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How do you manage the stress?

(51 Posts)
asdx2 Wed 25-May-11 21:58:05

Have been suffering greatly with stress this last week or two, migraines, palpitations, dodgy tummy and pain in my arm.
It's a bit difficult to escape the stress tbh so need to find ways to manage it.
Not too keen on the thoughts of medication so what do you do?

creatovator Wed 25-May-11 22:06:30

Have you tried deep breathing or some form of meditation/prayer. That usually works for me. Exercise can help a bit too I find, though I don't always get time for that.

Talking of time - taking time out for yourself to do something you really enjoy is good too. I like arts and crafts. I sometimes just use pastels and put markings on a page to represent what I feel. It's not a picture, but helps.

Talking things out with a trusted friend or counsellor is great too. I find it stops things going around in my head. Or writing things out in a diary/journal.

I have also watched a good weepy movie and had a good cry.

Hope these are helpful and you find something that suits you soon.

rebl Wed 25-May-11 22:17:39

I garden. The greenhouse is child out of bounds. But when I'm home alone with ds I can't garden, he's too demanding. Whilst he's home I can't de-stress and thats causing a major problem at the moment. In the normal course of events though just 10 - 15mins in the garden a day by myself is enough.

DietcokeGirl Wed 25-May-11 22:18:43

I usually eat and drink too much wine but have started doing some exercise every chance I get. I am forcing myself to do it as can't carry on feeling so rubbish. I am having palpitations again too and feeling totally drained. It has made me feel better burning off some stress! I also watch some trash on tv even if it means staying up past by usual bedtime (around now!).

Hope you can find some time to do something you enjoy and makes you feel a bit more relaxed. Easier said than done, I know.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Wed 25-May-11 22:40:26

Weepy movies do it for me as well, I start crying at the film, then have a really good cry about everything. The puffy eyes are a bit of a giveaway, next day, though!

Al1son Wed 25-May-11 22:52:00

EllenJane that's exactly what I do. I also cry when I'm peeling onions and walking the dog at night so no-one can see me.

asdx2I wouldn't discount medication completely. My GP tried to give me antidepressants until I pointed out that I was sitting in her surgery in tears because I have spent the last two years fighting tooth and nail to get provision for my DCs and I was tired and stressed for a good reason. She gave me beta-blockers instead which take away the physical symptoms of the stress and lower your BP. They made me feel so much better. I can think relatively clearly again and I don't feel ill within ten seconds of waking up in the morning.

Give it some thought. I'm normally fairly reluctant to take things like this but it has been sooooo worth it.

wasuup3000 Wed 25-May-11 23:13:13

I go the gym, or for a swim for some me time when they are at school and sometimes if I need a break at the weekends.

bochead Wed 25-May-11 23:20:40

The wartime mantra "keep calm and carry on". I mutter it while waiting outside doors for yet another pointless meeting.

My veggie patch, - ds hunts bugs with a magnifying glass and chomps all the strawberries/peas. Walking the dog (dog calms ds down). T'internet (better to rant on here than scream out loud and upset my kid).

The la Siffre song - "something inside so strong", and Collie Budz's "Blind to you" or Kenny Arkanna's "La Rage". (Song depends on who/what's upset me & I have to use headphones to listen).

Baking, any arty crafty activities.

The bath (IF I'm allowed to have a bath by myself it's pure heaven).

TooJung Wed 25-May-11 23:36:29

I eat some plain chocolate each day and some banana to keep my palpitations and facial tics away (my eye lid or just under my eye).

I go for a walk. I have a favourite shower gel. Wash my hair. Cuddle the cat and let her snuggle up to me. Have a hot water bottle by my feet and another on my chest. Sit on the sofa with a duvet over me. Headphones in bed hooked up to a reliable radio. Comfort foods in the freezer and comfort drinks. My favourite mug. Dark glasses to prevent bright sun light from triggering visual disturbance/pre migraine thing.

