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advice needed. Monster head teacher strikes again!

(13 Posts)
hanaka88 Sun 19-Jun-11 09:45:01

Hi girls sorry I havent been on for ages it has been manic here!

popped on for more advice :S

DS bit someone at school yesterday and his TA told my mum at pick up...all fine. Then when she was leaving the head came out after her, sat DS outside in front of all the other parents and started a massive lecture about his naughty behaviour! He has been spoken to by an Ed Psych about his lecturing before and it is in DSs statement that consequencees should be immedite, logical and using simple language e.g. 'no biting, ow!' as his understanding is very limited.

even worse then this he proceeded to tell my mum, in front of all the other parents that his behaviour couldnt continue in this school and he shouldnt be there.

wow I know. Havent managed to speak to anyone as it's been the weekend. I have wrote a long letter but need some quotes from the Disability discrimination act to back it up and then who do I send it to?

Triggles Sun 19-Jun-11 10:52:52

She said all this in front of the other parents??? shock Wow! I'm assuming from your comments that your mum did the pickup and you weren't there. First of all, please make sure your mum knows that next time they try this, she needs to interrupt them immediately (and quite firmly and loudly) and tell them "I'm CERTAIN you wouldn't be so unprofessional as to try to discuss this out here in front of everyone. If you can't find a private place to discuss this now, then I will be happy to have hanaka88 ring you tomorrow to make an appointment to discuss this further."

appropriatelytrained Sun 19-Jun-11 11:06:12

I think Triggles is right. I think you could also write formally to the head and say you were very concerned about the attempts to discuss this so publicly and to describe the behaviour so openly (and incorrectly) as 'naughty'.

I would suggest in your politest, most patronising manner that there may be a 'skills deficit' at school which is making it hard for staff to use appropriate strategies and make reasonable adjustments for your son's disability as required by law. This is not fair on anyone, least of all your son.

I would suggest to him that there may be a need for further training and external support to ensure inclusion and that school have a duty to access this if they are finding it hard to cope. I would then suggest an urgent meeting with the EP and anyone else relevant to discuss how to make progress constructively.

I would copy this to the EP.

hanaka88 Sun 19-Jun-11 11:08:52

oo thank you for those quotes! I think I am going to replace some of my words with yours trained.

and triggles I will de-brief my mum and the child minder tonight for pick up tomorrow

appropriatelytrained Sun 19-Jun-11 11:24:52

I think Triggles is right. I think you could also write formally to the head and say you were very concerned about the attempts to discuss this so publicly and to describe the behaviour so openly (and incorrectly) as 'naughty'.

I would suggest in your politest, most patronising manner that there may be a 'skills deficit' at school which is making it hard for staff to use appropriate strategies and make reasonable adjustments for your son's disability as required by law. This is not fair on anyone, least of all your son.

I would suggest to him that there may be a need for further training and external support to ensure inclusion and that school have a duty to access this if they are finding it hard to cope. I would then suggest an urgent meeting with the EP and anyone else relevant to discuss how to make progress constructively.

I would copy this to the EP.

utah Sun 19-Jun-11 13:09:17

Is this the placement you want as I would be refusing to take my child back, to inform your mum and anyone else who happened to be around that your child is unwanted is the lowest of the low. I always worry when people talk around my son he is non verbal and he seems not to understand but if he is taking some of the information how will the negativity effect him. I would speak to parent partnership and speak through a third party.

IndigoBell Sun 19-Jun-11 19:00:32

Also she should only be discussing problems with you, not with your Mum or the childminder.......

hanaka88 Sun 19-Jun-11 19:50:43

Thanks everyone. I am giving him a letter tomorrow requesting copies of the complaints policy, SN policy and accessibility plan. I will also tell him he is not to talk to my mum about DS and he is not to try and talk to her while she is picking DS up and disrupt his routine. Then I'll make a formal complaint.

Agnesdipesto Sun 19-Jun-11 23:02:34

Equality Act
Not only is he not allowed to discriminate against your child, but also not allowed to treat a carer differently than he would any other parent - those related to a disabled person are also protected under Equality Act
If he would not have spoken to another parent about their child's behaviour in public then he is discriminating against the carer and the child
As the complaint is about the Head I personally would write to the Governors and ask for them to investigate

IndigoBell Mon 20-Jun-11 03:46:11

Agree with formally writing to the govs.

That is the correct way to complain about a HT......

CBAtonamechange Mon 20-Jun-11 16:16:03

Do you know any of the parents who witnessed this and can back you up? Sadly my experience of a formal complaint is that the Head lied all the way through the meeting and so did her Deputy.They will twist it to look like your mum misheard or just blatantly deny that they said it . This happened to me and I am a governor !

Suzza Mon 20-Jun-11 23:04:06

Excuse my language but what an absolute bastard!!! I have the same problem, I am called upto three times a week to collect my boy for biting teachers and children. I never ever get angry with him as he is 5 and barely knows what he has done!. The HT is horrible total witch and hasn't got the first clue about Autism. I want out! Make sure you take the right route and complain. That is totally unacceptable!! I totally feel your pain (everyday!) Good luck.

hanaka88 Wed 29-Jun-11 07:19:00

Update: I sent a letter to the chair if governors about the head. He was going against progressional advice which is against his own inclusions policy. Nowhere in the behaviour policy did it state that children were to be publicly repremanded AND the school don't even have an accessibility plan angry so it's quite a powerful letter. I have asked for a written letter of apology from the head and a guarantee that it won't happen again.

I got a letter from the chair acknowledging my formal complaint saying it would be investigated and he would let me know the outcome smile

Now it's just a waiting game, although I know the head is worrying as he pulled in another mum of an autistic child after he saw her talking and asked her if he could do anything to help! He has always been horrible to her too so it's progress grin

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