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CAF meeting today :(

(8 Posts)
saladsandwich Wed 15-Jun-11 09:21:35

not looking forward to it, no idea what is expected of me tbh. theres only the health visitor, family support worker and SALT going all lovely people so don't know why i'm so worried, think it's just because i blame myself for all of ds problems, can't help thinking maybe it's just me not coping. he is 2 and 6months so most of his behaviour could be classed as terrible twos its just so constant or extreme i was head butted 20+ times yesterday, he's started biting himself sad xx

IndigoBell Wed 15-Jun-11 09:32:40

Good luck. It is hard.

(Sounds stupid but I always hype myself up on coca-cola before I go in to meetings....)

But it is good that you're having this meeting, and good that things are moving when he is so young......

brandy77 Wed 15-Jun-11 09:35:21

ah bless you, the first CAF meeting is sooo nervewracking so i dont empathise with how youre feeling. DONT blame yourself! and try not to let that come across in the meeting, only because i did that and i found then that it was easy for school to blame me and not support my son. I tried to hone in on one person at the meeting that was very supportive of my concerns, think it was the EWO so even though her views werent that important it was nice to look up and see a sympathetic smile. Are you taking anyone with you? I had my ex with me, and even though hes an idiot it was better having him sat next to me. My mother came to one with me as well and she was petrified,lol. The meetings get bigger as time goes on and more people become involved. As youre not battling with a school then it sounds like it might be an ok meeting if the HV and SALT share your concerns. Good Luck smile

brandy77 Wed 15-Jun-11 09:36:15

oh damn that was meant to say i DO empathise grin

saladsandwich Wed 15-Jun-11 18:47:56

hi, thanks for the support, i only have 1 friend really who understands but her little ones needs are so different to my little boy's. i found it ok, i was nervous but i recognise all the faces so it really wasn't so bad, we meet again in 6 weeks for another meeting.

there was something i found out today though, i thought he was really well behaved at nursery, turns out that isnt the case... i was shocked when i was told but at the same time relieved he doesn't just do it to me, i really thought it was me seeing things that weren't there sometimes, had his parents evening (at 12:30pm lol) his development according to nursery is between 8 and 20 months and he is working towards 20-26months he is 30months at the moment sad xx

brandy77 Wed 15-Jun-11 21:10:24

hi saladsandwich, pleased for you it went well for. As for the comments about your sons behaviour at nursery, that is a relief smile Its also upsetting as you worry even more and ive found that every report that has been written about my son in the last few months has upset me, it does make you feel incredibly sad for your child when you see their problems in writing. You will get the minutes of the meeting given to you but when you read them try and think that these early invesitgations will hopefully pinpoint if there is a developmental delay and you can learn to understand him and his tempremant more as he gets older. Thats good that they have arranged an apt for 6 weeks time! Very efficient and on the ball, I had 4/5 month waits between my CAF meetings. xx

Ineedalife Wed 15-Jun-11 22:16:38

Hi salad, I just wanted to say how glad I am for you that the nursery have been honest with you about your Ds. When Dd1 [now22] was at nursery they alsways told me she was "as good as gold", while at home she was biting and kicking me amongst other things. When she was 4 she was seen by a physchologist who blamed my parenting for her horrendous behaviour.

We are now pretty certain that she has AS.

Anyway to cut a long story short I stayed with the owners of her nursery a few years ago who now own some holiday accomdation and they spent the whole of one evening telling me how difficult Dd1 was when she was at nursery.

I could have cried, all those years we tried to get help for her and people like them made it impossible.

I hope your Ds gets the support he needs and I am glad that you are on the road to geting this for him.

Good lucksmile.

saladsandwich Wed 15-Jun-11 22:39:43

thankyou, just hope the peadiatrician gets intouch, its all wait wait wait but those that have helped us specifically the health visitor have been nothng more than great and we would be lost without her help tbh, dreading ds turning 5 because we will lose all the people who have really been on our side sad x

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