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Can I ask you to cast your knowledgable eyes over this?

(11 Posts)
AtYourCervix Mon 13-Jun-11 22:29:40

here I'm too tired to rehash.

what do you think? if there was nothing would they have said there and then?

WetAugust Mon 13-Jun-11 23:27:05

I read your previous thread.

It sounds as though they will be diagnosing a PDDD - otherwise they would have asked you back for further assessments / dismissed you / referred elsewhere.

I can understand your anxiety and your reluctance to have this dx but it will greatly assist your DD to be able to find out why she is 'different'. She's still your DD with or without this dx. It may get her extra help at school and will cetainly help her to explain why she has difficulties with certain things.

My son was dx'd with PDDD at age 15. He graduates from Uni next month.

It's not all bad.

Take care

AtYourCervix Mon 13-Jun-11 23:31:04

thanks.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Mon 13-Jun-11 23:58:47

Hi AtYourCervix. I think everyone on here will agree that it's best to know. It won't change your DD, she's still the same 'stroppy' lovely teenager. This DX will open doors for her, will help her to understand herself, why she feels different.

But it's hard for you to come to terms with, even if you have been actively looking for a DX. (((hugs))) Have that wine and be kind to yourself. Your DD seems to be taking it well. I bet she won't want hugs!

angelPeacock Tue 14-Jun-11 00:27:15

ive been having a bad day today, and posting on here realy helped.

i know what you meen with not wanting to do it, and just "ignore" the Dx side of things, i keep thinking to myself am i doing the right thing, but then i remember that you will have something to actually say to people, you will have a reason for the future, and your child will be able to get help.

trust yourself, and deep down you know its right..as much as it hurts and as much as you want to deny it, and as much as you think "but shes just her!". a Dx will not stop or change anything, the only way it can change, is by opening opertunities.

if you want to chat we are always here huni xx

IndigoBell Tue 14-Jun-11 00:57:13

They do think she has ASD, or one of the related conditions.

If they had found 'nothing wrong' they would have told you there and then.

But, it's good news. She's the same person she always was, but now she can access help if she wants it

She can also ignore the label if she wants to. Nobody will never know about her dx unless you told them. You never have to tell anyone really. You certainly don't have to tell university or employers - unless you want to.

But, it allows her to find out more about her quirks, research them, and get support for them. For example she can join an online forum like this for support (She might like http://www.wrongplanet.net/)

Your behaviour doesn't have to change. School's behaviour doesn't have to change. But your brilliant DD can now ask for help as and when she needs it....

Nothing will change at school unless you go in there and make a big fuss, and seeing as you don't want to do that, nothing will happen or change.

Big hugs. You're doing all the right things. Now you just have to go through the natural grieving process that we too have all been through......

TheDuckster Tue 14-Jun-11 08:02:31

From what you have said it looks as though a dx is likely.

On the other thread you mentioned that you have been 'dealing with her'. You don't really mention how SHE is dealing with things (school, friends, home life etc). Is she happy, coping with school, stressed/agressive? The very fact you have got to the point of going for an assessment suggests she has probably experienced problems of some kind.

You mentioned that she doesn't seem to mind. She may actually be relieved - my DD was because it explained why she had the problems she had.

The label won't hold her back. She will still be the same person with or without the label. It will hopefully mean that she receives any help she may need.

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jun-11 08:04:54

thanks. didn't sleep well last night. And yes. It would be nice to just pick her up and hug her but she really wouldn't enjoy that grin

AtYourCervix Tue 14-Jun-11 08:08:38

sorry x post duck.

School is and has always been difficult. she has been much much 'better' in the last 6 months or so but I think that is probably natural maturing but she still gets overloaded and explodes occasionally.

I think she would be very relieved if there was something she could think of as the cause for her feeling so wierd, which is why she has been keen for assessment.

And she is the still funny, stroppy wierdy girl she has always been.

TheDuckster Tue 14-Jun-11 08:43:30

She sounds very much like my DD (now 22).

If she is dx'd with AS I would recommend finding out as much as you can (talking to others/books/videos - by people with AS or parents of people with AS - rather than the 'so-called experts').

AS is really complicated but it is only when I truly started to understand it that I was able to help my DD and our relationship improved.

That doesn't mean it is all rosy now - it isn't - but it is much better.

She is now in her 2nd year at uni (living away from home during term time).

joencaitlinsmum Tue 14-Jun-11 14:19:03

We have just been through the same process with our DS who is 11, to be honest I had no idea he had something until 9 months ago when he had a major meltdown on a school residential trip in front of a really experienced teacher, like you we had always dealt with his little foibles.

I have gone through all the emotions since, guilt, denial, anger etc. At the end of the day I realised he had to have additional help coping with his anxiety etc, luckily for him he is academically bright and doesnt need support there.

We are going through the transition to secondary school at the moment and they are seeing him through new eyes (with his dx) IYKWIM and it is going to make so much difference to him in terms of support etc. I didnt want him labeled but realised its all for his benefit and tbh he is also relieved at knowing why he is the way he is and we do understand him better as well!

When we saw the psychiatrist he told us that he was happy to confirm a dx there and then, we didnt have to go back as he felt he couldnt offer DS anything that we hadnt already put in place. He did send us a detailed report after. Sounds like you might have to go back to discuss the next steps, I'm sure they would have said if they didnt have a dx as you wouldnt need to go back?

Go easy on yourself, hugs xx

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