Lots of the other suggestions help me too.

signandsmile Thu 26-May-11 07:56:49

fraid it's prozac for me... blush

but also a block of couselling helped, as does exercise, (swimming relaxes me, weight training (altho its been a long long time since I did it) uses up my anger.

Because I have a faith prayer is also keeping me sane, a place to go and be totally honest about how I feel and who I am.

hazeyjane Thu 26-May-11 08:20:20

I have been suffering anxiety and panic attacks since ds was born, so i'll be watching this thread for tips.

I have always balked at the idea of anti depressants, but my gp prescribed Citalopram a couple of months ago, as I felt I just wasn't coping. They have made a huge difference, i am on a tiny dose, but it was just enough to give me a push to try and take some time for myself, and to stop me losing my patience with my dcs, when stress is getting on top of me.

bigbluebus Thu 26-May-11 08:53:23

I used to get tightening in my chest and pain in left arm which came on when stressed. Now go to the gym 3 times a week (when DD is at school) and take it out on the treadmill - run about 4 - 5 miles each time. Has done wonders for my physical and mental health.
Now that DS is 14( HF ASD) he has also joined the gym in the hope that it will help with his anger management. He actually enjoys going - think his motive is doing weights and building up muscles to attract girls though as he lacks the social skills to chat them up LOL. But he runs at least 3 miles too and it gets him off the playstation which IMO is the cause of stress to both of us!
The other plus side to going to the gym is I can eat chocolate & drink wine & not put on weight so its a win win situation.

moosemama Thu 26-May-11 09:46:15

Pretty much the only thing that works for me is exercise - specifically walking. I used to walk miles every morning while the boys were at school, but since breaking my foot and snapping a tendon last year I can barely walk anywhere.

I find I get into a kind of zone while I'm walking. I don't do it consciously, but I find myself counting my footsteps in cycles and that clears my mind. I suppose its sort of meditative in its own way.

I went to the GP in January, because I was waking up in the night in the middle of an anxiety attack several times a night. He gave me beta-blockers, but I already have low blood pressure, so they just make me feel ridiculously tired and generally not well, so I don't take them unless the stress is through the roof.

You need to find some thing to do that switches it all off for a while. You brain needs a rest from the constant, all encompassing thought processes that seem to accompany our lives. I find that if it goes quiet, or I try to sleep its worse, as everything starts racing through my mind.

Do you read at all? A really good book is the only other thing that works for me. I find that if I get into a really good one I can use it to switch the brain chatter off before I go to sleep.

wendihouse22 Thu 26-May-11 10:13:05

Recommend the gym. I do an hour, 3 or 4 times a week and it's not a social chit chat for me. I just go, put my head down and ears back...... I guess it's a release of some sort. I'm a big girl and don't give a toss who's looking at me!

I play Strausse waltzes (substitute for any other music that gets your circulation going) full pelt in the car, when I'm alone. It makes me smile. I also talk to myself....I know it sounds crazy but, I can talk and not be judged and am not seeking any "answers" from anyone. There's no answer to the stuff my ds's going through right now.

Seconding the cat cuddle....you can't beat it.

wendihouse22 Thu 26-May-11 10:13:44

That would be Straus.

dottyp82 Thu 26-May-11 10:33:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nicevideoshameaboutthesong Thu 26-May-11 10:39:21

medications:l propranolol for palps, and my neck meds double up to help anxiety too (clonazepam).

and the GYM. definitely.

wendihouse22 Thu 26-May-11 11:53:11

Bugger....Strauss. With 2 "s's". I MUST be stressed!!

Triggles Thu 26-May-11 12:08:53

I can't do the crying thing - if I do it spirals and I just fall apart and can't pull back together. Probably why I have had such difficulty getting past my father passing away two months ago.

