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Please help me with DD hitting

(6 Posts)
used2bthin Sun 03-Jul-11 20:01:42

DD who will be five in september has severe SLI and a genetic condition which means she is steroid dependant. The dose was upped a bit recently and her behaviour has been noticeably worse, she seems angry and just hasn't stopped hitting me, even kicking me sometimes.

She also hits her dad when she is with him. He and his partner have recently had a baby and DD will be off to school soon so there is lots of change-we also movded house six months ago.

She also hits my mum who looks after her three afternnons a week when I'm at work.

So despite an early years degree and years of experience (which makes me feel I SHOULD be able to handle this) I am really struggling. She has had an abnormal eeg so we are waiting for an MRI to (probably) tell us she has epilepsy and I have been stressed out with statementing and not at my best but I keep losing my temper and am just not helping her, she is obviously feeling insecure.

Any ideas? Her understanding of language is badly affected and so we use signing but it means I never really know if she understands when I say it hurts people etc.

mumoftwolittlerugrats Sun 03-Jul-11 23:35:15

I'm going through the exact same thing, DS aged 4 is increasingly volatile. I just don't know what to do.

In your case, though, you know it's linked to the increased dosage, so you should take her back to the doctors I think.

Hopefully it's just a rough patch they'll get through

used2bthin Mon 04-Jul-11 07:55:48

Its difficult isn't it? She kicked me earlier for no reason we were just lying in my bed having a cuddle. Its often when I am busy but not always, sometimes I can be doing something with her like reading a book and she'll just smack me in the face.

The medication when its changed can take a bit of time to adjust to but its been two weeks. So hard to know when she has so much else going on and I know the hospital will just say the dose can be checked again with her next tests but that involves a six to eight week wait.

Her behaviour is increasingly hard to manage, she runs off in public and lies on the floor refusing to leave places to the extent that I am wary of taking her out alone some days. So sad I used to love taking her out.

smugtandemfeeder Mon 04-Jul-11 08:05:34

Does she have any sensitivity to noise? DS is only 3 but we have exactly the same issue. Random hitting for no apparent reason. But also hitting for reasons I can sort of work out.

Autism outreach suggested I get ear defenders which have helped loads with hitting the baby. They have been the best thing for DS.

They also suggested I treat DS as though he is deaf and use visual aids for no hitting and have a no hitting visual aid rule board on the wall to show him.

DS does hit us as he knows it is a way to really upset us and make us lose our temper when he gets cross. We have tried laughing when he does it and cheering so it backfires when we can do so that it doesnt have the effect we want.

For your DDs dad - Suggested colour coding toys as DS rips everything off baby and wont let her have anything. DD now has her toys with red stickers in a red box and DS has green stickers in a green box with green and red sign on rules board if that makes sense.

Have to say I have had months and months of massively losing temper and being so angry. Its very very hard. I see red when he hits the baby.

used2bthin Mon 04-Jul-11 08:55:14

Thank you some great ideas can I ask more about the visual board? So far we have just used signing and photos , DD is very visual but the photos don't seem to help much unless I am doing it wrong. So on the board you'd have more than one picture? Would it be sort of a hit picture then a consequence?

Luckily so far she hasn't hit the baby but she is just a couple of months old so not much of a threat yet. Will save the stickers suggestion though that sounds great.

DD isn't normally sensitive to noise but has just had grommets so probably is this last week or so. Its like she's angry all the time.

Just watched the programme about Jordan standing up for Harvey and the mums were talking about thier kids being aggressive when theie hydrocortisone was upped and that is what DD is on! Still not much I can do regards the dose but helpful to know I am not imagining it.

I will try and sort out more visual aids I think. Was thinking of reading a book or watching something together about how hurting other people isn't good etc but am not sure it would do much as, in the moment she does it she doesn't care.

Wonder if I need an immediate consequence? Have tried time out but she is impossible to force to do anything and then I feel mean as I start worrying she hasn't understood. Have to do something though am exhausted and not enjoying her company a lot of the time.

smugtandemfeeder Thu 07-Jul-11 21:57:50

Sorry for taking so long to answer. Autism outreach just said to make a short house rules board with the main problems we have. I havent managed to make mine yet as they only suggested it last week and im still putting in place all the ideas. Everything I have done do far has been great. They suggetsed making a 'no hitting' visual aid on the rules board and then a picture of DD's colour code toy colour - so a big red symbol and point to the red symbol to remind him that red toys are her toys. Just a visual way of reminding him not to hit and not to pinch her toys rather than just saying it. LEA suggested I take photos to go on the board too so that they are really visual rather than just symbols. Sounds like a good idea.

DS likes to be in control of everything so I thought if I put visual aids of routines up for getting dressed, going to the loo etc I could find a way of making it his idea to follow them. He loves routines as long as im not trying to make him follow one.

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