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Just had paediatrician appointment -lots of questions

(2 Posts)
mrscrimble Thu 30-Jun-11 20:20:27

I went with my nearly-4 year old for an assessment with a paediatrician this morning, and am left feeling annoyed, upset and confused… Great outcome. I wondered if anyone on hear might have any wise words or advice. I also really need to offload somewhere….

We have been worried about ds’s lack of social skills for a while and wondered if he is somewhere on the autistic spectrum. However, he has empathy and lots of imagination so doesn’t seem to tick all the boxes. Today’s consultation didn’t really give me any more info or insight than I’d gained by reading lots on the internet. The doc said ds might have Aspergers but he’s really not sure. Said there are some autistic traits but also lots of positive things. So he wants to see us again in 6 months.

The whole consultation just wound me up and I’m kicking myself for all the things I didn’t say or ask or clarify. It didn’t help that the doc was an old, arrogant, pompous man who kept interrupting and thought that telling unrelated (and sometimes offensive) anecdotes was a good way of answering questions. He also gave my son a bear hug and squeezed his (and my 16 month old’s) faces in a kind of mad-old-uncle-jokey-but-a-bit-too-firm sort of way.

The doc didn't seem to understand why I didn’t want to go into detail in front of ds (in the end it was fine and he was able to play in another room). Maybe this is just me but ds is fairly bright and pretty sensitive and understands most things so I thought that discussing his problems and our concerns in front of him was probably not the most helpful thing to do.

I obviously hadn’t prepared myself properly and was taken aback by his methods. I’d expected him to ask questions about relevant areas. Instead, he just kept barking ‘what else?’ (and then interrupting my answers). I found that so hard… surely he should ask me about specific things rather than expecting me to know which of ds's many behaviours might or might not be significant. I found it really hard to know where to start. I’m kicking myself for not just coming along with a list. And seething that I am always unable to deal with pompous men in authority without getting flustered and emotional.

Anyway, sorry for ranting. I’d really appreciate any thoughts. Do you think I’m overreacting to the docs manner and just feeling emotional about the situation? Or do you think it’s worth seeking a second opinion elsewhere with somebody who might be better able to listen and explain. If not, who can I talk to for some deeper discussion/explanation of what’s going on – I feel like I need to talk to a psychologist, but not sure if I could get an NHS referral for this. Anyone know? Or done it privately?

Also, what (if anything) would be the benefit of a diagnosis? Would support be put in place at school etc? What sort? Would he automatically get a statement or is that a separate process? In what way is a statement useful?

Sorry again for rambles… And many, many thanks for reading.

LeninGrad Thu 30-Jun-11 20:50:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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