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why i never go to the Health visitor

(10 Posts)
utah Tue 14-Jun-11 11:33:35

I recently requested a registered disabled card for my son from social service which my GP has to confirm. The HV phoned and informed me that my doctor wanted her to see my son before he signed as he has never met him. Well I wanted to throttle her she questioned why it took so long for him to get help, he regressed he has autism and is non verbal so did not get into the system till he was 2 he is now 4. Why I havent been to see her for nappies (would rather pay than have to see her!) then she got onto DLA I have recieved it since he was 3 it took me while to claim and he gets middle care. She then told me I was in denial with my son and that I should be on higher (i know this but I have to re apply soon anyway) and then went on about my son being severly mental impaired and she could get me high rate mobility. I make my son walk everywhere yes I need to constantly hold him and he does get floppy legs but it would be morally wrong for me to claim, he can walk and walk well. She then told me her door was always open for when i changed my mind. She will have a long wait.

Triggles Tue 14-Jun-11 11:51:16

Interesting. I don't deal with our local HVs as one of them is rather loopy and I'd rather not be in the same room with her ... ever. grin So I can see where you are coming from.

It's not REQUIRED that you push for higher rate or mobility - DS2 actually qualifies for high rate as well as mobility, however, we are happy with the medium rate (covers additional expenses for him at this time) and wasn't up to the appeal for the higher rate (which, with the number of times and length of time he is up at night, he definitely qualifies!!). And we simply couldn't deal with more paperwork to apply for the mobility at this point. We'll review it next year and see where we are at. If we then decide we need to push harder, we'll do it then. I can't see putting myself through the stress right now when I have other concerns.

DS2 is 4yo and still uses pullups at night. Not sure if we could get nappies free through NHS, but if it means going through the HV, then it isn't happening at our house either. I'll just continue to purchase them.

Why does not pushing for more DLA mean you're "in denial?" hmm For us it simply means that we are choosing to focus our priorities on other things at the moment, and if it becomes a pressing need, then we'll focus more on that. It doesn't mean we're in denial, it means we are choosing our battles carefully IMO. grin And that's important! Recognising limitations, and all that. (which actually is a significant symptom of NOT being in denial - knowing your limits)

More importantly though, did you get the card signed that you wanted?

Chundle Tue 14-Jun-11 12:21:15

HV drive me insane. I never go to ours unless I have to. None of ours seem to have their own kids which makes their point of view seem a bit skewed. Both my kids were prem that they don't take into consideration and if I dont want to attend their clique mother and baby groups then I bloody well won't I have my own mates thank you who don't mind that dd2 screams in their faces and shouts at their kids and licks everything in sight. The last HV told me I needed to get Dd2s haircut! WtF??! I told her I didn't like her hairstyle much either and never returned!

TotalChaos Tue 14-Jun-11 12:37:09

bloody stupid question about delay getting help but otherwise sounds like she's trying her best to make sure your family get all your DS is entitled to, and dont think she should be faulted for that tbh.

starfishmummy Tue 14-Jun-11 15:33:35

I managed quite well without a HV - due to there being a constant stream of temps at our surgery. I only used them twice - a referral to the community dentist for DS (on the advice of his lovely community nurse) and once for nappies.

zzzzz Tue 14-Jun-11 17:10:10

We have had a series of terrible health visitors and though the last one was ok, I don't find the service useful at all. If my child is ill I take him/her to a doctor, if I need advice re chicken pox/thorns/nits or something NHS direct or sisters/mother/friends. I have had some pretty awful ones that made me cry.

I find the denial comment so upsetting, and as for what you claim and why it is entirely your own affair. I receive no financial help at all for my son or daughter bar a once a year appointment each with the consultant. That is my choice, and though I will be applying for DLA this year [ds6] I have yet to face up to the form. This is not denial, just I know it will make me sad and take hours and I look after 5 small children, 2 of whom face more challenges than the average, by myself and need to pick my week.
Be business like ask her what she can do to help, and take her up on anything that actually helps....otherwise she probably has little more insight on things than anyone else.

If you are feeling proactive you could write a letter explaining how very difficult it is to do your job under that kind of criticism, and how sad and demoralising her comments made you feel. Ask her if she would consider revising the way she deals with her your GP.

Even if your child is very disabled you are not obligated to receive help from anyone financial or otherwise. [grr]

utah Tue 14-Jun-11 17:54:57

It was the denial comment which offenend me, anyone who needs help should be able to get it but i informed her twice I was not interested in high mobility as my child can walk but she would not have it and my son recieved middle rate as at the time he was still waiting a dx. My doctor has signed the form so I will have my card within two weeks so will no longer need to carry paed letter in the summer when we go on a week of visiting theme parks. Thank you for replying and hopefully the last time of seeing the HV

onessa Tue 14-Jun-11 19:19:54

What is the 'registered disabled card'? and what is it used for? I thought people were no longer 'registered disabled'in the UK.?

utah Tue 14-Jun-11 20:26:07

onessa I do not if all county do one this is the link for the county I live in

Calally Tue 14-Jun-11 21:26:02

couldnt tell you the last time i seen my health visitor. last 1 was a temp who told me ds was severly underweight and i would need to do something about it fast ( he's never been a big eater, and doesnt understand when he's hungry ) but he's healthy and happy. re nappies/pull ups, it was a behavioural therapist who ordered mine, and continues to do so ( think she may be a Hv ). re dla, sw done all referrals. as for gp, he hasnt a clue what difficulties ds has unless i tell him

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