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Diagnosed today my son with asd what do I do now

(13 Posts)
linbam Tue 31-May-11 14:00:36

My ds2 has been diagnosed with asd today my emotions are mixed he I 11 years old, what do I do from here x

sickofsocalledexperts Tue 31-May-11 14:46:08

How is he coping at school? If you do not already have a statement, a diagnosis is pretty crucial in applying for a statement which will get him the extra help he needs. It is always a shock, even if you have suspected it all along.x

leiela Tue 31-May-11 15:12:08

Well done you... I know its a shock but its really a good thing.

Now you can learn how to deal with him and how he see's the world which will make everyone cope better.

No-one wants to think of thier child as broken ... but he isn't not really he just see's things differently thats all.

He isn't a different child to the one you loved yesterday but now you have been equipt with a name to put to those differences you can begin to learn what those differences mean.

Me ... my first step was to READ everything in sight about ASD.

IndigoBell Tue 31-May-11 15:35:19

Check out the NAS site, you may have a local support group.

Now, you keep doing what you've always been doing smile

What are his major problems? Is there anything you can do to help him overcome these?

A diagnosis just helps you use google to try and help your DS......

If he is having problems at school then you should also make an appt to see the SENCO to discuss what else school should be doing.....

Al1son Tue 31-May-11 15:36:46

I was you just over a year ago. DD1 was 12 when she was diagnosed and when the psychologist first raised it (I suddenly realised where all his questions were leading) I was in a daze. I spent two weeks reading everything I could get my hands on and the more I read the more I realised he was right.

It was school issues which prompted DD1's assessment so my reaction was to throw myself into fighting tooth and nail to get her adequate school provision. That kept me well occupied for the next few months.

Your emotions will be mixed for a while and they will also be a bit of a roller coaster as you come to terms with this news. Try to give yourself some time to come to terms before you do anything else. No matter how much one has fought for a diagnosis like this it is still a shock.

You may have issues when you share it with other family members or friends as there are often some who don't want to believe it. I found it useful to offer printed leaflets, photocopies from books or website addresses. I'd hand the info over and asked them to read a bit more before they made up their mind if I was right. There are still friends who don't believe and we have agreed to disagree and the subject is no longer raised.

If your DS has any anxiety or other difficulties resulting from his ASD now is the time to seek support for him.

I also agree that if he needs additional support in school you may now have a bit more power in terms of demanding it.

mariamagdalena Tue 31-May-11 22:22:18

Hiya. Mixed emotions is right, for me the relief of having the diagnosis came first and then the grief of knowing it was true. I wasn't mad, nor an incompetent parent, and DS wasn't deliberately difficult.

So now that's out of the way, you can get on with parenting your lovely boy just as you've got on with it for the last 11 years. Knowing about his differences will make everyone's lives much easier and ensure you can start to access the help he needs. And the odd wave of grief is normal.

linbam Wed 01-Jun-11 11:08:48

Thanks everyone yeah mixed emotions altho it was expected I knew he was different all his life and buried my head but releif in knowing once again thanks for the support

scartette Fri 17-Jun-11 14:14:09

My 11yr old DS dx 4months ago. Such a rollercoaster of mixed feelings. Sometimes feel so sad bout it and other times quite optimistic. Really helps knowing so many others in same boat.

gastonscave Fri 17-Jun-11 20:08:33

linbam how are you feeling now? we are in the same boat as you. We were seen by the Child Development Unit at our local hospital on Tuesday, she gave a diagnosis of Aspergers, said she would sent us a copy of her report and off you pop.

I am at a complete loss as to where we go from here. I have an appointment with the school SENCO and headteacher next Friday so hopefully they can shed some light on what next.

DS has always had social problems doesn't mix well with other children, just one or two friends, very stubborn, if he doesn't see the point in doing something he won't, SATS in year 5 were great!! Will question teachers if he thinks they are wrong and has no problems correcting them. Very very able but comes across as very lazy. I knew he had issues particularly at school which is why we moved schools last year but I never thought Aspergers

Anyway I'm rambling, I hope you have managed to find some local support and have been pointed in the right direction. I maybe coming to you for advise soon as we seem to be at the same point in all this

scartette Fri 17-Jun-11 23:57:39

GASTONSCAVE,we were same as you-never expected Aspergers. Once we got dx 4 months ago for our 11yrold DS the school took over and he gets an hour a day with a resource teacher. Hopefully your school will turn up trumps. Our lad is mild but sounds very like your boy. School appointed a new deputy head recently and he asked the head how exactly did he reach the decision and then queried the wisdom of the choice. Sometimes you have to laugh. Other than that , I scoured the internet for info and I got Tony Attwoods book-THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO ASPERGERS SYNDROME- it really good. But we still struggling to accept it all. Nothing for it but to do the best we can for our lads .

gastonscave Sat 18-Jun-11 13:20:25

Thanks scartette, I think it helps to know their are others on the same journey. I must say the school have been fantastic the SENCO is ds class teacher and she is the one that instigated the assessment.

Unfortunately there is one particular teacher that seems to have it in for ds as the first week he was there he was asking too many questions and trying to catch her out as she put it. Seems to have had it in for him even since and likes to humiliate him in front of the other children, will be discussing her approach on Friday with the head.

Have order the Tony Attwood book, thank you for the recommendation. We are making our way though Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers Syndrome at the moment which ds is enjoying

scartette Sat 18-Jun-11 14:30:35

GASTONSCAVE,that teacher sounds like she has no understanding of AS at all. That is problem with AS kids-they come across as being rude and 'full of themselves'-real knowalls. Our lad took dx really badly -became very withdrawn at school for a while and very depressed that he is 'different' and has this condition.Took lots of persuading him that it only means he thinks and acts a bit differently to others sometimes. Sounds like your school will be big help,thank goodness. Makes all the difference. Let us know how it all goes.So sorry LINBAM to keep communicating with gastonscave-I feel I'm ignoring your concerns- Its the Aspergers link ! So helpful to hear other peoples stories.

gastonscave Sat 18-Jun-11 15:31:39

Your poor ds it is a hard thing to contemplate at any age. My ds seems to be taking it in his stride. He said he knows he is 'different' and sometimes it bothers him and sometimes to doesn't

He was upset on Tuesday when we got the DX, but we have made a list of all the famous people who have or are believed to have AS such as Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Alfred Hitchcock, Sir Issac Newton, Charles Darwin, the list goes on, and he seems contend with that for the moment. I'm sure the questions will come. He is just formulating them wink

He says he is a member of a very elusive club

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