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Teacher has NEVER seen ds laugh

(10 Posts)
mum0fthree Wed 22-Jun-11 07:48:18

I know it is a small thing in the grand scheme of life but it has really upset me. he has been working with a play therapist, I had review meeting yesterday as he has reached the end of his sessions. she said some lovely things about him and seem be the first person within school to "get him".

She told me that it had taken time to gain his trust, but within a couple of weeks he was giving her eye contact albeit fleeting, allowing her to touch him (he hates being touched by anyone outside of family) and laughing all the time. When she was speaking to his teacher she commented that she had NEVER seen him laugh. A target on his IEP is to hold a conversation for one minute with TA or teacher. At home he never stops talking.

Just need to vent, can't stop thinking about it.

girlscout Wed 22-Jun-11 09:27:37

Conversation vs constant talking. How old is he?

When he talks at home, does he have longer eye contact, does he seem to take physical cues from other people he is familiar with?

Are you saying that he is very reticent and socially a late developer,or are you saying there is something more specific?
Sorry for all these questions, but maybe it is to do with the quality of the interaction.

mum0fthree Wed 22-Jun-11 11:17:20

He is

IndigoBell Wed 22-Jun-11 11:18:59

Sorry you're feeling down about it. It is an upsetting thing to hear.

target on his IEP is to hold a conversation for one minute with TA or teacher

But what are they doing to help him achieve that target? If he never stops talking at home it sounds like this should be easy to achieve......

mum0fthree Wed 22-Jun-11 11:47:10

OMG twice i have wrote an essay and it hasn't posted aaaarrrggghhh

mum0fthree Wed 22-Jun-11 12:27:30

DS is 7 in Y2 and we suspect ASD, he is the dx process. He only speaks in class if asked a specific question. They are working on modelling conversation with him.

Within his family he makes good eye contact but none with people outside family including friends of mine who he has known his whole life.

In school he is getting weekly physio, social skills group and play therapy.

From the feedback the play therapist has given me it seems obvious that he would really benefit from a 1-1. She described him as gifted and commented on the unusual and profound statements that he makes. I don't think school are aware of his potential. He is a perfectionist and so struggles to put his work down on paper because he is so scared of being wrong. He fits the little professor stereotype, he has unusual obsessions interests, at the moment- Infinity, black holes and nuclear (power, missiles etc). He speaks in a formal, unusual way, last night he asked for something to eat "what are you able to provide to nourish my hunger?"

He started piano lessons last month and after one 30 min lesson came home and wrote what all the notes were on his sheet music. He soaks up information. If he is talking about something that happened in the past he adds the year it happened to the sentence. In 2008 blah blah and he is always right, I can barely remember last week.

In certain situations he will chatter away although not always in a socially appropriate way, during a SALT assessment it was noted that he tended to dominate conversation and expand in unusual ways. At the GP's for a referral letter he was reading over the GP's shoulder and commented that he should change lad to boy as isn't a lad. Waiting for the paed who was running late (first app) he said to her "at last do you know how long I have been waiting?"
The way I am describing him makes him sound rude but he isn't honest smile

girlscout Wed 22-Jun-11 13:44:43

just want to keep this thread live, because i'm sure there are a few kids out there who are very literal/precociously gifted. I guess you might be considering aspergers sectrum, wish I had something constructive to add.

auntevil Wed 22-Jun-11 14:51:41

Just wondering in my head, if he concentrates so hard at school that he doesn't have time to relax and laugh/smile ? I have a DS that is an angel at school and then the horns and forked tail come out literally as he steps out of the classroom. He has told me that he is not allowed to have bad behaviour at school.
I always take comfort in the postings on here that have said that our DCs that are like that must find home a place of safety where they can vent and be themselves without having to 'follow' the rules. Maybe your DS thinks that school is for learning and is as such a serious place that you must concentrate in. Maybe he is so focussed on absorbing the information that humorous situations pass him by. Does he laugh and smile at home? Do you think he is happy in his comfortable environments?

mum0fthree Wed 22-Jun-11 15:14:48

Yes he always laughs and smiles at home.

He is well behaved at home as well, he is VERY self critical of himself. He needs a lot of encouragement and reassurance to do things that are not his own idea. He has lots of emotional outbursts when he can't do something, as he has got older sometimes these outbursts develop into anger. He does have a lot of sensory problems so I think these have an impact on how he handles a situation.

Chundle Wed 22-Jun-11 19:28:00

Hi mum I quite enjoyed reading your thread as your son is in the same year as my dd1 and sounds so much like her in the way he talks/acts! Dd has a dx of ADHD and scored just under the threshold on the CAST (childhood asperger syndrome test) to warrant investigation for AS. However the paed said she has some significant AS traits. She ha an unusual manner and when the paed told her he knew everything she replied of course you do you're an old man! At taekwondo they have to wait to go in and she will often stand there and say what are we waiting for Xmas?
At a school meeting once they had written 'the child' on a form and dd demanded it be changed and said my name is Xxx please use it. She also says stuff like my hunger pangs are extremely painful!

She talks incessantly but half of what she says is a load of nonsense because she simply talks for the sake of it. However Shes very bright and can read adult novels and is a fab speller. Dd is also self-critical and has very low self esteem and has sensory problems.

I quite like her unusual way of talking it always surprises me smile

No real advice except I know with dd life at school seems to pass her by sometimes- although she does the work much of what is said/happening around her goes over her head so perhaps your boy is to busy concentrating (or being bothered by sensory issues?) to have actually heard the joke to laugh at it.

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