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Asperger's son - whether/when/how to tell??(8 Posts)
Wot it says in the title, really.
DS1 (9) was diagnosed with Asperger's a while back.
Do we tell him? If so, how? If not, when?
Thanks in advance
My son is aspergers and diagnosed 12 months ago. I told him on saturday he's 11. Honestly he was really alright with it i thought he would be upset but i guess kids know more than we think they do. Tbh i think he was just greatful there was an explination for the way her feels and why he's different.
I took a great deal of time to explain to him the differences and why it ment sometimes he got confused or upset that the other kids thought he was weird.
But mostly i just stressed that we loved him no less, it didn't mean he was "broken". I also pointed out the good sides like his attention for detail and concentration etc.
When I told DD1 her reponse was "I know. I've known since the first day I was allowed to have a locker in the autism base". This was 5 months earlier when she first started to refuse to attend school due to anxiety. It took the wind out of my sails big time!
i tried to explain on numerous occasions to my ds ASD he was 10yo at the time he just didnt get it or really have the patience to listen he just says yeah yeah blah blah blah , i tried this book , All cat's have Asperger Syndrome as i thought something simple and easier to relate to as we have cats , its worth a go see this youtube link they go through the book and you can get it on amazon
We used the All cat's have Asperger Syndrome with our DD it was brilliant. As we went through the book with her we were able to give her examples of how her behaviour related to each page and she could also give examples. When we got to the end she told us that she thought 2 other children at her school had Aspergers and she was right!!! She took it all in and I think she was relieved that there was a reason for her she feels, and that she is not the only one.
I told my son when aged 8.
He knew he was different, and the expert view seems to be that it is better that they understand the real reason for that difference, before they start hating themselves/thinking they're mad, etc.
Telling my son turned out to be a cheerful conversation about things that some people find easy, and others find difficult. We put different skills into an 'easy' pile and a 'difficult' pile. So when we did it for Granny, 'chatting' went into the 'easy' pile but 'football' went into the difficult pile, but for my ds, it was the other way round. Then I said that there is a name for people who have the same difficulties (& strengths!) as ds, people with a different sort of brain, and we took it from there...
Then he read "The Blue Bottle Mystery" novel about aspergers by way of further dramatisation of this.
Having said all this, I don't think it quite sank in, and a year on, I think we need to revisit this.
Good luck x
Thank you all for your responses.
I'm not actually sure whether he sees himself as "different". I love the idea of introducing a conversation about how some people find different things easy/difficult, and going from there.
I've always explained the "differences" in people to my son, even long before the DX i knew there was something a miss so it was my best explination.
I think it's important to stress he's different rather than stress a disability... one just sounds nicer than the other
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