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SN children

keeping a job

12 replies

conrsikl · 12/06/2011 13:25

It is so difficult to keep working. I really, really want to but it's getting to be so difficult. It's just so bloody stupid. We have the right to ask for flexible working but the employer doesn't have to agree. We have the right to take up to 4 weeks unpaid leave a year...same as parents of N/T children I believe. Am I wrong? Is there other legislation I can't find? Confused

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siblingrivalry · 12/06/2011 13:43

I totally sympathise with you. I don't know about legislation, sorry, but I know what you are going through.
I had to give up my job 3 years ago, because finding childcare for dd1 became impossible - nobody could cope with her high anxiety and phobias.

I would love to go back to work, but the same problems exist.

Hopefully, someone with experience of the rules and regs will be along soon. Good luck x

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Calally · 12/06/2011 13:48

i totally understand where your coming from. i posted a similar problem on here. ds is in school, and when he finishes for the summer, im screwed. i have flexible working hours, but having to swap days off is pushing this to the limit. not sure how much unpaid leave you can take. in my work, were allowed up to 26 weeks unpaid up till the child turns 18, which isnt that much. but you can only take it if it suits them. depending on who you work for, you could contact your hr or head office?

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Calally · 12/06/2011 13:53

just been looking on the direct gov website. doesnt say what your entitled to in a year. just that parent/s of a disabled child are allowed up to 18 weeks parental leave ( unpaid leave ) till the child turns 18. which is more than that of children without a disability. on the website, search parental or unpaid leave

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conrsikl · 12/06/2011 14:10

yes I saw that - parents can have 4 weeks a year though - same as NT parents.

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Calally · 12/06/2011 14:13

really i wasnt aware of that. ive been asking for unpaid leave for during the summer. but it cant be done. so totally stuck over the summer, and looks like its gonna be like that from now on, as our holiday system has changed, to 1st come 1st served, as i dont start till later i havent a hope of getting any of the time i want :(

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Calally · 12/06/2011 14:15

its like were being penalised for wanting to work :( most of the parents that i no off, either as my sons old nursery or school, dont work. its frustrating as they all know each other, and attend all the support groups coffee morning together etc. whereas i dont attend any as there always on when im working :(

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conrsikl · 12/06/2011 14:18

It just doesn't make sense - if we don't work we cost the taxpayer more surely.

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Calally · 12/06/2011 14:41

i no, its so frustrating. i can work while ds is in school. but its fitting his transport to n from school around working hours, and holidays. theres so many after school/holiday clubs running near me, but none of them can take ds because of his needs. there are some clubs for disabled children, but they run every other sat, which is great, but doesnt help with the work situation. currently ds school bus picks him up at 8, i get bus 10mins later, and start work at 9. due to his behaviour on the bus, hes been removed, temporarily. school assured me nothing had been arranged for sept (currently my mum is taking him ). got a letter from transport, stating that from sept he'll be picked up at 08:50 ( so he can travel on an empty bus by himself ). which leaves me totally screwed. so either my mum takes him to the bus stop, i find a childminder ( which are like gold dust ) or i give up work. :(

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Triggles · 12/06/2011 16:19

I don't work, although we had made that decision once we had DS3 anyway. I was going to go back to work when DS3 went to school, but finding childcare for DS2 would be impossible, so it looks like I'm a SAHM permanently. Really no other option for us.

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used2bthin · 12/06/2011 19:50

Recently gone back to work for first time in four years. I could have written this OP its so hard. Last week I was offered a cancellation op for DD and took three days annual leave at very short notice only to be told DD was on the wrong list and may not get her op still. And I am part time but still have to take loads of time to go to appointments. My work is suffering from missing time as well as finding it hard to concentrate as I am worried all the time.

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geeandfeesmum · 12/06/2011 22:39

Another one here suffering with work and all the added strain that comes with an SN child. DD never sleeps so DH and I are always tired. She has so many appointments I can't keep up with them. She is in the early pre-diagnosis stage so maybe it calms down after the dx bur it just seems like there is a new one every day. DH and I both work full time. We have an nt DS aged 4 and SN poss ASD DD aged 3. Just to top it all off they both developed chicken pox over the weekend and I'm still recovering from surgery and not as fast as I would like.

Sorry rant over!!

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wendihouse22 · 13/06/2011 10:11

I left nursing 5 years ago with every intention of going back at some point in a part time capacity but.....son now 10, asd/ocd/tourettes. This week he's doing a full (almost) week at school but, much of this term he's done short weeks/days and franky, there's nothing at all that would fit.

I was an NHS Staff nurse, junior and then senior sister. I earned good money but, God, the hours. And when I was (unexpectedly) a single parent, I tried very hard to fit it all in and it nearly bloody killed me.

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