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Feeling very low AGAIN

(13 Posts)
Becaroooo Wed 22-Jun-11 11:23:42

Hello everyone.

Well, back from our hols. Had a good break.

Ds1 has completed his AIT course (went ok). He is still seeing the retained reflex therapists at INPP (and will continue to til feb/march next year)

I am waiting to arrange a meeting with his HT to disuss provision for him as he goes into year 4 in Sept.

Got the copy of the paed letter this morning with the GARS 2 autism questionairre to fill in.

Am so bloody fed up sad He is doing something called "Switch on" at school - have no idea what it is tbh. The reading books he is bringing home are far too easy for him IMHO, but he is still really struggling with literacy. He has major tracking/convergence issues which the RRT should help but we may end up seeing a behavioural optometrist too after the RRT has ended.

He is making improvements with the RRT - I think thats the way it will be with ds1...chipping away at his problems not a huge leap forward.

I am trying to help him at home too (have been since he was 5 but dont seem to have done very well) and am using Read Write Inc atm but he is struggling with it...he read the story from module 1 last night and was even getting the high frequency words wrong...he sees they are HF words and thinks "ok, its either "the" or "and" and then guesses!! He doesnt read the words most of the time, just makes educated guesses at what they might be.

I am so tired. I dont want to be doing work with him all summer. I know I have to, but I dont want to. Nothing I do/try helps. Nothing. Dh is getting annoyed at the money I am spending on books/workbooks etc......its all wasted.

Sigh. Sorry. You are the only ones who understand.

Becarooo. I want to drive up to you and hug you.....

I completley understand where you are coming from. It is a constant battle isn't it.

Have you applied for DLA towards all of the extra costs that you are incurring. I bet the eye tracking etc is really not helping with any of the issues that your DS has. However I have really found it very hard to help him with this as he just cannot concentrate enough on the exercises enough to progress to the next levels - which means that he is bored - which means that he can't concentrate etc etc.

IndigoBell Wed 22-Jun-11 12:15:52

Becaroo - sad I know exactly how you feel.

I am so tired. I dont want to be doing work with him all summer.
This is exactly what I feel like. My motivation is that I'm determined to send her back to school in Sep far in advance of where she is now, so they can stop giving me the BS about what they're doing is helping. ( ie what I do at home helps, but what they do at school doesn't....)

Despite DDs reading coming on tremendously she still guesses an awful lot - but prev she couldn't even guess, so this is huge progress.

Them sending home books that are too easy is huge progress as well - because that means there are some books which are too easy smile

Ignore DH and his money worries. Your DS not learning to read etc is going to cost you (and him!) an awful lot more than whatever you spend now to sort it out.....

You will get there. You are chipping away at it and in 6 months he will be far better than he is now - think about how much progress he's made in the last 6 months......

But, despite all this. I feel exactly like you grin. I know I will get there with DD. I know RRT will work. I just wish I could fast forward 6 months..... But giving up isn't an option, is it?

(Although I must say I've just cheated, and hired a nanny, and she's now doing the work with DD, which has relieved the pressure on me a lot....)

Triggles Wed 22-Jun-11 12:26:02

So sorry you're feeling down. I know it can be so frustrating to pay for things and try them and find they don't work. Is there somewhere that has things available for you to try without purchasing them first?

manicmamma Wed 22-Jun-11 12:29:20

Looking for a developmental paediatritian in the Edinburgh/Glasgow area. Anyone able to recommend a private paed. ?
We had an appointment last week wth the NHS paed....what a waste of time!

thanks

manicmamma Wed 22-Jun-11 12:40:27

sorry posted in the wrong bit....so sorry...

asdx2 Wed 22-Jun-11 12:57:56

Really sorry you are feeling down. I don't think you should be putting anymore pressure on yourself. Not sure how old your little one is but from the photos he doesn't look all that old so wouldn't tear yourself apart trying to teach him to read or doing extra schoolwork. It may be that he just isn't ready to learn to read just yet.
I am super laid back though but having five kids has taught me that if anything learning basic literacy and numeracy skills are a marathon and not a sprint and years down the line it doesn't make much difference whether you learnt to read easily at four or whether you grasped it after a struggle at seven or eight.
In primary I take the attitude homework is optional and we definitely don't do any extras, we read the reading books if dd chooses but sometimes we read something else (last night's entry in the reading diary was the Beano, and it has been a recipe book or online research too)
Sometimes you have to choose your battles and whilst you are working out where your child's difficulties lie it's not a good time to take on any extra worries IME.

Triggles Wed 22-Jun-11 13:10:39

Rather than working hard on homework, maybe just have some games that might assist in some skills? Like playing "go fish" with laminated handmade cards that have the high frequency words he needs to know on them (do you have an "and"? No, go fish!). DS2 likes to play hangman, just drawn on a piece of paper, with easy phrases or words. Get books from the library - maybe let him pick out 2 of his particular interest and you pick 2 that you think would be good for his reading level. When he's read the reading one, let him then read the fun one as a reward. (and library is free, so no extra expense - if you find a series of books that he likes, you can order them online on the library site at no cost to get them to your particular library in most places)

We don't do all of DS2's homework. His handwriting notebook doesn't even come home anymore (they generally sent it home a couple times a week), but I told them he was too tired to do it in the evening and it was a struggle to get him to do it on the weekends). He has an aquadoodle, a chalkboard, a write-on/wipe-off board, colouring books, crayons, markers, coloured pencils... all sorts of things to practice writing/drawing with, and he's happy to do those at home. Funny thing is if I put a handwriting book in front of him and say "okay, let's practice letters" then he is not cooperative. Give him a red marker and a piece of paper and say "let's make letters" and he's happy to try. hmm Kids, eh?

Not all reading has to be books - grocery lists, road signs, labels on the food in the cupboard, comic books, recipe books... you can pick and choose according to his mood and cooperation. That's what we do.

And sometimes it's important just to kick back and relax and take a break. grin

Becaroooo Wed 22-Jun-11 14:33:57

ben10 sob...I could do with that hug sad

asd He is 8

indigo I am so tired of it all. I have been battling this since he was 5 and I feel like I am just treading water, on bad days like today like I am going under sad

He is now in "the system" but the term ends in 3 weeks so he will get no support/help til the start of year 4 and that means a new teacher and the inevitable issues that will bring him.

thanks for the support x

Becaroooo Wed 22-Jun-11 14:34:56

manic sorry the nhs paed was no good - the one we saw was ok. Hope you find a good private one x

asdx2 Wed 22-Jun-11 14:59:45

Not to reassure you but just to let you know that not everybody who struggles to read and write will always struggle. My daughter who is just 18 could barely read or write at age seven (she got level 1 in her SATs) At age ten she was up to speed with the rest of the class not through extra help it just clicked for her. On Monday she sat her final A level paper, she is predicted As and A* and is an Oxbridge candidate.

Becaroooo Wed 22-Jun-11 17:56:03

wow asd you must be so proud!!!! smile

That is a reassuring story and I have herd many like it. I guess I am in panic mode because its nearing the end of term and nothing is in place re: provision and his new teacher is an unknown quantity....sigh.

I just dont want him to fall further behind his peers and it become distressing for him, IYSWIM?

asdx2 Wed 22-Jun-11 18:14:52

I am proud grin Tbh I didn't worry, didn't have the time ds is just 21 months younger and was a nightmare so dd was well and truly left to get on with it blush it all worked out well thank goodness.

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