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School 'feel sorry' for our crap TA

(47 Posts)
appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 18:29:44

Many of you wonderful folks have helped and supported me with my trials and Tribunalations (!) recently and may remember my battle with the crap TA.

Yesterday, despite 3 visits from the S&LT who set targets about 'modelling' a message task 5x a week, and despite school being exposed for doing nothing (or pretending they'd been doing it but 'forgetting' to keep records), TA told DS on a message delivering task on his own. When he said he couldn't do it, she let him go with a friend but said 'you should be doing this yourself'. shock

Seriously, she hadn't even be working on the f***ing target with him at all over the last five weeks and then lies and then starts telling him to do it himself.

Anyway, I had an appointment with the head today after I mentioned all my concerns to the senco.

Head is always very defensive about her staff even when they're clearly crap. So she 'feels sorry' for the TA for having to deal with such a 'complex' situation. This TA that she hired without qualification because she 'seemed sympathetic' is a cow and useless. She has lied about loads of things and doesn't do most of what is agreed when professionals come in.

Head was covering her arse as was class teacher who tried to pretend TA had gone with DS but then backed down and said he didn't know after trying to pretend she'd 'given DS a choice about how to do it'. This was because I told him that wasn't acceptable when the S&LT was telling her to model a task before sending him alone.

Head tried to suggest I was being very undermining to the crap TA and to the other TA who is superb. I had to say that was clearly untrue and I have a great relationship with the other TA whose praises I am always singing.

Anyway, I told her I blamed the 'system' not the individual and if the TA wsn't delivering, it was because she wasn't being trained, supported and directed properly. I told them they needed to access outside expertise. I wasn't blaming them for not knowing what to do but everyone else will blame them for not putting provision in place. They need to get with the programme. I think that sunk in a bit.

What gets me is that they still don't understand DS and his problems. It is the second time this week I have had to explain to staff that their 'perception' of him was irrelevant, that they have ample evidence of his needs and the fact that he is unlikely to communicate his difficulties so they shouldn't take it personally if they felt something went ok and I report back that it didn't/

Honestly, the child has had a statement for five months and they still don't get this. They are so f***ing precious it's untrue. Feel sorry for my son not a whingy incompetent TA.

I wish I could just walk from the place. But this bloody Tribunal makes it impossible.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Fri 17-Jun-11 18:56:39

All I can say really, is I agree they should be thinking about your DS, not this TA! sad

c0rn55ilk Fri 17-Jun-11 18:58:23

is this the one that was crying?

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 18:59:53

Maybe it's just the quickest way to get rid of us. Head told our advocate that she 'spends more time on DS than any other child in the school' and that they have a child with a S&LI who hasn't even got S&LT. She clearly thinks we got lucky and they can't be bothered

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:07:12

Yes, but they've all done the crocodile tears bit - usually when they're caught lying about something.

tryingtokeepintune Fri 17-Jun-11 19:09:49

Very much sympathize with you. They don't seem to understand that doing their jobs will make things easier for everyone - really accept that parents do not just want to criticize, most of us are too busy, we want action and results. They can't understand that if they try, and it does not work, we will work with them to find a solution - instead we use up our energies and time trying to get them to do the things they are meant to and trying to expose their lies!

My ds's ht wrote in a letter that the poor SENCO was feeling picked upon and she will take the next few meetings with me! All because I wanted her to be held accountable for her actions and implement his statemented provisions.

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:13:00

trying - that seems very similar. DS's senco really messed up as she is out of her depth. But rather than ask for help, she starts lying, messing up meetings, looking a fool and getting all teary-eyed.

Yet, head says 'senco is marvellous and so knowledgable'.

I could only say 'she seems to work hard'.

Why is it so hard to say 'we're not experts, someone needs to help us as we haven't got a clue'. I have told them I don't expect them to know, but I do expect them to access help.

