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school problems=stress

(2 Posts)
nickpage Wed 29-Jun-11 21:27:22

Greetings from Australia from a former English man now living down under. This is a really long post so please bear with me.

Mines a stressful puzzle. My son went to childcare from the age of one. All of the children were regularly checked to make sure they were reaching their developmental milestones. We never had any issues. I did suspect from about the age of three that he had ADHD as he was always on the go and was quite hard to control when we went out to the shops.

Soon as he went to school the stress and problems began. He just could not function in a classroom. He could not follow directions, could not sit still and needed 1-1 for the whole of Kindergarten.

We took him to a Paediatrician she said he was a normal child. Her words were bright and bored. School seemed to think he had aspergers. Then a child psychologist said he was mildly impaired which sent my stress levels through the roof.

Anyway he had a day long evaluation with a Developmental Paediatrician who specialised in ASD and learning disabilities. I had to go private and it was very expensive. This guy is really good and I had to beg for an appointment. He’s normally booked out for the whole year. I was lucky as I got a cancellation. Even then I had to wait four months.
The Paediatrician said that my son does not demonstrate traits that were suggestive of autism or aspergers and diagnosed him as having ADHD which I do agree he has. He scored a normal IQ, they also tested him for learning Disabilities and he reads and spells like a nine year old and he was tested aged 6.

His maths is normal; his handwriting is poor but vast improvements this year. He can write very well if he wants to. Paed said he's a very smart kid and the adhd is masking his actual ability. He doesn't want to medicate him yet as he's young and really at home we don't really have any issues with him. His behaviour is generally excellent at home.
He does have meltdowns if he doesn't get his own way but I know exactly how to deal with them. The meltdowns are not violent, just name calling and tears. He says things like you are mean, etc, etc.
He started year two well; he actually got an award for his maths and spelling. I just had a meeting last week and he's gone downhill. He's become hostile to teachers, picking his nose and chasing other kids, etc, etc. His social skills are not great. He's very confident, but comes across as bossy and pushy.

I have an IEP from the school but they annoyed me with that as they have said his primary problem was mild intellectual disability which the Paed said was rubbish. He explained how adhd kids can score low in IQ tests. I took him back in feb and again he scored high in everything. At first the school were a nightmare but they are trying really hard with him. I think one of the problems is the school is a expensive private school so they don't have many problem kids so he does stick out like a sore thumb. I did think he was being bullied but his teacher say's the kids generally like him.
I still think the school are trying to say he has Aspergers. Now I am not a doctor but I can see he’s more ADHD than Aspergers and I do really trust the Paed’s diagnoses.

He does have very good eye contact, despite what the school say. He has an excellent sense of humour. He has brilliant imaginative play on his own and with other children. He has no stimming or OCD behaviours and no sensory issues. The only Aspie traits I can see are his obsessesion with Star Wars and his social skills. But even then he does have alot of other interests. Personally it would be so much easier if he was an Aspie in terms of getting him support at school.

I’ve complied a list of the majority of his problems.

1-His grades are terrible d's and e's. I m worried because he is very bright but he's failing in school.
2-He has terrible problems with concentration but can totally lose himself in computer games, building Lego, or playing with his star wars toys and can play for hours if left
3-He has very bad impulsivity which causes huge problems at school. He acts before he thinks. For instance he will grab something from another child, which then sets off a chain of events which lead to him getting angry and frustrated?
4-He talks excessively, is often the loudest in the room, can't think before opening mouth blurts out inappropriate comments, suffers majorly from verbal diarrhoea, often dashes around the room.
5-He gets very argumentative if he can’t get his own way, especially with teachers.
6-He gets bored very easily and then starts to cause problems.
7-His social skills are very much hit and mess. He is great with younger children and older kids but not with kids his own age. He is extremely boisterous around children and comes across as very bossy. He exhibits showing off kind of behaviour, is sometimes quite reckless things like turning on hosepipes and soaking other kids, he does sometimes enjoy annoying people.
8-Shows no interest in school works at all, despite having very advanced reading and spelling abilities. An ex teacher who deals with him on a day to day basis thinks’ he belongs in a gifted and talented class.
9-Hopelessly forgetful and disorganised. Constantly losing things.

Now his school are struggling to educate him. It is very frustrating because he is a very clever boy. He really loves the school and I would hate to move him despite the fact that it is very expensive. They are ill equipped to deal with his needs. I’m sick of the constant phone calls, letters, etc. I’m having to educate his learning and support teacher about ADHD because there is so much more to the disorder than just the standard things. Sorry for rambling but the educational system isn’t that great here.

countydurhamlass Wed 29-Jun-11 22:03:38

hi, sorry to hear you are having such a hard time, here in England it isn't any better!

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