I need lots of little breaks - 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there. Enough time for a short uninterrupted meal, a shower or nice bubble bath, washing up (or doing some "obviously I've gotten something done today" chore which I sometimes find oddly comforting), or even a short blitz of cleaning through some junk drawer or something like that. Some days all I want is time to finish a blasted cup of tea without being dragged off here or there! grin Little things add up for me.

I could do with more exercise, but I'm flummoxed really. I can't get anywhere walking with the boys along, and if I either go by myself or with DS2 in a pushchair during the school day, then I worry that the school will call while I'm out walking (on my mobile) and say I need to come pick him up and it will take me forever to get there! It's happened before, and they were quite good about it, but it still bothers me to take a long time to go get him if he's ill or hurt. Not that I tie myself to the house, but it usually means we take the car... which isn't much exercise, is it? hmm I'm going to have to find some exercise I can do at home.

nickminiink Thu 26-May-11 12:58:31

My stress and anxiety is with me most of the time, I wake up with it and I go to bed with it, I have been on beta blockers and I saw a counsellor for a year but nothing completely stops it. I go to the gym 3 times aweek for 11/2 hours and this is the only time I don't feel anxious or stressed, when I leave the gym walk through the door its back. My life seems to revolve round the continous battles with the professionals, chasing appointments, sending off forms and then holding down a full time very stressful job and then the hours upon hours of sitting with my son helping with his homework and meltdowns. The beta blockers never helped me nor did the counsellor, I don't like taking drugs never have, so don't want to start now I guess I think I can beat it, who knows. I do have time away from it all with my mates now and again but when I am with them I feel guilty, so it never goes away. The heart palpatations are the worse, which stress me more as I worry about my health, which I need to be strong for my children, never ending cycle for me. But definetly for 3 x 11/2 hours a week the GYM works.

chocjunkie Thu 26-May-11 13:32:42

I haven't really found a way to deal with the stress. I am stressed most of the time and usually end up living up to my name...

bigbluebus Thu 26-May-11 13:37:28

Triggles
I was once at the gym & left my phone in the locker. After gym session, went for a swim & had a coffee with a friend I met there. When I checked my mobile at end of all that I had 3 missed calls from DD's school. She had had a seizure, gone in an ambulance to A&E,stopped the seizure and tranferred onto children's ward by the time I picked up the messages. She was with a TA from school all the time - whom I have to say looked in a worse state than DD when I arrived. Not to mention the time I was on holiday lying by the pool in Spain when the respite home called to say DD had been admitted to hospital. I beat myself up over 'not being there' for a while, but then realised that you can't be there all the time. School will cope if they can't get you immediately and when I was at school there were no mobile phones - in fact my parents didn't even have a land line for part of my childhood!
I know its a mother natural instinct to want to be there to protect her young all the time, and modern technology has made that possible, but there is no point in adding to our already stressful lives by trying to be there 24/7. Go out and get you fresh air and exercise! (spoken by a mother who is worrying about whether DD will be ill whilst we are away on holiday next week and she is in respite)!

Chundle Thu 26-May-11 13:45:24

I do pilates DVD and usually dd2 tries to join in with me which can be amusing smile then there's always vino in the evening to put back on the calories that the pilates stole from me!

hazeyjane Thu 26-May-11 14:27:10

I tried Pilates, but found it almost too calm, it seemed to leave me to much room for thinking. I think a more vigourous exercise like the gym, or running maybe works better with stress (for me anyway) The trouble I find is having the energy to get off my arse to go to gym/swimming/running.

Someone mentioned reading earlier, I find it impossible to read, I tend to read the same sentence over and over. I can't remember the last book I read, which makes me sad, as I used to love reading.

wendihouse22 Thu 26-May-11 14:32:13

Hazeyjane...Me too! I was always reading, in fact it was one of the reasons cited for my husband's leaving me....."you've always got your nose in a bloody book" he's say. Nowadays, I get 200 pages in to a book and it goes back to the library. Have no idea what it is but, I find myself reading the same paragraph over and over and still can't make head nor tail of where I am.

I used to chew through a couple of books a week!

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