I think the reality is that they don't want to help really and are being forced to, so this will always be a battle

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:24:48

Going through much the same at the moment. SENco has just sworn black is white that my dd is getting 4 sessions of speech therapy delvered by TA each week on a daily basis. So I have had to email him back and tell the SENco that my dd got one session this week because the TA was on a trip on Wednesday and in a meeting on Friday and the school bus was late on Tuesday. They don't care and are just lying to cover their own arses. I have a tribunal next month trying to get the wording to be so that the provision is timetabled in...

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:28:07

Oh and none of the TA's including her named one is speaking to dd because I am chasing this up.......

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:28:49

That's what shocks me most. They lie, lots, about crap. If they said 'sorry we have a real problem this week and can't do x, y or z' you'd be ok. BUt they lie because they don't want to do x,y or z and it's not an oversight and they just hope they can get away with it.

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:35:08

It doesn't shock me after almost 5 years of fighting the LEA ands school I have realised they don't give a damn. It just pees me off which is not a good thing for them as they have taught me to be tough.

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:37:48

That is definitely true. You become much more straight talking and demanding when you know you're being lied to. Diplomacy goes out the window.

I have been nice, encouraging and supportive. It makes no difference to the way they act.

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:39:30

Exactly! They can treat me how they want though but to not speak to my dd is just sick!

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:42:49

That is truly pathetic. I wondered myself if this was why DS was just being told to 'do it yourself'.

There's no future at schools like this is there?

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:44:36

No but how do we get them out of there when they refuse to admit they are failing them!? Soo frustrating! Just been reading about NAS's new campaign which seems quite apt!!

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:47:21

what campaign is that?

DS has a statement (not through the help of school) but we're mired in Tribunal so we can't do owt at the moment.

I'd bloody love to see the head in the witness box as she is useless on SEN and her comments border on the offensive at times.

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:52:46

www.autism.org.uk/campaign

Yep dd has a statement but the provisions which aren't academic ones are being ignored - the only thing they do care about is the schools statistics!

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:55:38

We have SENco who thinks dd's staement needs to be more flexible...
The Principle EP
The SaLT
All acting for the LEA - can't wait to see their evidence that the provisions are happening..

Justunbelievable Fri 17-Jun-11 19:56:06

Unfortunately this attitude is all too common. Just had a major complaint against school and had meeting with gov to discuss. HT and DHT blatantly lied but they know full well there's little we can do about it. Went through the whole sm like a double-act stating the provision required and how they deliver it. All well scripted and just laughable really. When asked why it had taken over 3 months to remove a box the lsa had painted in the playground for DS to stand in shocksaid that they had to wait for the paint to dry then take advice on how to remove it! It was removed the mornng of our meeting. Funny that!

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:56:34

OMG - our school is the same!

I do wonder whether the NAS is so knee-deep in the education system anyway that they're not likely to be offering anything controversial.

It really annoys me that they offer nothing in terms of support to parents in our position.

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 19:58:52

justunbelievable - this is the problem. They lie. They know, we know they know they're lying but governors aren't going to believe it and they will always fall back on the 'we're doing our best for this child and his demanding parents, but we have other children to think of'

When they KNOW they are not even providing what is in his statement.

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 19:59:45

It just a case of leading the horse to water - can't make them drink from it....

That's digusting Just!!

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 20:07:24

My dd is getting to big to encourage her to get on the school bus now which is transport provided for by the LEA so I am expected the same old put the parent through the mill with childrens services whilst we lie and pretend we are perfect routine to start anytime soon. I have proved the schools have failed her twice before and I will do so again...

appropriatelytrained Fri 17-Jun-11 20:10:07

It is also interesting when your child becomes aware enough to tell you what is happening ......like I haven't seen Mrs TA all day or I asked Mrs TA for help to find a lunchtime buddy and she said 'do it yourself'

The one thing about my Aspie is that he sees no point in lying or making anything up

wasuup3000 Fri 17-Jun-11 20:14:44

No the problem is trying to explain that they percieve things differently to school..the basics really, very annoying but not much you can do!

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