worryingly putting his hands around children's necks, also pulling hair and occasionally biting. The teacher and TA's agree that he does really need 1:1 full-time but there is no funding for it especially as he is not statemented. I think it is sensory-seeking and stimming most of the time as it is mainly children he likes but gets mixed with aggression and frustration when he is stressed. At home we have managed to stop this behaviour by watching out for signs of stress, fatigue, low blood sugar (he has limited diet and won't eat when stressed or overloaded). He also has ways to release his stress at home like running at furniture and slamming into it and getting big "squeezy cuddles" from me when he needs it. Aggression is not much of a problem here and wasn't at nursery; in fact I would say he is a gentle child who dislikes violence.
I've been a nervous wreck waiting for him to do something serious at school and worrying about the other children. Now what I fear seems to be happening: the week before last he wrestled a child to the floor and got them round the neck and I reiterated the need for 1:1 support then. Today he bit a child so badly she had a bruise on her shoulder and the skin was broken
This girl is a lovely little girl who has been very friendly to my ds and he likes her a lot but she has often been on the receiving end of his overphysicality. I feel just terrible for her and her equally lovely mum. I got a call from the headmistress saying that they understood that it was due to ds' issues but the child had had to be taken to the doctor and that if it happened again ds would have to be excluded. Later I got a call at lunchtime telling me that ds had tried to choke someone and I came and took him home.
We have agreed that ds will stay home tomorrow but it is not an exclusion or sanction, just a breathing space while we all think what to do. It was suggested that I contact support groups for strategies and ideas (which I am doing now ) but tbh I know how to deal with this at home -I don't know what I can do to stop him doing this at school. He agrees he won't do it but doesn't seem to be able to help himself. The classroom staff have a sensory box for him, have let him massage their hands, put him on the thinking chair, have talked about kind hands and encourage him to clap instead of touching. They also have done social stories with him. I just can't see any way to stop him though, short of having 1:1 to reduce his stress and control the environment more, or am I unreasonable? Any ideas for what I / the school could do to keep the other children safe and help ds?
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son choking people and biting at school - advice needed please!
18 replies
FickleFreckle · 04/07/2011 15:34
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LeninGrad ·
04/07/2011 20:36
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